Ed Sheeran has acknowledged that he reached a point recently where he lost the will to live. He had undergone significant amounts of trauma but eventually found relief through therapy.
Sheeran discusses the obstacles he faced in 2022 in the trailer for his upcoming Disney+ documentary, Ed Sheeran: The Sum Of It All.
At the age of 32, Sheeran shared his experience of balancing his life as a prominent pop star and a family man. He and his wife, Cherry Seaborn, welcomed their first child, Lyra, in 2020, and their second daughter, Jupiter, was born eight months ago in the previous year.
Despite the joyous moments, there have been significant sorrows to contend with as well.
Last year, Sheeran experienced a devastating loss when his best friend Jamal Edwards passed away due to a cardiac arrhythmia, which was triggered by cocaine use.
Sheeran credits his career success to Edwards, as he appeared on his influential YouTube channel SBTV. Additionally, when Sheeran was 18 and had nowhere to stay in London, he stayed at Edwards' house.
In a recent Rolling Stone interview, which is linked to his upcoming four-part documentary, Sheeran recounted how he had been having dinner with Taylor Swift and her boyfriend Joe Alwyn. During this time, he was also exchanging text messages with Edwards, discussing plans for a video shoot the following day.
"Twelve hours later, he was dead," he said.
With tears in his eyes, Sheeran went on to say: "My best friend died."
"And he shouldn't have done."
Sheeran described how Edwards' passing had a severe impact on him, causing him to spiral and fall into a depressive episode. Although Sheeran had experienced depression earlier in school, he had only recently started addressing it.
"I've always had real lows in my life," he said.
"But it wasn't really till last year that I actually addressed it."
Shortly before Edwards' passing, Seaborn received a tumor diagnosis while six months pregnant, which required surgery that couldn't be performed until after she gave birth.
While considering the situation, they contemplated delivering Jupiter prematurely. However, ultimately they decided to carry the child to full term, and Seaborn underwent successful surgery in June.
As if those events weren't traumatic enough, Sheeran also faced a plagiarism lawsuit over his hit song 'Shape of You,' which he ultimately won in court.
Following Edwards' death, Sheeran experienced another loss when his friend, Australian cricket star Shane Warne, passed away tragically in early March.
"I felt like I didn't want to live anymore," he went on.
"And I have had that throughout my life.… You're under the waves drowning. You're just sort of in this thing. And you can't get out of it."
Sheeran expressed feeling guilty for having those emotions, especially "as a father." He acknowledged: "I feel really embarrassed about it."
Seaborn detected Sheeran's struggles and encouraged him to seek assistance from a therapist.
"No one really talks about their feelings where I come from," Sheeran said.
"People think it's weird getting a therapist in England.… I think it's very helpful to be able to speak with someone and just vent and not feel guilty about venting. Obviously, like, I've lived a very privileged life. So my friends would always look at me like, 'Oh, it's not that bad.'"
According to Sheeran, therapy is not a quick fix that automatically makes everything better.
Instead, he explained, it is "something that will always be there and just has to be managed."
The documentary "Ed Sheeran: The Sum Of It All" will be released on Disney+ on May 3rd.