Find Yourself Then Find the Guy: 10 Signs You’re Not Ready for a Relationship

Maybe you’re solely focused on finding love, and you can’t help but think that life is mysteriously throwing you curveballs and making your love life suffer.

But what if that is life’s way of telling you that you are not capable of nurturing a lasting relationship…yet? Have you considered that you’re not ready to date?

There’s no denying that a good relationship is hard to come by, and chances are you’re not ready as you think. It’s OK to press pause to figure yourself out before giving your heart to someone.

Here are signs that you’re not ready for a relationship:

1.You don’t trust anyone


You don’t trust your ability to make important decisions, and consequently, you’re always indecisive.

But if you don’t trust yourself, how can you trust other people?

Remember, trust is paramount for any relationship. That is, no relationship can thrive without trust. So, you know you’re not ready if you’re having trouble trusting other people.

2.You like playing games


Maybe you get out of your way to play hard to get, by waiting hours before responding to texts or before agreeing to a simple lunch date.

Like many girls, you love the chase and the drama- it’s exciting. There’s nothing wrong with wanting the guy to put a little more effort.

However, if you’re addicted to the drama, it means that you’re not ready for a serious relationship-at least not right now. Because um…with all the drama, how can you sustain a healthy relationship?

3.You always date the same guys


Perhaps the reason why your relationships don’t work is that you always go for the same guys. It’s comfortable since you’re familiar with these types of guys, and you think that’s what you deserve.

But you’re denying a chance to meet different people and reducing your chances of finding love at the same time.

Similarly, do you deny the red flags in guys hoping that you’ll ‘change’ them? Consequently, you’ve grown the habit of forcing your habits into your significant other. It might have worked in previous relationships, but that doesn’t mean it’s a smart move.

If you’re always trying to change your partner, then it goes without saying you’re dating the wrong person. It’s like you know it’s doomed from the start, and you’re hoping for a different ending. Weird.

4.You invest too quickly


Do you take no time to become obsessed with someone?

It’s easy to get attracted to someone in what feels like love. However, these feelings are not precise.

Instead, don’t rush, slow down, ask questions, and read the signs. Entering a relationship shouldn’t be instant, and lasting love can’t be built in a day.

Take time, if you’re ready, and he’s the right guy you’ll know.

5.You’re unhappy


Nobody’s perfect. We all have insecurities. Likewise, if you aren’t happy by yourself, how can someone else make you happy? That’s right, it’s impossible.

A relationship won’t complete you, and it most certainly won’t make you happy. Sure, it’ll distract you, and you’ll be excited about a while, but your unhappiness will wreak havoc in your relationship sooner or later.

Unsurprisingly, hoping to find happiness in your SO will inevitably cause an unfulfilling relationship.

Importantly, nobody you date can fill that void- it’s your responsibility.

Instead, concentrate on your happiness, then find love.

6.You want to focus on other things


Whether you’re looking to focus on your studies or career, chances are you’re not ready to settle down.

The good thing is there’s no time limit to love. Therefore, you shouldn’t feel pressured to date if you want to focus on your career or travel the world.

Likewise, if Lucifer Morningstar asked you what you truly desire, would it be a relationship?

You owe it to yourself to do what you desire.

You can settle down when you’re ready. But for now, honor your interests and don’t ignore your needs. If a relationship isn’t a priority right now- don’t force it.

7.You’re not over your last relationship


Are you still suffering from immense heartbreak?

You can’t be ready for a relationship if you haven’t healed from your previous relationship.

Similarly, you have no space to focus on someone new if you’re still hung up on your ex or rehashing a past relationship.

Instead of analyzing a previous relationship that has been and gone, work on moving on.

Getting over a breakup takes time and patience. Take a breather and dedicate enough time to healing to avoid mistakes that can worsen post-breakup.

8.You’re always looking for something new


Chances are you’re not afraid of commitment; it’s just that you DON’T want to settle.

Maybe you think that there’s someone better, and you don’t want to miss out on the best. But how do you expect to be in a relationship if you can’t settle?

Likely, you’re better suited for a casual relationship since you can’t nurture a healthy relationship if you always want to see what’s out there.

9.You’re lonely and bored


Being single doesn’t necessarily indicate loneliness. Unfortunately, many people dread being single and therefore join nearly every dating app and settle for almost anyone.

However, loneliness isn’t another word for single, and not all relationships give someone a sense of connection.

There are many people in committed relationships or even married and are still very lonely, unsupported, and unheard.

Some couples even go as far as to say that they feel like they’re just roommates with their SO. With that being said, loneliness is more about you.

For instance, do you take care of yourself?  Do you have a relationship with God? Sometimes you may feel lonely because you lack a relationship with a higher power.

Don’t jump into a relationship because you’re lonely. It would be best if you resolved your loneliness instead.

10.You’re not trying to be better


Are you struggling with heartbreak? Or is it stress from work?

We all have issues that make it difficult for us to stay in committed relationships. However, you should acknowledge your problems and work on them.

Pretending you’re perfect is a clear indication that you’re not ready to be in a relationship – you know it.

Besides, unresolved issues can take a significant toll on your relationship, and by not resolving these issues, you’re not doing anyone, especially yourself, any favors.

Firstly, commit to yourself. Focus on what you need right now and embrace it.

Relationships are complicated, and without finding yourself first- no relationship you enter will pan out. The good news is that you’re not alone. No one has it all figured out.

One thing for sure, though: you’ll thank yourself later for taking the time to realize yourself.