The notion that men should be leaders, providers, and heads in relationships has been completely blown out of the water by the concept of a female led relationship. No longer are women confined to being sensitive, supportive, and submissive partners in romantic relationships.
What’s A Female Led Relationship (FLR)?
In a traditional relationship, men usually take the leadership role. This dynamic has changed with the introduction of female-led relationships (FLRs).
With a female-led relationship, men readily let go of some of their authority and allow the women in their lives to take the reins. The first step to getting into this relationship, therefore, is finding a partner who agrees to it. And it’s not only men who need to be comfortable with this, but women as well.
You see, not all women would feel comfortable taking a leadership role in the relationship. The extra responsibilities that come with it might not be their cup of tea.
The Women Should Want To Lead, And The Man Should Accept The Woman’s Leadership
Unless both partners are on board, the female-led relationship will never work.
And just to set the record straight, this relationship is not about forcefully imposing your will on your male partner. It is all about having an agreement as to how the relationship will proceed, but with you in charge.
If one of the parties is not interested in this arrangement, then there will be confrontations, frustration, resistance, and anger. Needless to say, that is a recipe for disaster in any relationship.
What Should You Expect Of A Female Led Relationship (FLR)?
At its most basic, a female-led relationship is the opposite of a typical relationship. Therefore, you just have to flip the script on relationships as you know them.
For instance, you can be the one asking the man out on a date. In fact, you might have to initiate all the dates. You also make the suggestion on whether to take the relationship to the next level or not, such as by asking him to be your boyfriend or husband.
Similarly, you would play a more dominant role in the bedroom. Also, you might also have to make the most important decisions regarding your finances.
Obviously, as with any other relationship, these terms and conditions are not set in stone. You can pick and choose which aspects of the relationship to control and which areas your partner can handle.
In short, there are no “official rules” about female-led relationships. If you are not comfortable taking charge in a certain area, then your partner can and your relationship would still be female-led.
What Does A Female Led Relationship Feel Like?
I get it. You could be on the fence about seeking a female-led relationship. And it makes sense. After all, you might not know what to expect.
So, as a woman in an FLR, what does this relationship feel like? The points below might be of help.
1. You’ll Feel In Control
First of all, you will feel more in control of the relationship since you will be calling the shots. For instance, rather than waiting for years for him to propose, you can do it yourself when ready.
Similarly, if you feel you are not ready yet, you can be comfortable knowing that you get to decide when to take the relationship to the next level.
2. You’ll Feel Happier
In a female-led relationship, you will also feel happier with regard to having your relationship needs met. Since the guy is playing a supportive role, he will be more inclined to cater to your needs.
For example, if you want to wait a couple of years before getting kids, then you can be sure that need will be met because it’s ultimately your decision.
3. You’ll Feel You Understand Your Man Better
Men don’t typically like to talk about their emotions, mainly because they think it makes them look weak.
However, a man in a female-led relationship will not mind letting out his emotions since he now takes on a submissive role. And that means that if something is going on with him, he will be more open about it.
If You Want A Female Led Relationship, Seek Guys With These Traits
Not every man will be particularly welcoming of the idea of a woman playing a more dominant role in a relationship. So, if you are a lady wishing to get into this kind of relationship, make sure you pick the right guy.
So, be on the lookout for these traits if you want a guy who will play along when you try to take the reins in the relationship.
1. Emotional Stability
Men can be emotional too, and that is something you should consider because an emotionally unstable partner can be your undoing.
A man who is insecure will not have the strength to deal with the idea of you being in charge. Such men require assurance about their manhood, and that includes letting him be in charge.
But a man who is less emotionally demanding would not mind if you take charge, because he can handle this dynamic without feeling demeaned or emasculated.
Since by wanting to get into a female-led relationship you are challenging some deeply seated rules about relationships, make sure you find a nurturing man.
Although it is traditionally a female role, nurturing is something you should seek in a partner who takes on a supportive role.
Nurturers are supportive, and they will make sure you have all you need to achieve your dreams. You need this in a male partner who is comfortable with your leadership. Otherwise, you could end up in a relationship without a nurturer, and that would not make it very cozy.
You might find this strange since the idea is to find a man who would be comfortable with you having a significant leadership role in the relationship.
But ironically, independent men are more likely to appreciate the input of their female partners. These men appreciate the same attribute in you, which is why they would be comfortable with you being in charge.
A man who is less independent would probably put up quite a fight when you try to take charge, as that might feel like the only aspect of the relationship they can control.
An independent man, on the other hand, with so many other things needing his attention, would not mind letting you lead in the relationship.
Yes, there are men who don’t mind female leadership in relationships. And yes, quite a number of them actually seek relationships where the woman will take on the leadership role.
But the best man for this relationship is someone who is proactive. Even though the man wants to be led and told what to do, you should avoid men you have to tell time and again what needs to get done.
So, be on the lookout for men who will take action and solve problems with little hesitation.
At the end of the day, you actually want a partner, not a man-child who has to be given constant instructions like a six-year-old. You have to work together if the relationship has to work, regardless of who is in the driver’s seat.
Why Would A Man Want A FLR?
You might be one of those women who don’t readily believe that a man would put himself in a position where a woman would be in charge. But you would be wrong.
There are quite a number of reasons men would want this kind of relationship. For instance, some successful men would like a place where they can take a less demanding role in their lives.
Similarly, there are men who admire female authority and actually cherish it. Then we have men who struggle with important decisions, and they know it, which is why they will readily allow a woman to take the lead.
How to Get Into A Female Led Relationship
As the saying goes, everything comes at a price. So, to enjoy taking a leadership role in the relationship, you have to be comfortable giving up a few expectations women usually have when trying to get into typical relationships.
So, be okay with dating a beta male. He will be more unsure of himself, but that will make him more comfortable following your lead as opposed to taking the lead with you in tow.
If you try to get an alpha male to submit to you, then you will not get very far. This man likes to lead in every aspect of his life and will not step aside and let you make decisions that impact his life significantly.
The man you will have instead will be a little more sensitive, laid back, and somewhat shy.
2. Be Honest About Your Intention To Lead
Similarly, as you seek your partner, make it clear that you like to be in charge. Do it indirectly such as by highlighting your financial and career achievements.
Let it be known that you would like a partner who supports your dreams and career and is comfortable with you making important decisions about the relationship. Only through brutal honesty can you find a man who would be okay with you being the leader in the relationship.
3. Show You Can Lead
If you want to be in charge, you have to take charge. If you wait for the guy to tell you to be in control, that will most likely not happen.
Show dominance in the bedroom and in other areas of the relationship. If you are ready to get married, come out and say it, don’t wait for him to propose.
If you don’t try to be in charge, then you won’t end up in a female-led relationship as you had hoped.
As a rule, you should make decisions quickly and in a timely manner, take action, be confident and assertive, and demonstrate the ability to be the provider. It will be much harder to assert your leadership if you are counting on your man to provide for you in every possible way.
That would seriously undermine your authority.
For instance, it won’t be easy (or smart) to convince your man to put his career on hold to support your dream of starting a business if his job is your only source of income. But if you can handle all your joint financial needs as you pursue such interests, then you will have an easier time getting him to agree with your suggestions.
4. Delegate Authority
Being in charge does not mean you have to micromanage everything in the relationship so that your man does not have to decide anything. You are still a human, not a supernatural being.
The trick is to decide what he gets to manage. And since the goal is to make sure you are the main authority, you should delegate responsibilities such as housework to him. And that also means being in charge of the main responsibilities such as finances.
Will A Female Led Relationship Even Work?
Even though the idea of a female-led relationship might sound amazing to you in theory, you might be wondering if it will work in real life. And that’s totally understandable.
But know that a lot of people have made these relationships work for them.
These days women are successful, confident, and they have clearly demonstrated that they have amazing leadership skills. Similarly, men know that they don’t have to be emotionless robots who have to demonstrate their manhood by controlling every aspect of their relationships.
So, if you are interested in a female-led relationship, then go for it. Just make sure you choose guys who are comfortable with this arrangement.
Don’t force the first guy you meet into accepting your suggestion to be part of a female-led relationship. That will not work.
So yes, a female-led relationship might be a fantastic proposition for you, especially if you have a domineering personality and don’t like to submit to anyone. However, keep in mind that being in a female-led relationship does not mean the guy never has a say in the relationship.
All it really means is that the guy is easy-going enough to let you take charge in matters he would typically control. In the end, you both have to agree on what roles you will play in the relationship to avoid conflict.
No partner should feel oppressed, because a loving relationship needs the satisfaction of both lovers. That’s why you have to make sure you find a man who is comfortable with a female-led relationship. Otherwise, power struggles will tear the whole thing to shreds.
Pros Of Female Led Relationships
1. The needs of both partners are better addressed in an FLR. In typical relationships, the man usually gets too much responsibility while the woman does not get enough say in the relationship. An FLR addresses this problem.
2. In this relationship, the man has a greater ability to express his emotional needs because he does not have to take on a macho role to seem manly.
3. FLRs support equality, which is now widely accepted by both men and women.
4. With female-led relationships, the partners have more freedom taking on non-traditional roles. A man who likes to cook can do so, and a woman who likes to take charge in the bedroom can also comfortably do so.
5. Communication in the relationship improves because the responsibilities are shared more fairly in the relationship. No partner feels like they have to deal with certain issues on their own on account of their gender.
1. The relationship can turn into a power struggle if the boundaries are not very clear. It takes a bit of mental preparation to make this relationship work.
2. Relationship imbalance can result if the woman takes up too much power. Any relationship where only one person contributes becomes exhausting, unhealthy, or toxic over time.
3. The female-led relationship can turn into something else entirely. Instead of a normal romantic relationship, you might end up with something that looks like a mother-son relationship.
4. As much as the guy might be willing to play a submissive role in the relationship, he might not be the best homemaker. Women are natural nurturers, and they can multitask and see details men usually miss. Your partner might not fill these shoes properly despite his best intentions.
Some FLR Rules
1. Communicate often to make sure you are on the same page regarding various issues. The last thing you want is to have arguments with your partner every time you make a decision.
2. Define clear boundaries in the relationship regarding your roles. Know for sure who takes care of the bills, housework, and other things to avoid conflicts.
3. Maintain balance in the relationship to make sure each of you has a role to play. If you handle everything on your own just to be in charge, then it will not be the relationship you desired.
What If A Female Led Relationship Doesn’t Work Out?
There’s no guarantee that a female-led relationship will be right to you. For one, you might not like the pressure of having a man wait on you to decide where you will take this year’s vacation.
Maybe you like to be more laid back, playing a supportive role as your man pampers you and does everything in his power to make sure you are fully provided for. If that’s what makes you happy, then go for it.
We all deserve to be in happy, loving relationships. And if the demands of a female-led relationship would take away the joy and satisfaction you seek in a relationship, then you can always stick with regular relationships.
That said if you are sure you would like more control in a relationship, know that there are guys who would happily indulge your ambitions. These men will support the hell out of you and comfortably assume a submissive role.