Find Someone Who Wants You More Than They Need You


As human beings, it is only natural to crave love and companionship. In many ways, we actually need it. However, when it comes to romantic relationships, the focus should be on a mutual desire to be together rather than being stuck in a codependent situation that prevents you from moving on from a potentially unhealthy relationship.

1. Recognize The Difference Between Want And Need

Everyone has basic needs, such as wanting someone to care for us when we are ill or to keep us company while watching our favorite TV shows. However, wants are more complex and unique, driven by personal desires. Understanding the distinction between the two is the first step toward achieving a healthier relationship that meets both your basic needs and deeper wants.

2. Be More Than A Problem Solver

It's important to find a partner who doesn't rely on you to solve all their problems. Look for someone who takes responsibility for their own issues and seeks your input and perspective because they genuinely value your thoughts and feelings. This way, you can have a mutually supportive and fulfilling relationship.

3. Don't Be Their Everything

Being told that you mean "everything" to someone can be romantic, but it's important to remember that it shouldn't be taken literally. A healthy relationship involves two individuals who have their own aspirations and desires. No one should have their life completely revolve around their partner; it's simply too draining. Look for someone who has their own sense of initiative and isn't completely dependent on you.

4. Be More Than "Theirs"

Your relationship should not define who you are as a person. You are your own individual, and a partner who truly understands this will allow you to flourish as your own whole. Avoid being with someone who needs you more than they want you; this type of person will only view you as their other half. You need someone who appreciates you for who you are, not simply for the role you play in their life.

5. Make A Few Demands Of Your Own

When someone wants to be with you, they do so with the intention of making you happy. On the other hand, someone who needs you more than they want you expects you to bring them happiness and cater to their every whim. A healthy relationship is about give and take between two people who love each other. It's important to demand whole-hearted love, as you deserve nothing less. Don't settle for someone whose desperate need for you only brings you down.

6. Don't Carry Their Weight On Your Shoulders

A lover who constantly relies on you is simply idle. Avoid falling for their false helplessness. Instead, seek out someone who doesn't burden you with their problems every time they occur, without even trying to solve them themselves. Don't be with someone who prioritizes their needs above yours, making you tend to their every demand before pursuing your own ambitions. A mature partner will carry their own weight and motivate you to pursue your goals. That's the type of person you should be with.

7. Trust Your Gut Feeling

Someone who depends on you more than they desire you can never make you feel like you're their top priority. They may appreciate your efforts, express gratitude, and admire you, but you will never be their true desire. There is a distinction between need and want. Feeling needed is pleasant, but being wanted entirely is refreshing and amazing. You will know when you have found the right person because they will fulfill your needs and offer more.

8. Don't Let Anyone Hold You Back

If you're in a relationship with someone who needs you more than they want you, they'll go to great lengths to keep you close. But be wary of falling for this ploy. Look for a partner who supports your aspirations and dreams, rather than one who fears that pursuing your goals will impede theirs. A person who wants you more than they need you will never hold you back.

9. Stand On Equal Ground

It's impossible to be on equal footing with someone who needs you more than they want you. If you're what they feel they require, how can you both stand on level ground? You deserve someone who doesn't look up to you in gratitude or down at you while making demands. You deserve an equal relationship, not one that's unbalanced by someone's overreliance on you.

10. Don't Be The One They Can't Live Without

We often romanticize the idea of being indispensable to our partner. But is that truly what we desire? Do we want to be with someone who cannot function without us, who is entirely dependent on us for their well-being? Rather, we deserve a partner who is self-assured, decisive, and driven. Someone who knows their goals and is committed to achieving them. It's essential to choose someone who can manage perfectly fine without us but actively chooses to be with us. We should set our hearts on someone who chooses us simply because they want us, not because they need us to survive.