My ex-partner lacked consideration, among other things. Although we eventually broke up for several reasons, I now realize that his inconsiderate behavior during our early dates was the most significant indicator of his jerkiness. He even turned one of our dates into a hangout session with his friends, which was not cool.
1. Something Felt Off Right From The Start
He called me earlier in the day to ask if we should meet at the restaurant or if he should pick me up. It struck me as odd since he had insisted on picking me up for our last date. Despite my doubts, I told him that it was fine to meet at the restaurant. We had only been dating for a few months, and I didn't want to appear too pushy or demanding.
2. He Rushed Through Our Dinner As Quickly As Possible
We went to a fancy restaurant, but he seemed uninterested. Looking back, I think this was when he started losing interest in our relationship. At the time, I refused to believe it. Instead, I kept attempting to engage him in conversation or to slow things down. He acted as if he had somewhere to be the whole time, but when I inquired, he assured me that he was delighted to be with me.
3. I Was Still Pretty Surprised When He Brought It Up
As we left the restaurant, he asked, "What do you want to do now?" When I suggested we go to either his place or mine, he appeared both surprised and disappointed. He then informed me that some of his friends were hanging out and that it would be great if we joined them. Seriously? Was he actually choosing hanging out with his friends over having sex with me? Yes, he was.
4. He Threw A Fit In Order To Get Me To Go
Instead of expressing my anger or hurt feelings, I calmly informed my boyfriend that I preferred to continue our date instead of hanging out with his friends. We had spent the entire week with them, so I thought it was reasonable. However, he did not agree with me and started acting childish. He complained that he never got to see them, which was not true, and that I had forced him to come on the date, which was also untrue. He even lied that one of his friends was leaving town soon. Despite feeling humiliated, I swallowed my pride and agreed to go along with his wishes.
5. We Went To His Friend's… Mom's House
Did I mention that my boyfriend's friends were hanging out at one of their mother's houses? Although they were a bit younger and still in college, it felt strange to me because my boyfriend and I had already graduated. The group was playing ping pong and drinking cheap beer in the garage, and the friend's mother even checked in on them at one point. I felt out of place and old, and I was the only girl there, as usual.
6. I Really Didn't Like His Friends To Begin With
By that time, I had gotten to know my boyfriend's friends well, and I always pretended to like them. However, deep down, I did not like them at all. Their extreme immaturity was difficult to overlook, and even for college guys, they were especially juvenile. Moreover, I struggled with their overt sexism, racism, and their general lack of empathy or concern for others. Once, I witnessed them boasting about looting a house after a fire had forced the family to find temporary shelter, and when I called them out on their actions, they didn't seem to understand why what they had done was wrong.
7. It Was Just A Regular Night For His Friends—nothing Special Was Going On
Just in case it was unclear, my boyfriend had fabricated a story about one of his friends leaving town. This was during the start of summer when nobody had any immediate plans to move away. Even one of his own friends remarked on how odd the situation was by asking, "Weren't you two supposed to be on a date?" when we arrived.
8. He Ignored Me When I Wanted To Go Home
As I approached my boyfriend after enduring over two hours of his excessive drinking of cheap beer, he appeared highly intoxicated, slurring his words noticeably. Some of his friends had already departed, but when I expressed my desire to leave, he completely ignored me and instead yelled at his friend for more beer. It was quite disappointing to witness his behavior and made me question why I was with him.
9. I Left On My Own
You won't believe it, but I stayed for another hour after that. When it finally became evident to me that my boyfriend didn't care whether or not I was there, I decided to leave. He was so inebriated that he didn't even notice, and just nodded in my direction when I repeated that I was leaving. Even though his house was much closer, I decided to go back to my place and try to sleep off my hurt feelings.
10. He Acted Shocked When He Found Out How Disappointed I Was In The Date
The next day, I woke up to multiple texts from my boyfriend asking why I "stormed off" when everyone else was "chilling and being cool." When I called him and discussed what happened, he expressed extreme surprise that I'd left and was disappointed in how our date had gone. According to him, he thought it was the perfect evening. If only I'd broken up with him right then and there.
