Although I eventually ended the relationship, my ex-boyfriend proved to be a horrible partner who treated me poorly. What's frustrating is that he's now treating his new girlfriend exceptionally well, and while I'm genuinely happy for them both, a part of me still holds onto some resentment that I can't seem to let go of.
1. He slowly became emotionally abusive
Initially, my relationship with my ex-boyfriend was not unhealthy. He was kind and thoughtful, but as time passed, he became insulting, belittling, and dismissive of my worries. The man I had fallen in love with showed his true self, and his behavior hurt me more with each passing day.
2. I begged him to be better to no avail
Despite my best efforts, our relationship's failure was not due to lack of trying on my part. I communicated my worries and grievances about his behavior, and he would occasionally promise to change, only to revert to his old ways. Whenever I brought it up again, he dismissed me as "naggy" or "high-maintenance." I hoped that the man I once knew would resurface, but that person was gone for good.
3. I finally decided I'd had enough
After months of waiting for him to improve, I finally called my ex-boyfriend to break things off. Initially, he didn't believe me, but as it sank in, he pleaded with me to reconsider. It was difficult to stick to my decision when he made promises about treating me better, but I knew deep down that he wouldn't change, not for me, at least.
4. I wanted him to find happiness, but not at another woman's expense
When I ended things with my ex-boyfriend, I was upfront about the reasons behind my decision. I listed everything out, and surprisingly, he listened and acknowledged his faults and shortcomings. While it was too late to fix things between us, our conversation gave me hope that he wasn't inherently a bad person, just someone with unresolved issues. I didn't want him to repeat our relationship's mistakes with someone else. I hoped that he would use the feedback I gave him to be a better partner to someone in the future.
5. He did exactly what I'd hoped
Following our breakup, my ex-boyfriend and I remained connected on social media. A few months later, I noticed photos of him with another girl. Soon after, he messaged me to express his gratitude for the wake-up call I had given him. He shared that he had done some soul-searching and was working hard to be a better partner to his new girlfriend. It was precisely what I had hoped for him, yet the feeling of it happening was bittersweet.
6. Part of me is really happy for them both
I can confidently say that I have no romantic feelings for my ex-boyfriend. Despite his poor treatment towards me during our relationship, I am genuinely happy that he has found happiness with someone else. From what I can see, he seems genuinely proud to be with his new girlfriend, and they appear to have a strong connection. It makes me happy to think that the lessons he learned from our relationship have helped him build a healthy and fulfilling connection with someone else.
7. I can't deny that I'm at least a little salty
To be honest, I can't say that my feelings towards my ex and his girlfriend are entirely positive. While I'm happy for them, I can't help but feel a tinge of bitterness. I spent so long trying to get my ex to do the small things he now does for his current girlfriend, like publicly acknowledging me as his girlfriend. Even though I would never consider getting back together with him, I still wish he had learned these lessons before we were together.
8. I know he wouldn't have treated her so well if I hadn't dumped him
I have come to accept that nothing I could have said while we were together would have convinced my ex-boyfriend to change his ways. It was only when I broke up with him that he realized he needed to be a better person to have a successful and healthy relationship. Whenever I feel resentment towards how things turned out, I remind myself of this fact.
9. I'm trying to see it as a learning experience for both of us
My breakup with my ex taught me that I should never tolerate that kind of treatment again, and I am now wiser for it. I believe that one day, I will find someone else and be a better partner and stronger person because of what my ex taught me. Despite feeling a little resentful that my ex didn't treat me the way he treats his current girlfriend, I know that our relationship, and its ending, served a valuable purpose for both of us.