You’ve spent yet another sleepless night tossing and turning after you cried yourself to exhaustion last night. You’re probably wondering when he’ll grow up and see you for the gem you really are. When did things go from a great first date and adventurous surprises to this mess?

I’m talking to the woman you see staring back at you when you look in the mirror and the little girl inside you that dreamt of marrying a prince. Girl, it’s time to move on. Move on from the perfect relationship he’s promised once he’s got that promotion at work, that car, that dream house. Most definitely move on from the mess you’re in right now.

I get it! You feel like your life would be a mess without him, your mum adores him and your friends think he’s “The One”. Trust me, your life can only go from a toxic mess to a happy mess just pick your mess and roll with it. Who cares about the rest? You should be out here living your best life. Instead, you’re stuck in a relationship with a man that doesn’t give you his all.

Love is magical when you’re with someone that appreciates you, helps you build your goals and sees a future with you. If you’re not getting as much as you’re giving it’s time to move away. Moving on doesn’t necessarily mean jumping from one man’s arms into the next open arms. That’s how you create a cycle of dysfunctional relationships. Moving on involves getting away from a toxic situation and finding yourself again.

Choose you.

After a long time of choosing his needs over yours, it’s time to choose you! Amidst the chaos, take a moment and find yourself. Focus on the things that allow you to thrive and make you happy. Dress up and hit that new restaurant you’ve been asking him to try out with you. Book that getaway he keeps postponing and enjoy you. Call your girls and enjoy a night out in the city. You are enough! If he doesn’t see that at least you see it.

Belong to yourself before you can belong to anyone else.

You’re probably thinking that’s a cliché. The thing about clichés is that they are always true. Summon yourself and understand what you love, your goals, what you can’t tolerate and most importantly build on loving yourself and the peace that surrounds it.  Once you make loving yourself a priority getting away from a terrible relationship becomes easier.

Single at 30 is just as good as married at 30.

Stop holding on to a toxic relationship because you’re scared you won’t meet someone new soon enough. Love has no timeline. When the right man comes along it won’t matter whether you’re 30 or 50. No one is really counting despite your mother’s sly remarks over the holidays. Take your time to find the right person. If you know he’s not the one, walk away and enjoy singlehood before someone sweeps you off your feet for real this time.

Moving on is hard. It’s hard to walk away from someone you love and envisioned forever with. The truth is it’s going to take more than just a couple of days, months even. At the end of the day, you have to remember you’re making the right choice for yourself.

Screw bitterness!

You can’t live your best life when you’re full of bitterness. Forgive your ex. He’s not the evil villain you want to paint him as. He’s probably still figuring life out. Aren’t we all?