It's an unfortunate truth that in the realm of love, there are occasions when the person we're interested in feels the same way but lacks the motivation to pursue it further. Despite entering into a quasi-relationship, we may hold onto the hope that it will evolve into an official one, yet it never does. To all the guys out there, it's not cool to express a desire for a girlfriend and then fail to make any real effort. Here's why:
1. You're not being cute
Being overly casual and vague about your feelings may seem cute to you, but it's actually seen as immature and unappealing. No one is attracted to that. If you're uncertain about what you want but still want to explore possibilities, communicate that from the beginning. We'll let you know if we're on board with that or if we need more clarity.
2. Relationships take work
It's perfectly acceptable that relationships don't simply materialize out of nowhere. Just like anything else in life, it takes effort and dedication to make them work. Despite the challenges, love is undoubtedly worth it in the long run. However, if you're not prepared to invest, you'll remain single indefinitely. This isn't to suggest that it will be difficult every day, but it does require more than minimal effort if you genuinely want to create a meaningful connection.
3. You're the problem
Men often claim that they want to experience love, but accuse us of making it challenging for them. They argue that we have unrealistic expectations, are overly materialistic, and demand changes from them. In reality, we don't desire any of those things. If you subscribe to this way of thinking, then the issue lies with you. All we want is for men who express a desire for love to back up their words with actions. It's not an unreasonable request.
4. You can't have things your way
It's not acceptable to text us excessively one day and then ignore us for a week. You can't simply choose when you want to communicate with us and spend time together. If you can't adjust your behavior, you'll never have a genuine girlfriend. Love requires give and take, as well as consistency. Of course, we don't need to be in constant contact or always by your side (in fact, we probably wouldn't want that because we have our own lives too!), but if we're meant to be together or even have a remote interest in doing so, we must meet each other halfway.
5. You won't win in the end
Believing that playing hard to get will eventually win us over due to your charm and charisma is a misguided notion, and in the end, you will be the one losing out. To truly love someone, you must be willing to adjust your lifestyle. That's just how it works. If you continue to behave as if you're single, you'll remain that way. It's as simple as that.
6. You're going to miss out
If you continue to refuse to try or put any effort into our relationship, you may miss the opportunity to be with us. We've had this conversation before, and it's not something we can go through again. It's unfortunate that you prioritize being the "cool guy" over having a genuine relationship and may not even realize what you're missing out on.
7. We know that you're really just afraid
Your fears and worries are transparent to us, and we don't accept them as a valid excuse. The reality is that we all have concerns about opening our hearts to someone new and risking potential disappointment. However, we take that risk because we believe the reward is worth it. If you don't understand that, then you don't understand us, and we can't assist you.
8. You're in the wrong
You may claim that you desire a relationship, but if you don't appreciate the importance of investing time and effort, then you're entirely in the wrong. You fail to comprehend that love is a mutually beneficial partnership, and you can't enjoy the perks of having a girlfriend without fulfilling the role of a boyfriend.
9. You need to act your age
You were expected to mature a long time ago, but it appears that you haven't. While we enjoyed our casual relationship, we're now searching for a genuine connection that could endure. We're not youngsters anymore, and we expect you to behave accordingly.
10. We can't do the work for you
No one can compel you to change; it's something you must desire on your own. Maybe your attitude has worked in the past, but it won't work with everyone, so don't be deceived. We're more astute than you realize and can differentiate between genuine potential boyfriends and losers. Until you fulfill that potential, you won't receive anything from us.