Funny Quotes About Nudity

It seems they have funny quotes for everything these days, which is why we have funny quotes about nudity. So, here’s a special collection of bare skin quotes, being shirtless quotes, and a few dirty quotes illuminating on the topic of human nudity.

Heck, some of these quotes are essentially beauty quotes, but with a funny side.

1. Funny Quotes About Nudity

Funny Quotes About Nudity

“I just want you to be happy. And naked”

“It’s not true that I had nothing on. I had the radio on.” Marilyn Monroe

“When I go to a nude beach, I always take a ruler, just in case I have to prove something.” – Rodney Dangerfield

“People who walk around in the rain naked don’t get wet: they get washed.” – Hone Tuwhare

2. Quotes About Undressing

Funny Quotes About Nudity

“But even the President of the United States sometimes must have to stand naked.” – Bob Dylan

“You can think clearly only with your clothes on.”

“If a turtle doesn’t have a shell, is he homeless or naked?”

3. Female Body Quotes

Funny Quotes About Nudity

“Women want to learn. Men think, ‘I know what I’m doing, just show me somebody naked.” – Jerry Seinfeld

 “The nakedness of woman is the work of God.” – William Blake

“A naked woman in heels is a beautiful thing. A naked man in shoes looks like a fool.” – Christian Louboutin

4. Celebrity Quotes On Nudity

Funny Quotes About Nudity

“Nudity is the costume of lovers and corpses.” – Mason Cooley

“Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.” – Mark Twain

“The body is meant to be seen, not all covered up.” – Marilyn Monroe

“We seem okay with violence, but nudity we race to criticize and censor.” – Eva Mendes

“I just love being as naked as possible all the time. It feels really natural to me.” – Adam Levine

“At this point, the crew is so bored by seeing me naked because it happens so much. At first, there was like mild titillation, and now it’s just like big ol’ Italian guys checking their iPhones, acting like there isn’t a pair of live breasts in the room.” – Lena Dunham

“You get your penis out once, and everyone expects it in the rest of your movies.” – Jason Segel

“I feel the sexiest when I’m by myself, walking around nude. I have this new obsession with nudity, it’s really weird. It may sound weird, but I just really love embracing the body.” – Ciara

“Nudity quickly becomes unremarkable when generally practiced.” – Martha C. Nussbaum

“My parents were free about nudity, and we are too. I’d like our children to feel unashamed of whatever shape they are. People should worry about other things.” – Heidi Klum

“I used to love being naked. My parents would have to dress me because I’d just run around the supermarket and take off all my clothes. It was fun. Freedom. Liberation!” – Cara Delevigne

“If the world wouldn’t persecute me, I’d take nude pictures every day of the week.” Halle Berry

 “When I was growing up, in our house nudity was defined as the period of time between the shower and your towel.” – Amy Cohen

5. Nudity Quotes/Naked Quotes

Funny Quotes About Nudity

“The best contraceptive for old people is nudity.” – Phyllis Diller

 “My wife was afraid of the dark… then she saw me naked and now she’s afraid of the light.”

“A man who can’t eat dinner naked on a leather couch is little better than a slave.” – Josh Ozersky

“Style begins by looking good naked.” Oscar de la Renta

I have seen three emperors in their nakedness, and the sight was not inspiring.  – Otto von Bismarck.

“Civilization: a scheme to hide nakedness.” – Marty Rubin

6. Nudity Sayings

Funny Quotes About Nudity

“What is beauty but naked unashamed of itself?” – Marty Rubin

“When I was growing up, in our house nudity was defined as the period of time between the shower and your towel.” ― Amy Cohen

“Nudity is not vulgar, else we were not born nude. ”   -Anuup Kamal Agrawal

That does it for this short collection of nakedness quotes. I guess we learn something new every day.