One of the things that need to be unlearned by women in society is the pervading message that we are implicitly in competition with each other. Women! This isn't true!
One person's success is not the failure of another or the soaking up of success that would have otherwise been available for you. We can succeed independently of other people's triumphs, and not only must we celebrate this, but we have to actively enable it.
We have to fix each other's crowns and make sure we push each other to achieve wonderful things. With the support of our peers and the shortcuts that were hard-forged but willingly passed on, we can streamline the success of more women in various capacities.
Didn't Taylor Swift once notoriously, and slightly out of hand, say that 'there's a special place in hell for women who don't support other women'? I think we would do well to remember that in our daily lives.
Here are 4 reasons to be the woman that fixes other women's crowns…
1 – Encourage the women around you to get out of abusive relationships
If you see your friends or work colleagues in toxic relationships, or who seem unable on a fundamental level to escape the thrall of their exes, then step in. Everyone needs advice sometimes, even if we don't think so.
If you can be the voice of reason or the third party outside perspective that sets them back on course, then do. What do you have to lose? If they have a better relationship afterward with your help or a more healthy approach, that doesn't mean that your relationships are in any way affected.
Their peace is not your chaos, but you can pass on the tough relationship lessons that you have earned in your experience. You never know, you may even get some sound advice in return.
Also, try to not be bitter when you do this. If you can pass on a lesson that you had to forge through pain and heartbreak and sidestep the suffering of one person, that is truly noble. Be that person you wish you had at the time when you were younger.
2 – Stop thinking about the opinion of other people and teach other women how to move on too
We're all told to listen to the media and sustain that constant comparison between ourselves and the images of women in entertainment or on the front page, but we have to stop. You may have managed to distance yourself from these toxic patterns of comparison and competition but try to encourage others too.
Tell them to unfollow all those celebrities on Instagram that they don't really care about. We all control our feed and the content in our lives might as well make it as wholesome as possible.
You will find that you are so distracted by the many excellent videos of cats doing silly things on the Internet that you will forget why you ever thought you needed to follow them. Eventually, you will forget they exist and stop holding yourself to their impossible, airbrushed standards.
Pass on this wisdom and allow other women to learn this liberating message.
This is true for things like body image, fashion, money, jobs, and all manner of other material things that society has told us we're inadequate in.
3 – Ignore whatever society tells you what you should be doing
Just follow your own path, you will know what feels right. Don't live other people's lives or let them live through yours. You are your own person outside of a relationship and outside of arbitrary social gestures.
You are enough. More people need to know that.
4 – Be yourself
You are not your mistakes, not if you learn from them. They are a constituent of all that you are. Nothing in your life is bigger than you.