It's unclear if there ever was a time that could be considered the "good old days" of flirting, but we're certainly not living in them. While some guys know how to pursue a woman respectfully, too many have no clue and end up creating unpleasant situations. Am I the only one fed up with being hit on like this?
1. Catcalling
"I'd love to give oral to the guy who just yelled at me on my way to work," said no woman ever. Catcalling might be a display of manliness or dominance rather than an actual attempt at picking up women, but there are guys out there who expect women to be flattered by their pathetic excuses for compliments. I don't know any women who enjoy being whistled at like a dog, but the men who do it seem to believe they exist.
2. Leaving Weird Comments On Instagram Posts
Some guys treat girls' Instagram photos like a game of "I-Spy," except instead of finding hidden objects, they leave creepy comments. Post a picture of your cat sleeping on you, and a guy might comment that he "would do anything to be that cat right now." Get it? Because the cat is lying on top of you, and he wishes he could... yeah. I don't know what reaction these guys are expecting from these comments, but it's rarely what they're hoping for.
3. Telling Women To Smile
Feeling down? Lost in thought? Maybe you're just having a Resting Bitch Face moment? Well, for some men, that's simply not good enough. They feel the need to tell women to "Smile, baby," because they "look prettier when they're happy" or some other ridiculous excuse. While some may have good intentions, the vast majority of guys who tell women what to do with their faces seem to believe that this is an effective way to make a woman like you. Newsflash: it's not. Let us be our moody selves in peace.
4. Being Overly Touchy
Touching the person you're interested in can be a playful way to flirt, but only if done in moderation — like playfully squeezing their knee or hand. However, some guys take it way too far. They think it's cute to hold a stranger's hand while chatting casually on the bus or to run their hand up a woman's thigh on a first date. I don't know what kind of movies these guys are watching, but this is NOT a turn-on in real life.
5. Sending Sexual Text Messages
Online dating has made it easier for men to be creepy in casual conversations. How many women have opened their messages to find guys saying how badly they want to have sex with them, as if this is an appropriate way to speak to someone you've never met? These men are incredibly out of touch with reality, and it makes me wonder how many of them have ever actually spoken to a woman in real life. As amazing as online dating can be, it has also made it easier for men to be creepy.
6. Getting A Woman's Number From Someone Else
I had assumed that this kind of behavior ceased after middle school, but to my dismay, there are grown men who still believe it's acceptable to ask a woman's friends for her phone number instead of approaching her directly. It's even more problematic when they resort to shady tactics such as texting themselves from her phone while she's away for a brief moment. While I understand that approaching someone you're attracted to can be daunting, if you want to engage in a mature relationship with me, you need to act like an adult.
7. Negging
Fortunately, this "technique" is typically employed by clueless guys who rely on pick-up artist podcasts to learn how to attract women, but it's hard to fathom that it's still a thing. The strategy involves giving a woman a backhanded compliment ("Not many women your size could pull off that outfit, but it looks sexy on you!"), which makes her feel less confident, vulnerable, and eager for his approval, and then the guy gets to have sex with the woman he essentially insulted. How logical! This is, without a doubt, one of the most foolish approaches ever created to attract women, but many men still attempt it on real women.
8. Sending Penis Pictures
Please repeat after me: Women have no interest in seeing your penis. Despite your desire to receive breast photos from every woman in your contact list, you believe women want to see low-resolution pictures of penises, but you are incorrect. I have yet to meet a single woman who finds pictures of penises even remotely enticing, but almost every woman I know has received at least one unsolicited penis picture. It's not alluring, it's not charming, and it's not appealing in any way. We don't want anything to do with it.
9. "Complimenting" A Woman's Boobs Or Butt
It's hard to understand why a man would compliment a woman he's never met by saying she has a "great rack," only to defend it as a compliment. The thing is, this doesn't make the woman feel good, it makes her feel dirty. We know you appreciate our bodies, but it's time to be more imaginative and less creepy if your aim is truly to pay us a compliment.
10. Vaguebooking
Posting vague status updates about "a certain someone" is something we thought was left behind in middle school, but some guys still do it as adults. It's not always passive-aggressive; sometimes you'll come across That Guy who posts cryptic messages about a mystery girl for all his online friends to see. He'll write things like, "Someday you'll realize the guy you've been waiting for has been right in front of you this whole time. You know who you are. ;)". Little does he know that the girl he's referring to has no clue who he's talking about.
11. Sending A Bunch Of Unanswered Messages
While it may be more polite and straightforward to tell a guy you're not interested, sometimes not responding is also a clear signal. But some men don't seem to get the hint. They'll keep sending messages, saying "hi" and "hey," and filling up a woman's inbox even after she hasn't responded to their first fifty messages. It's not only a bad way to get her attention, it's also just plain annoying. Basic social skills should tell you to stop after the first couple of messages, but some guys won't give up on pursuing their dream woman.
12. Professing Undying Love To A Woman They Just Met
Disney movies may have perpetuated the idea of a prince and princess falling in love after just one day, but if a guy tells me I'm his soulmate after one date, I'm out. While some believe that coming on too strong is a way to win a woman's heart, it often has the opposite effect. Though it might work on someone desperate for love, most women will flee at the first sign of this behavior.
13. Playing Hard-To-Get
There's a difference between being a bad texter and purposely waiting several days to respond to someone's messages just to play mind games. He may believe he's not appearing too eager, but he's really conveying that he doesn't value your time. Unfortunately, many women have experienced this type of behavior before and won't fall for it. By the time this guy decides to respond, we've already moved on.
