He Did Not Want To Commit But I Stuck Around Anyway — What A Mistake


I was hopeful about a guy I met and saw a future with him. Despite his reluctance for a relationship, I decided to stay around, hoping he would change his mind. In hindsight, it was a terrible decision as it only led to disappointment and regret.

1. I Wanted Him To Be Something He Wasn't

I had this foolish idea that if I waited long enough, he would realize we were meant to be together. But the truth was, I was too infatuated with an idealized version of him to listen to what he was actually saying - he didn't want a relationship with me.

2. There's No Such Thing As "Not Ready"

Nowadays, if a guy tells me he's not ready for a relationship, I know better than to stick around. I've learned that this is usually just an excuse, and I refuse to wait around for someone who's not willing to commit. I realized that I deserve someone who's just as invested in me as I am in them.

3. He Went Out On A Limb… For Someone Else

Once I woke up to the reality that I couldn't wait around for this guy to choose me, I moved on. Nevertheless, we remained friends, and before long, I witnessed his sincere efforts to woo another woman he was seeing. Unlike with me, he didn't send her mixed signals, but rather worked hard to demonstrate his affection. It was a bitter pill to swallow, but a lesson I'll never forget.

4. When A Guy Wants Me, He'll Show It

Thanks to that guy, I now have a dating mantra. I don't want someone who gives me mixed signals or is hesitant to show their interest. I want someone who makes it clear that they want me and isn't afraid to demonstrate it. I won't settle for someone who talks about being afraid of a serious relationship or isn't ready for one. That's just a bunch of nonsense!

5. He Got What Was Convenient For Him

I came to the realization that the man I once called "Mr. Never Ready" was only sticking around and dating me casually because it suited him. While we didn't sleep together, he still got to have fun and companionship when he was in town without any strings attached. On the other hand, I was struggling internally, feeling the pain of being with him without any actual relationship expectations.

6. I Got Blinded By Hope

Hope can be a double-edged sword. I clung to it despite getting hurt. I believed the guy would eventually be ready for a relationship even after he said he wasn't ready "right now." He would become more charming and attentive whenever I started to pull away, leading me to believe that we could have something more. But it turned out to be just false hope, and we never ended up together.

7. I Waited For Him To Change

I realized that waiting for someone to change was foolish, and I should have changed myself instead. Even if he had chosen me, I wouldn't have been truly happy because I wanted him to want me from the start. Nowadays, I'm not willing to wait around if a guy doesn't make a real effort right from the beginning.

8. I Settled For An "Almost Relationship"

At times, it felt like we were in a committed relationship, and even our friends joked that we were perfect for each other. It was painful because I knew we were only casually dating, and it wasn't going to turn into anything more. I settled for this arrangement for four months, but I wouldn't do it again. I want a relationship that's either all in or not at all.

9. I Held Out For Him And Missed Other Opportunities

I used to be scared of missing out on a chance with a guy, so I stuck around even if it meant missing out on other opportunities. But what was the point? I was blocking any chance for romance just to be with someone who wasn't even sure he wanted me. It wasn't worth it.

10. I Tried To Be What He Wanted

I once thought that something must be wrong with me if a guy didn't want to be with me, so I tried to be the type of woman he had dated before. I put in so much effort to be carefree and fun-loving in the hope that he'd fall for me, but it was a waste of time for a guy who wasn't worth it. These days, I know I'm a catch, and I won't try to change myself for someone who doesn't appreciate me for who I am.

11. I Wasted My Time While He Made The Most Of His

I used to wait around for a guy like a naive Victorian woman, while he was out there dating other women and enjoying his life. I realize now that he wasn't waiting around for me, otherwise, he would have been with me. I won't make that mistake again. As I get older, I value every hour of my day and won't waste my time on someone who isn't worth it. It takes someone truly special to earn my time and attention.