When a loved one requires assistance, the desire to alleviate their pain, correct errors, and repair what is broken is difficult to resist. The impulse is not exclusive to either gender, as it manifests in distinct ways for each person. It is known as the Savior Complex, a conviction that you possess the ability to improve the situation when an individual who is damaged, broken, or toxic enters your life. Despite entering the situation with optimism, the likelihood of succeeding and achieving a happily-ever-after is not in your favor.
1. The Toxicity Wears On You After A While
Is it possible for your partner's attitudes and issues to not have a negative impact on you? Even if they are not intentionally toxic or causing visible harm, their behavior can still gradually take a toll on you. It's important to recognize that not everyone who is struggling emotionally is toxic, and there may be valid reasons for wanting to help someone heal. However, when trying to help someone who is emotionally stunted or damaged, it's common to experience a lot of negativity.
2. You Can't Change Someone Who Doesn't Want To Change
It's a straightforward and clear fact. Without the desire to change, a person will not change. It's important to realize that your partner won't change solely for the sake of the relationship, even if they express a willingness to do so. No amount of assistance, criticism, intervention, or repair attempts will produce the desired results unless the motivation to change comes from within.
3. What Happens If S/he Doesn't Think There's Anything Wrong?
There is always a chance of this happening. What if you are attempting to rescue someone from a situation that they don't perceive as an issue? In this scenario, you are dedicating your time and energy to a person who is indifferent to your efforts.
4. You're A Superwoman, But You're Not A Superhero
Certain individuals are worth rescuing, and some desire to be cared for. Some individuals require it as well. However, some people have a plethora of problems that are too much for one person to handle, and it's crucial to recognize this. You are an exceptional and powerful individual, capable of shouldering a lot of responsibility, but you do not need to shoulder everything. Remember to prioritize your own well-being and not take on more than you can handle.
5. Your Time Is Better Spent On Yourself
You are a far more suitable recipient for your valuable time and energy. Rather than focusing on someone who is unresponsive, concentrate on improving yourself. It is far more rewarding to work on self-improvement than to attempt to impose change on someone who is unwilling.
6. It's Not Your Job To Save Everyone
Consider the possibility that you may be fulfilling the role of a savior for this person indefinitely. Is love truly powerful enough to justify this? Will no one else ever require even a small amount of your time and attention? You are entitled to a partnership in which you have an equal partner, rather than someone you must support throughout your life. While it is acceptable to assist the individuals you care about, it is not your responsibility to do all the work for them.
7. Some People Don't Want To Be Saved, Anyway
Even if individuals recognize that something is amiss with them, they may not be concerned about it. They may be content with themselves just as they are, which is excellent for them. However, it may not be as beneficial for you. The responsibility for change or salvation rests solely with the individual themselves.
8. You May Simply Turn Into An Enabler
This initiates a destructive cycle of co-dependency that can rapidly take hold and be difficult to break free from. It's best to avoid going down this path. Attempting to rescue someone who doesn't want to be saved is a critical juncture that you should avoid. Instead, choose a different direction, as there is nothing beneficial down this path.
9. A Parasitic Relationship Is The Inevitable Result
Your partner will drain all of your resources, energy, love, and passion. This draining process will not cease until you are left with nothing to offer.
10. You'll Never Get Back As Much As You Put Into The Relationship
You will continue to give, but what will you gain in return? Ultimately, you are the only one who can determine if an individual in your life is worth rescuing, willing to be saved, and willing to be rescued by you specifically. Do not squander your time, empathy, or love on individuals who will never be capable of reciprocating even a portion of what you provide.