He Did Not Like Me But I Tried To Change His Mind — Big Mistake

After meeting a guy on a dating app, I developed strong feelings for him. Despite being rejected, I was determined to win him over and believed I could change his mind. In hindsight, this was a mistake, and I now understand why it was a bad idea. Here are 15 reasons why I won't make the same mistake again.

1. He went from hot to cold

We conversed on a dating app for a few days before meeting up in person and spending a lot of time together. Initially, it seemed like a promising beginning, but here's the twist: we never actually went on a date. While he appeared interested in me initially, he never made a move to progress our relationship, leaving me feeling perplexed and quite exasperated.


2. I told him how I felt but it wasn't enough

In an attempt to avoid giving him the impression that I wasn't interested, I decided to share my true feelings with him. It turned out that while he had once felt the same way, his emotions had since dissipated. He now viewed me more as a friend than a potential girlfriend, leaving me feeling utterly confused and frustrated. What the heck?


3. I should've walked away but I didn't

In retrospect, it would have been best for me to accept the situation and move on. However, I chose to remain in his life, which is quite embarrassing to admit. I believed that he could change his mind about me over time since he had previously had feelings for me. I thought it was possible for him to fall for me again.


4. I got ahead of myself

I began brainstorming methods to make him like me again. I invested a lot of time and effort into my appearance, ensuring that I looked my best. I also invited him to the trendiest events in the hopes that we would have a good time and that it would lead to more between us (unfortunately, it did not). Additionally, I strived to be an excellent friend to him, hoping that he would recognize my potential as a girlfriend.


5. I didn't love myself enough to walk away

It was evident that I was putting in a lot of effort to win his affection, neglecting my own self-love in the process. If I had truly loved myself, I wouldn't have gone to such great lengths to pursue him. It was a pathetic and draining experience to expend so much energy and not receive anything in return.


6. I made excuses for him

I fell into the mental trap of believing that he would eventually come to his senses and recognize that we were a perfect match. However, that was wishful thinking, and it never came to fruition.

7. I wouldn't have been a good girlfriend anyway—Who was I kidding?

Strangely, making him date me became an issue of ego for me. Despite lacking self-love, I believed I would be an exceptional girlfriend for him. But, who did I think I was? Why should he like me if he didn't? My actions were egotistical and selfish because I was attempting to change someone who did not want to change.


8. My behavior actually pushed him away

Rather than bringing us closer, my efforts pushed him away, resulting in a strain on our friendship. He could probably sense that my intentions were to pursue a romantic relationship with him, which was a turn-off. Ugh.

9. I degraded myself

Although I wasn't explicitly begging him to stay, my actions conveyed a subtle version of that. By attempting to impress him by looking attractive, having an excellent personality, and engaging in his interests, I was implying that I didn't believe I deserved genuine love from someone who was interested in me. I had such low self-esteem that I stayed around waiting for a guy who had no interest in me. I was performing like a pathetic poodle, jumping through hoops to get his attention.


10. I became obsessed

This guy occupied so much of my thoughts that I became fixated on him. I constantly ruminated on his whereabouts, his thoughts of me, the meaning behind his words, and whether he was developing feelings for me. It was a toxic and unhealthy behavior, and I lost myself in the process.

11. It became a competition that only I was aware of

I became envious of the women who were able to date him and felt as though I was in a competition to win him over. As time went on, I began to question whether my feelings for him were genuine. It seemed as though it had become more about winning and achieving my desires.


12. He got with someone else in front of me

During a party, I witnessed him kissing another woman in front of me, and it shattered my heart. The pain was intense, and I felt humiliated for still holding onto someone who clearly didn't reciprocate my feelings. I had to snap out of it.

13. I'd been intrigued by his unavailability

There's something thrilling about a guy who seems just out of reach. I used to enjoy the chase and fantasize about ending up with him, but looking back, it's a bit sad. Instead of wasting my time pursuing someone who was unattainable to me, I should have focused on the fact that he was actually available to women he truly cared about. I was foolish to believe that I could somehow change him. The reality was right in front of me all along.


14. He was living it up—without me

Witnessing him kiss another woman made me realize that he was content with his life, while I was still struggling to come to terms with not having him. While he was out there enjoying his existence, I had put my life on hold for someone who had already turned me down. It's frustrating to think about.


15. Once love is dead, it's dead

I wished that I could have been an exception to the rule that love doesn't return once it's gone. The reason I held onto hope that he would eventually be with me was that he had feelings for me in the past. However, those feelings had vanished, and in my efforts to rekindle them, I was damaging my self-esteem. Nothing is worth sacrificing my worth as a person.