Having A Hot Boyfriend Destroyed My Self-Esteem And I'll Never Do It Again


Capturing a desirable man is often seen as a definitive achievement in the dating arena. However, from my own experience, dating an attractive man was a disappointment and harmed my self-confidence. Therefore, I am reluctant to repeat that experience in the future. Here's why.

1. My friends were all jealous in the worst way

When single and envious of others' romantic relationships, scoring a date with a handsome man can feel like the ultimate victory. However, the reality can be far less glamorous than imagined, especially when it comes to the reactions of others. Despite imagining admiration from other women, the actual response was often hostile and critical, with even my friends questioning my success and picking apart my relationship.

2. We didn't really look good together

Let me clarify, I'm confident in my appearance (I usually look great, thanks!), but there's a particular style that's often associated with dating a handsome man, and it's not one I possess. While I might feel comfortable in my combat boots and relaxed jeans, a hot guy seems to require a partner in heels and skinny jeans, which just isn't my thing. When we went out together, we looked like an odd match.

3. I never felt like I lived up to his hotness

I'm accustomed to relationships where the guy adores me (otherwise, what's the point?), so I assumed that dating a handsome man would be the same, just with a more appealing appearance. However, the truth was that I felt unhappy most of the time because I believed that I didn't meet the ideal level of attractiveness. Instead of enjoying my relationship, I spent more time trying to convince myself that I was good enough.

4. He was constantly in demand with other women

In my previous relationships, I felt secure enough to travel the world for a year or two, knowing that my boyfriends would wait for me, faithfully and patiently. However, with a handsome man, I lacked the confidence to leave his side even for a brief moment, for fear that he might attract attention from some opportunistic admirer. Constantly defending my territory was exhausting, and I would rather let someone else have him who is more deserving.

5. I was always second-guessing my self-worth

Although first impressions are often based on appearance, I believe that long-term relationships are founded on more substantial aspects. However, while dating a handsome man, it felt as though my personality and interests were irrelevant, and my worth was only judged based on my physical appearance. This perception damaged my self-esteem, particularly on days when my hair wasn't looking its best.

6. I constantly compared myself to his exes

Ex-envy is a common feeling (I hope it's not just me), but when I was in a relationship with a handsome man, this tendency went into full swing. As expected, my partner had a plethora of stunning exes, and I obsessively stalked each one on social media. They say that comparison is the thief of joy, and in this case, my happiness had no chance.

7. I forgot all my amazing qualities

I was so dazzled by the fact that someone so handsome was interested in me that I momentarily disregarded all my fantastic qualities. I'm an exceptional and considerate date who can make you laugh and treat you like royalty, but suddenly, it didn't seem like enough to impress him.

8. Those amazing qualities didn't seem to matter much to him anyway

Pardon the stereotype, but I'm not entirely convinced that handsome men have a great deal of intellectual substance. While I received compliments on my appearance regularly, my partner never appeared genuinely interested in anything I had to say, including my aspirations and concerns for the future. Being with a good-looking man was primarily about living in the moment and looking fantastic while doing so, so it's no surprise that our relationship was short-lived.

9. I became totally insecure

Believe it or not, I am usually completely relaxed in relationships. However, when I was with a handsome man, I became an insecure wreck. I was convinced that he believed I wasn't good enough for him, perpetually checking out other girls, and generally desired to terminate our relationship. Due to this, I acted possessive as hell, which was one of the factors that destroyed our relationship.

10. I would have been so much happier with an average guy

Although dating a handsome man may appear thrilling, it's significantly more stressful than one would anticipate. Next time, I'll spare myself the restless nights and pursue a boy who is average in appearance but head over heels in love with me. Besides, I'm confident that we'll look just as lovely in photos.