A natural expectation of life is for it to be a fair, love-makes-the-world-go-round, Golden Gates experience where people generally respect each other’s wants and needs.
As we all come to experience, unless you’re somehow supremely sheltered and coddled, is that it doesn’t work that way. You work for minimal return, people use then usually abuse your love and/or trust, and things rarely, if ever, go your way.
Through whatever misfortunes you have tumbled through, you come to realize there are some things you must let go of to make it in a world that is so willing to let you become the road others tread all over. In your attempts to make the world a better place for yourself and others, you have fallen victim to the tribulations you tried to avoid.
Unfortunately, these are some of the fucks you have to stop giving if you want to attempt to make your existence less like the hell you’ve experienced and more like the life you used to dream of:
1. What others think & what you think of others
Caring about what Becky and John think of you only serves to make you subconsciously serve them, rather than yourself, in the day-to-day. Likewise, focusing on what you think of them traps you in a similar mindset where you are focusing on what they do more than what you should be doing. Worrying about gossip, whether it’s about you or others, takes your focus away from what can better you, therefore making your days better.
2. Being Right All of the Time
Seriously? You know you fuck up as much as whoever or whatever you’re asserting yourself against. Stop worrying about being right all the time. If you don’t know something, learn. You’ll be better for it. Let it go.
3. Having the perfect appearance
You will always find a flaw. There is no such thing as a perfect body, outfit, hairstyle, or whatever you are insecure about today. There is not one person in this world that has an unflawed view of themselves; even the person you most admire will eventually find something they hate about their appearance after they start their day. So, knowing this, go out, kick-ass, and love yourself daily.
4. Toxic people
Guard yourself against those that cause you unnecessary stress. Better yet, leave them. Realize that you only need yourself and those that enrich your life, those you would truly choose to have.
5. The past & failures
The past is the past, which includes what you may not have won. It may not have left your mind, but it most certainly has left your time. You do not have to forgive or forget but focus on where you should go from here.
6. Whether you’re ‘enough’
Stop waiting for validation. That’s when you lose your validity because you aren’t looking at yourself as a person. You are enough, and you do not need anyone’s approval but your own; once you realize that, you’ll have your own.
7. What you have
Material possessions don’t matter when you know how to make the most of what you have. They feel great, but everything ends up ‘old’ one day. Their happiness is fleeting, so learn how to build a memorable and happy life.
In the end, nothing else matters except you. Don’t worry about the “what-ifs.” Assess what you have, focus on what you want, and go after it knowing you’re more than enough to accomplish everything you desire.
When you stop caring about the uncertainties, others more than yourself, and all the little trials you know, by now, how to conquer and look fantastic while you do it— well, that’s when you become the mature, beautiful being you’ve always wanted to be.