If you have noticed that he stopped complimenting you, this is for you. Most women don't know what it means when he doesn't compliment you. It might be that your boyfriend doesn't think he needs to compliment you as often as he once did.
He probably thinks he has said enough times how important you are to him. Additionally, he might be feeling that you already know how much he loves you. Heck, he might even think he's annoying you by constantly complimenting you.
Basically, there are many reasons he stopped complimenting you, and here, we will look into this and see what you can do to turn things around.
Should You Worry If He Stopped Complimenting You?
When I hear some people say it shouldn't matter whether he stopped complimenting you or not, I shake my head.
The rationale behind this is that all women who want compliments from their partners have secret self-esteem issues. That's why they need compliments to make them feel good. This is stupid on so many levels.
People who actually have problems with their self-esteem also have trouble accepting compliments. These are the people who are told they look good and then say they don't because they've gained weight. Such people cannot accept compliments because the positive statements contradict their own self-image.
A woman who desires compliments from her partner falls outside of this pattern. She does the exact opposite.
If he stopped complimenting you, it can eat away your self-esteem. So, if your man doesn't shower you with loving words once in a while, that is a serious problem.
The Reason He Stopped Complimenting You
As with all problems in life, you can either accept things as they are or do something to turn things around. If you want to change this situation, you need to know where the problem is in the first place.
Women often talk to their partners and tell them that they want compliments. The men then vow to get better.
Things go well for two weeks and then everything goes back to normal. Why? Because they didn't address the root cause of the problem.
If you cut off weeds, you'll have the same problem in two weeks, but if you rip them out by the roots, you'll have peace for a lot longer.
So you have to work out why he stopped complimenting you. Most of the time it is due to one of these 5 things…
1. He Never Learned How To Compliment You
Have you ever had a manager who did not speak if there was nothing to complain about? That's what happens when you work in a praise-poor environment.
If we grew up in a family that criticized rather than praised, we may never have learned to give compliments. We just don't notice praiseworthy things.
Take a close look at your in-laws and see if your partner just grew up with a completely different family culture from yours. Of course, if that's the case, that doesn't mean you have to settle for a life without compliments, but this will help you see the situation more fairly. At least you will know why he stopped complimenting you.
Then you can talk to him about your observations. Maybe he never noticed. However, now that he knows, he's open to being more generous with compliments. Self-awareness is an important first step toward improvement.
In the next step, however, you must of course set a good example. Show him how you want your family to treat compliments. In the end, everything in a relationship has to be negotiated. Nothing happens automatically.
2. He Stopped Complimenting You Because You Don't Handle It Well
We all hate to hear it, but most of our problems are our fault. It's very possible that he stopped complimenting you because you don't know how to handle compliments.
How do you react when you get a compliment? Are you happy (and showing it)? or are you more "modest"? That means: Do you relativize compliments?
When your partner tells you how beautiful your top is, do you then reply and say that the thing is very old and nothing special? When you get a compliment for your work, do you say that anyone could have done it better?
A man will stop complimenting you very quickly if he thinks you're uncomfortable with it.
Why would he praise your dress when it's just a reminder of how big you think your thighs are? He wants to make you happy. If he finds that compliments aren't helpful, he'll stop giving them.
So if he stopped complimenting you, first teach him that you like compliments. How are you supposed to do that? By rewarding him for every compliment.
The next time your husband compliments you (no matter what), appreciate it! Smile, say thank you, and tell him you're glad to hear that. Even if he says the yogurt you bought tastes good. Such little things make so much difference.
Once he has internalized that he can easily make you happy with every compliment, he will give you more compliments on his own.
3. He Stopped Complimenting You Because It's Not His Love Language
We humans have a habit of forming relationships with people who are very different from us. We always seem to be looking for what complements us. If you love hearing compliments, it's not unlikely that your partner doesn't care that much.
The problem with this: We show our partner our love in the way we would like to receive it ourselves.
Compliments are important to you, so you make it a priority to give your man compliments. However, your partner may be more of a man of action than of words. So maybe that is why he stopped complimenting you.
Depending on which language of love you speak, some gestures are more important to you than others. And we only feel loved when our partner speaks our love language.
If you care about words and he cares about affection, you both won't feel loved, even though you both try your hardest to show each other love.
So, maybe you don't have a problem at all, but you and your partner just speak different love languages. Learn each other's love language and find satisfaction in that.
4. He Stopped Complimenting You Because Your Mood Is Charged
It's normal for us to push ourselves harder and give compliments more generously at the beginning of a relationship. When you're newly in love, you think everything about the other person is so great anyway.
So it's not unusual for compliments to decrease over time. However, if he stopped complimenting you altogether, it can be a sign that something is missing.
When a relationship is plagued by criticism, it's hard to notice and address positive things. Then the compliments will disappear.
So feel free to ask yourself if you've been treating your husband unfairly lately. Our partner often only reflects our own behavior.
How nice have you been to him lately? You don't have to be malicious on purpose to treat him unfairly. If he still hasn't unloaded the damn dishwasher, it's understandable that you're irritated, but don't expect him to have very kind words for you when you are in that mood. He'll probably try to avoid you until you cool down.
The good news is that this problem can be fixed very quickly. In theory, you don't even have to criticize your partner less often. You just have to express the criticism differently.
Specific complaints are perfectly fine. How do you recognize a specific complaint? They are short. And they are precise.
Feel free to tell him he didn't empty the dishwasher, even though he promised he would. Then the topic is closed.
What is not okay is criticism that attacks his person. For example: "How difficult is it to empty the dishwasher? Can you do what you promise just once?" would lead straight to the compliment-free zone (and the next relationship crisis).
5. He Stopped Complimenting You Because He Doesn't Think About It
We all have the desire for that Disney relationship in which you are the greatest, the prettiest, and the only woman on this planet for your partner. But the reality is that he sees everything and can tell the difference between styled and unmade hair.
Also, you are most likely not the only one in your relationship who is experiencing a lot of stress. Your partner has a thousand things on his mind too.
So, while it's not okay that he stopped complimenting you, it's only human. The best way to change the situation is through the use of humor. Using humor, compliment yourself, and he will get what you want.
Just say with a smile, "Thank you, honey, I think I look gorgeous in that dress too." If it's said lovingly (rather than reproachfully), you'll both laugh at it and he'll validate you too.
But watch out: if things aren't going well in your relationship right now, anything you say can and will be used against you. Especially humor, because it's easy to misunderstand.
You can use humor as a kind of metric to analyze the state of your relationship. If the mood in your relationship is charged, your man will not laugh with you at such a statement, but he will feel offended instead.
When that happens, you know your relationship is going through a bit of a crisis you did not know about before. When the relationship gets better again, the compliments will come all by themselves.