It's hard to love when your body, mind, and soul are covered in scars. But it's not impossible, just different. Learn to love someone who felt broken, but they still want to give love another try.
You've been manipulated, made worthless, and the idea of love is changed forever. Then you meet someone who's kind, loving, and understanding. A while ago, you would jump into a relationship. Now, things are different, but you take your time to heal while your new partner learns to love you fully.
Keeping the distance
Emotionally abused people are cautious, and they take things slowly. Well, that's a given, considering they were treated like they are less than a human.
Your partner won't text you back immediately, and yes, they will keep looking for the red flags. Until they learn to trust again, and their scars become distant memories.
Affection will come
Physical and emotional closeness isn't easy for abused people. But, they will do their best, and you are the one who will provide them additional strength and acceptance to heal faster. Let them get close to you on their terms and in their own time.
Like any other form of abuse, emotional abuse is painful, and many are ashamed they were victims. But if they show you that they want to be with you, give them space and time. Be their rock.
Assume the worst, hope for the best
Anyone who ever experienced trauma lives by the rule of assuming the worst but expecting the best. It is hard to trust, let people in when your whole sense of self went through self-doubt, and your self-esteem is on its last legs.
It's hard to understand abuse fully, but you don't have to. Your job isn't to fix, but to listen and teach your partner that love should not hurt. It seems like a lot of work, but it's merely a learning process. And you might just save a victim's life by sticking by them.
When a person had to question everything, it's natural to have trust issues. You're a stranger, and you'll be one for a long time. It's not because you're not worth it, but because emotionally abused people have to learn to trust you.
It's one of the hardest things they will have to do, so don't push it. While they are relearning how to be in a healthy relationship, you can teach yourself how to be patient. Once you are in sync, you'll be unstoppable.
Let them tear up the wall
Yes, it's a freaking wall, and the person you love is somewhere behind it. You can't remove it. You can't push through it. But, there's something you can do: listen!
Emotionally abused ones are going to tear down that wall fully once they are ready. But before we get to that point, you can listen, show empathy, and be honest.
The healing journey can be a very long one, but a person can love you beyond their words and actions. The abused people love differently, and you can choose to heal with them or walk away now. Don't make yourself to be a hero. The real hero is that person who is still open to love after suffering.
Respect their feelings. No one asked to be emotionally abused. Be grateful that you didn't go through that hell, but remember that the victims have their right to do things their way. It's not an excuse. It's a part of their lives and part of what's making them feel better.