"Fixer-Upper" Guys May Seem Tempting, But They Are Not Worth The Trouble


In the realm of dating, the odds are that you'll encounter more unsuitable partners than compatible ones. Some may come across as inconsiderate, while others might be amiable but not quite right for you. Then there are the so-called "fixer-upper" types, who possess some admirable traits but also have significant flaws that you feel compelled to help them overcome with your time and energy. However, the reality is that such individuals aren't prepared for a committed relationship, making it unwise to invest your time in them.

1. He just got out of a serious relationship/marriage

We've all been in that position, and we understand how painful it is, which is why we may sympathize with the guy and consider giving him a chance. However, as much as it hurts to feel unsympathetic, it's best to avoid getting involved with him. He may unintentionally use you as a replacement for his ex, whom he still thinks about daily and probably still contacts late at night when intoxicated. He needs to take time to heal from his previous relationship before pursuing a new one, and you can use this insight to protect yourself from future heartache.

2. He's a mama's boy who's never been on his own

Despite having the financial means to do so, he still lives with his mother because he can't bear the idea of being apart from her. Moreover, she still prepares all of his meals and does his laundry. While it may seem endearing how much he cares for his mom, guys like him pose a challenge for independent women because they lack the same level of self-sufficiency and don't aspire to be independent. If you become seriously involved with him, you'll face two choices: either move in with his mother and abide by her rules or encourage him to move out, only to become his new caregiver because he can't look after himself (neither scenario sounds desirable).

3. He has no career goals

While it's acceptable for him to work at Wal-Mart or a pizza shop to make ends meet while studying or between jobs, it's crucial that he has a career plan for the future. This is especially critical if you're considering starting a family later on because raising children is expensive. Moreover, it's disheartening to hear him complain about his job every day while knowing that he refuses to search for one that he finds fulfilling. It's essential to find a partner who is as driven and career-oriented as you are.

4. He's completely unrealistic about the kind of woman he wants

Despite his physical attributes, such as being 5'6", balding, and somewhat overweight, he believes that his future spouse must be at least 5'10", with naturally blonde hair and blue eyes, an avid fan of his favorite sports team, and a devoted follower of his religion. Even if he's charming, kind-hearted, and shares your interests, it's best to move on if you don't fit his checklist criteria, or even if you do.

5. He's too young to be serious

Age plays a crucial role in long-term relationships as it often indicates maturity and influences a man's desire to settle down. If you're in your 30s and he's only in his early 20s, he may be fun as a fling, but don't become too attached if you're seeking a family soon. Anyone below 25 is still developing, and even guys aged 25-30 may still require work, making it best to pass and find someone more stable and established.

6. He's in jail/prison or has been there for a serious crime

As women, we have an innate desire to empathize with others and focus on their positive traits rather than their shortcomings. This quality makes us endearing, but it can also make us foolish. However, if a man has committed a crime significant enough to land him in prison for more than a night, it's likely that he has problems that you can't solve. There may be some exceptions to this, such as unjust laws, but in most cases, it holds true.

7. He's got an addiction to drugs/alcohol

Addiction is a disease that takes precedence over everything else for those who suffer from it. Even if a man is charming, humorous, compassionate, ambitious, and shares the same goals as you, his drug addiction will always take precedence over you, and he cannot control it. If he's currently struggling with addiction and using, it's best to avoid him because he is incapable of putting you before his addiction.

8. He's terrified of commitment

Commitment-phobia is a prevalent issue these days, and even if a guy ticks all the boxes on your checklist, it's essential to heed his warning if he confesses he's not interested in settling down. Commitment-phobic men are truthful about their intentions, and they're unlikely to change. Don't delude yourself into thinking you'll be the one to magically transform him into a settled partner, as it will only lead to heartbreak. It's best to save yourself from the agony and move on.

9. He's a narcissist

Narcissists can appear irresistible at times because of their infectious confidence. But sooner or later, you'll discover that he'd rather spend two hours at the gym than have coffee with you or admire himself in the mirror rather than appreciate your beauty in person. This guy prioritizes himself over you, not in a healthy way, but in a self-centered manner that makes you feel worthless. It's better to avoid narcissists and protect yourself from hurt.

10. He's a workaholic

Having career aspirations is admirable, but being a workaholic is not. Work-life balance is crucial, and if he works 80+ hours a week by choice, even if he's an excellent guy, he's not suitable for a serious relationship. You'll be left with a relationship with his voicemail and a mountain of dirty laundry.

11. He has a bad temper

A bad temper is a significant red flag, even if the guy is perfect in every other way. It's a terrible omen for the future. Although he may be kind and respectful during the honeymoon phase, his temper will reveal itself when he's comfortable, and it'll be frightening. Verbal abuse is neither fun nor acceptable, so it's better to take a step back and run for the hills.