expectations will break your heart

In a real loving relationship, there is mutual trust. For there to be mutual trust, the couple should learn to give and take. There should be reciprocity, consistency, and reliability. If only one person gives enough and the other one only takes, negativity, doubt, and anger tend to build up, until the wronged part becomes emotionally and physically distant from the loved one. The relationship suffers and eventually ends as a sad story.

You Cannot Fix Anyone

The purpose of a relationship is for two people to love and grow with each other. If a person views a relationship other than that, he or she has a lot of personal work to do. People might come from a recent relationship that damaged their self-worth and turned their world upside down.

After a series of broken relationships, a person might have grown weary and cynical. Other people might be looking at a relationship as a form of security or anchor because everything else in their life could be falling apart. It is normal to expect, but make sure you expect reasonable things from someone capable of the love you are looking for.

You Are Not A Doormat

People either love you in the beginning or they work to love you in the end. But would you rather be with a person who you love and that loves you back from the get-go, than wait and see if the relationship might work for both of you? Waiting for someone to love you might be a waste of time and at the beginning tips the balance unfairly out of your favor.

If a person has been broken and carries a lot of baggage, love might paint you to look at the bright side and tempt you to help the person heal. This is a disservice to you. You deserve to be loved from the beginning. No one is a reservoir of good feelings for an unhealthful amount of time for anyone. You are not a doormat.

Take Good Care Of Yourself

After nursing a broken heart, the first few times might tempt you to get on a new relationship because you feel lonely and miss belonging to someone. It means your self-security is not yet that strong and your boundaries can easily be crossed. Your heart is vulnerable and you are food for the wolves.

What you should do first is take good care of yourself. Though we usually declare to friends that we know our worth, our worth as reflected in our choice of relationships shows how poor our perception of ourselves is.

Love Yourself First

We all want to be loved. Our need for love is so great that we tend to sabotage our self-worth and happiness for the sake of belonging to someone. Just because you are in a relationship does not mean you belong with the person if you are not feeling a bond or connection with them.

Why do we prize love so much at the expense of long-term self-respect and self-worth? No one can love us truly if we do not love ourselves first. Because if we love ourselves, we will always choose what is best for us in the long-run.

If we cannot love ourselves, then we cannot give what we do not have to anyone. Love yourself. We all deserve the best.