Ex-sex worker Samantha X shares insights on why she believes married men cheat and what they seek when choosing to remain unfaithful.
In her statement, Samantha, who clarified that she is neither a psychologist nor a wife, expressed:
"I know why husbands cheat, I know what they secretly desire and I know what goes on in their minds."
"If there's one thing married men taught me, it was not to get married. If you wanted to ruin a great relationship, walk down the aisle."
As per information on her website, Samantha, also known as Amanda Goff, had a background as a tabloid journalist in London. In 2000, she relocated to Sydney and pursued a career in television and magazines.
Reflecting on her experiences, she shared on her website: "Then at 37, after two kids and separation, I completely changed my life."
"I walked out of my nine-to-five and became Australia's most high-profile escort Samantha X."
"I wrote two best-selling books and was the focus of constant media attention, gaining fans and critics worldwide."
"I am a best-selling author, journalist, former escort, business owner and coach."
"I hold a certificate in NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming) and am a regular media personality."
Prior to discussing the reasons, Samantha emphasizes that the primary motivation for men seeking escorts is the desire for connection.
According to Samantha, this type of infidelity is not primarily driven by sexual desires, despite what it may seem like on the surface.
"As an escort, I didn't swing from chandeliers or go to secret dungeon sex clubs (disappointing, I know)."
"The service that was requested most was the girlfriend experience – and that meant listening, supporting, and guiding," the columnist shared.
However, Samantha makes it clear with a disclaimer that these reasons don't apply to all men or marriages, and it's never the fault of the person being cheated on.
Nevertheless, she proceeds to outline the reasons she believes lead men to engage with sex workers.
Someone To Talk To
Samantha explains that men sometimes hesitate to share their concerns with their partners because they fear it could burden them with excessive stress. When asked why they haven't sought counseling, they've told her, "I don't want to be judged."
Instead of confiding in their loved ones or seeking professional help, some men opt to see an escort as an alternative way to express their emotions.
Contrary to the stereotype that men tend to keep their feelings bottled up, Samantha believes that men actually enjoy talking.
She states: "They are emotional and extremely vulnerable. They tell me they're too scared to be vulnerable at home, and instead feel they need to be the 'strong one'."
They Miss Foreplay
"You don't have to tell me that sex is the last thing on your mind when you're married — I get it. I'd rather have a cup of tea these days and I'm supposed to be a lady of fun."
"There's a lot to be said for the two-minute quickie."
"Men secretly want to spend hours in bed with you, but say they got tired of being rejected."
"They miss the foreplay (pleasuring you instead of the other way around) and they don't always want it all to be over before you can say "hand me the TV controls, MAFS is on."
They Know You Have Cheated Before
While it may be tempting to attribute blame solely to men for this kind of infidelity, Samantha argues that they are not always the ones being unfaithful; rather, they are often the ones who get caught.
Samantha shares a couple of examples to illustrate her point. In one instance, a man in his fifties spent two hours sitting on the bed, expressing his sadness as his wife had recently left him for her personal trainer.
In another case, a man revealed that his wife had abandoned him and their children, leaving him clueless about basic tasks like boiling an egg.
"While a wife may turn a blind eye to her husband's slip up, men won't. Their ego won't allow it. If they stay (and men rarely leave), they will see that as a green light to do what they want so you are 'quits'," she shares.
According to Samantha, the key insight she wants to highlight is that men who engage with sex workers still love their partners, and in most cases, they don't want to end their relationship. This information is crucial to understand, based on her insider knowledge.
"They don't want to leave you for another woman and they most certainly don't want to run off with an escort (and no escort in the history of this earth would ever want to run off with your husband either – that's like taking your work home with you). Men are like puppies that chew your shoes, they just can't help themselves."