Finding a person who will spark the best in you doesn't necessarily mean you have to kiss a lot of frogs. All you need to do is learn how to attract souls who are ready to have healthier relationships. It's that simple, yet not easy.
Dealing with people is a lot of work. They are ignorant, arrogant, and often poisonous. So, how do you grow healthy relationships when toxic people are all around you? Start by finding the good ones. Here's how:
Do you know what you want?
Honestly, do you have any idea what you're looking for in a relationship? And what do you bring to the table? Being in a healthy couple is about understanding your needs and making compromises with your partner's needs.
So, before you start the search, write two lists. The first one is what you don't want, and then the one with all the qualities you want from a partner. Be flexible, optimistic, but have standards.
Do you love yourself enough?
The first person you need to learn to love is you. Get to know yourself and learn to love your good and bad sides. Being self-aware and having self-esteem will make you a great partner, but more importantly, you'll be your own best friend.
The more you love and accept yourself, the more you'll grow. And you'll soon realize that you're worth having a healthy and meaningful relationship. And you'll never make the mistakes from the past again.
Do you treat yourself with kindness?
You can't really teach people how to behave. You can show them. If you want respect, then be the one who respects herself.
It's all up to you: the way you treat yourself in front of others (and when you're alone, of course) will offer them a glimpse into your life. It will also give them an idea of what it is that you're looking for in a partnership. Always be kind and put yourself first.
How about some alone time?
Let's say there's no mate for you. You are destined to be alone. You can have everything but a healthy relationship. How does that make you feel?
The biggest trick in love is that once you're happy being on your own, you have the best chances to meet someone worthy of your love. But you have to accept that living alone isn't the same as being lonely. You have to be aware that ending up alone isn't a tragedy. The real tragedy is spending years with a manipulative, toxic person.
Can you think when you're in love?
Love makes us do crazy things. Blame it on science, on romance novels, but the thing about love is that we can't see things clearly.
If your gut is telling you something is off, listen to it. Try to connect your brain and your heart because if they are in sync, you're more likely to find the right person. Not just someone who makes your world spin. But someone who will be with you when everything sucks and you have the feeling that the world is falling apart.
Building a healthy relationship is tricky. Finding the right kind of lover is like hitting the jackpot in Vegas. However, if you open your eyes and heart, you might be among the few lucky ones. Just don't settle!