I empathize with men at times because we often create situations where they cannot meet our expectations. We pose seemingly straightforward questions to them, although we are aware that these questions carry underlying meanings. When they fail to respond appropriately, we become upset. However, we shouldn't be surprised by their responses. To assist those who are struggling, here's some guidance on answering these questions.
Tips For Fostering Better Communication With Women
1. Accept that women communicate differently
Both men and women have different communication styles, and one isn't necessarily superior to the other. Men tend to focus on solving problems, and communication is a tool to achieve that goal. On the other hand, women value emotional connection and prioritize exploring and sharing emotions through conversation. Recognizing these differences can help find common ground. Women often ask questions to seek reassurance from men, so it would be helpful if men could reciprocate occasionally.
2. Tune into your feelings
Men are often encouraged not to delve too deeply into their emotions, whereas women tend to be more naturally emotional. However, tapping into this side of oneself can lead to better communication and responding with kindness, which is crucial in any relationship. According to Dallas Hartwig, author and Whole30 founder, kindness is a necessary aspect of relationships, and it's not a sign of weakness or submission. Men could benefit from asking themselves questions about their emotions to become more in tune with them before engaging in deep conversations with women.
3. Learn how to be a good listener
Women often seek someone to listen to them, and it can be frustrating when men tune us out or fail to absorb what we say. Therefore, developing excellent listening skills is crucial. Connell Barrett suggests that men should refrain from providing solutions until women feel heard, ask empathetic questions, and convey understanding. Implementing these simple strategies can make a significant difference.
4. Don't try to fix things
Guys, we implore you not to give unsolicited advice or solutions to women unless they directly ask for it. It's not that women don't appreciate your assistance, but if they haven't requested it, they don't want it at that moment. They likely just want to vent and release their frustrations, and you can support them by utilizing the listening skills we previously mentioned.
5. Tap into the subtext
When women ask questions, we often mean something different from what we say. That's why having the ability to read subtext is advantageous. Jor-El Caraballo, a relationship therapist, uses the question "Does this make me look fat?" as an example. He suggests responding with, "Are you genuinely asking me if you look fat, or are you looking for a different answer?" if it happens frequently. Chances are, she might want to feel seen and attractive in that moment, and you wouldn't know that without asking a more direct question.
Keeping that in mind, here are some other common questions that guys are asked, along with some recommendations for when you're having trouble finding an answer.
How To Answer These 10 Questions Women Ask Guys
1. "Does this make me look fat?"
It's a classic question that often catches us off guard. A guy's initial reaction might be, "Why doesn't she just check herself out in the mirror?" However, when a woman asks this question, she's likely fond of the outfit but worried it might accentuate the wrong curves. Responding with a simple "yes" is not the way to go. Instead, opt for a clear "no" or something similar. If the outfit truly doesn't suit her, you can still compliment her appearance while gently suggesting another outfit that you know she likes. This will show that you're paying attention and divert her attention away from her initial worry.
2. "Do you think she's prettier/hotter than me?"
It's a common question that guys dread, and the answer is always a resounding "no". If you're caught looking at another woman, don't panic. Simply tell your partner that you were admiring her beauty and thinking about how lucky you are to have her, and that no other woman can compare. It may not be entirely truthful, but it's a way to smooth things over and show your appreciation for her.
3. "am i like my mother?"
This is a tricky question that requires some careful consideration. Your answer should depend on whether she has a positive or negative view of her mother. If the answer is negative, then the obvious response is "no". However, if she admires her mother and wants to emulate her, then the correct answer is "yes". Take a moment to think before answering, but don't hesitate too long. Out of all the questions on this list, this one should be manageable if you handle it well.
4. "What are you thinking?"
Interestingly, I've had more guys ask me this question than the other way around. When she asks, it can be a deer-in-the-headlights moment, and you might struggle to come up with a response. Unless you're thinking something negative (which you shouldn't be), honesty is the best policy. If she doesn't like your answer, she may stop asking altogether. However, it could also be an opportunity to show off your fun and goofy side. Men aren't always forthcoming, so she might ask questions to try to get to know you better.
5. "What don't you like about me?"
This is a tricky question that often arises before or during an argument. Avoid the temptation to list all her faults, as it will only make things worse. My suggestion is to either decline to answer or give her a compliment. One of the best responses I've heard (yes, I made the mistake of asking this too) is: "You're perfect to me, and I love everything about you." This answer is sweet and puts the ball back in her court. If she argues with it, she'll come across as the unreasonable one.
6. "How do I look?"
This question is relatively easy to answer. The key is to make sure you give her your full attention and actually look at her before responding. Simply saying "Great!" while you're distracted with something else won't cut it. Take a few seconds to give her a thorough up-and-down glance and tell her she looks hot. And, it wouldn't hurt to use more than just a few words from time to time.
7. "Did you notice anything different?"
Get ready to enter the panic zone. We can see the fear in your eyes as you try to take in every detail at once. We enjoy watching you squirm, and we also expect you to notice what's different. I'm sorry to say, but there's only one correct answer. Guys, you should notice the difference and answer these questions accurately.
8. "are you listening to me?"
There are only two correct answers to this question. A) Say yes and be able to repeat her last few sentences to prove it. B) Say no, but have a compelling reason why you weren't paying attention. Most of the time, the answer should be A. If this is a question you get asked frequently, guys, it's time to make some changes.
9. "Do you like my friends/family?"
We all hope our partners will adore our friends and family, but sometimes that's not the case. I suggest being honest without being impolite. Responding with "Hell no" is not an acceptable answer. Just say that you like them, but you don't have much in common. We understand the unspoken message, and that's alright. When we ask guys about the important people in our lives, we expect them to show some support in return.
10. "where is this going?"
Among all the questions that women ask, this one may be the one that guys fear the most (or eagerly anticipate, depending on the situation). Congratulations, your partner is ready for the next level. But are you? Don't lie when answering this question; it will only cause problems later on. Be truthful. If you're not prepared to move in or get married, explain why. She'll either accept it or not. Regardless, don't give her false hope.