When most people hear of a Dom Sub relationship, Fifty Shades of Grey, because of the chains, ropes, and handcuffs, is what pops into their heads. But the domination submission relationships you see on the big screen are a little different from what happens in real life.
And if I may ask, do these kinds of relationships even exist? And if so, how do they work?
I'll get right down to it and assure you that Dom Sub relationships exist. And just as you guessed, one partner dominates the other.
Actually, Dom Sub relationships are all around us. If you are keen enough, you will notice that one partner is submissive while the other is more dominant in any given couple.
And unlike what many people think, women are not always submitting to their male partners. Many ladies like to take charge, and often, their partners often like it that way.
That said, the roles are not always fixed, and partners can switch up at any time.
Also, these relationships are not just about sex. In all aspects of the relationship, this unique dynamic exists.
The dominant partner acts as the leader, besides offering protection and guidance. The submissive partner takes on the role of a fragile servant whose goal is to please the dominant partner.
And no, the relationships don't have to be extreme. Still, some rules are necessary to make sure things don't get out of hand.
Therefore, clear communication has to precede any attempts to assume any of these roles. It is particularly important to know each other's limits.
Additionally, the rules are not set in stone and you can always make modifications as you go by. Consequently, anyone can benefit from learning a thing or two about Dom Sub relationships.
1. Communicate Openly And Freely
The basis of any good relationship is communication. So, you need to discuss everything before you jump into a full-blown Dom Sub relationship.
Things to discuss include sexual needs and fantasies, health, boundaries, likes and dislikes, dos and don'ts, and even experiences.
Don't assume anything because nobody can read minds.
Also make sure you discuss safe words and signals. The power in these relationships has to be handled properly.
2. Have Fun Ways To Create Your Dom Sub Relationship
This should actually be the fun part.
With your partner, you can come up with ways to make the experience fun and exciting.
Your options here include roleplaying, which allows you to slip into a particular identity easily. From there, you can come up with actions to take.
Some roles include being a student and a teacher, a king/queen and a servant, a soldier and a prisoner, and so forth.
Besides roleplaying, you can use bondage, or use titles like "master" or "mistress" and words like "please" and "I live to serve you."
3. Consider Your Health
Both partners should be physically and mentally healthy before they embark on a dominant-submissive relationship. For this reason, nobody should be drunk, stressed, devoid of sleep, or suffering from any other physical discomfort.
Both partners should want the relationship, and nobody should be coerced or manipulated into it for any reason.
Although these relationships are often about taking a little pleasure in your partner's discomfort, all partners must be comfortable before you get started.
4. Have Trust Before You Have A Dom Sub Relationship
It is critical to trust someone before you can submit to them. And trust requires proof.
In a position where you give away your power and make yourself vulnerable, you want someone who will respect the rules and make your wellbeing a priority.
The person dominating has to be worthy of the role by showing respect to the submissive partner.
Therefore, before you can even suggest a domination submission relationship with your partner, make sure there is trust between the two of you.
No one will willingly allow someone to hit them if they have a reason to believe they will go too far.
Without trust and self-control, a Dom Sub relationship can easily turn abusive.
5. Learn To Be Patient
You should never jump into this kind of relationship. Even if you both know you are interested, take time to understand each other and what you want.
There should be no rush, and comfort must be ensured at every step of the way. Both of you should feel relaxed and excited.
Even the submissive partner should feel the gentleness and care the dominant partner is showing them during the experience.
So, if your partner is not open to the idea, don't grow impatient and blame them for it. They can take as much time as they need to decide.
It's not like your life depends on it.
6. Make Sure You Get Consent
Fifty Shades of Grey may have helped many people know about domination submission relationships, but it does a terrible job of showing the importance of consent in these relationships.
All partners have to agree to this relationship, especially the submissive partner. Forcing your partner into taking on the submissive role is a no-no.
That can ruin the relationship and easily cross over into abuse.
7. Make Sure You Can See The Benefits Of Being In A Dom Sub Relationship
If you are not sure if a domination-submission relationship is for you, then it's probably not the right time to give it a shot.
Considering that things can go wrong if the dynamic does not work out, it's important to ensure that you can see the benefits of having this kind of relationship beforehand.
Some of these include better communication, livelier sex life, improved fidelity, lower anxiety, and greater intimacy.
So, if you think what you are about to do will be of benefit to you in one way or another, then you can go ahead and give it a try.
You can't get into a Dom Sub relationship without an open mind. So, be ready to accommodate some differences in perspectives.
For instance, you cannot judge your partner for suggesting something that seems to go too far by your standards. And they should not hold anything against you for making the same mistake.
In general, you should have a willingness to try new things and welcome new perspectives, either as the dominant or the submissive partner.
At the end of the day, this relationship requires a team effort. Every partner needs to make an input and have a voice in the direction the relationship takes.
9. Gather All The Equipment You Need
For a truly rewarding Dom Sub relationship, you have to get the right gear. The choices are pretty broad, and it's upon you and your partner to get what you need.
It would kill the momentum to discover you need handcuffs and have none at your disposal. So, get all the supplies you need including blindfolds, handcuffs, spreader bars, or even paddles well ahead of time.
10. Do Your Homework On Dom Sub Relationships
Submission and domination mean very different things to different people. Therefore, make sure you and your partner come up with your own definition of what submission and domination mean.
Also, find out how to do some things safely. For instance, harmless as spanking normally is, but it can be dangerous if directed to the wrong body parts during the excitement of a Dom Sub relationship.
Just because they make something look fun and harmless on the web, it does not mean it is. Without enough information, you might do things to each other that can have fairly permanent effects.
Google can help out in this regard by telling you how to do things safely.
11. Learn To Take Necessary Breaks
Intense Dom Sub sex adventures are not an everyday thing. Unlike regular sex, this kind of affair has to be spaced out.
You can wait a week, or as long as you require before you are ready for your next adventure. In the meantime, you can do things the conventional way.
Also, over that time, you can discuss ways you can improve on your adventure when you finally get down and dirty in another Dom Sub erotic adventure.
12. Have Realistic Expectations
You might put a lot of expectations on the kind of experience you will have with your partner once you get started. But it's important not to expect more than necessary.
In theory, things tend to be a little different than in reality.
The dominant partner might not go as far as the submissive partner would like, or they may go too far.
Ideally, the submissive partner should be left satisfied, or at least begging for more; not regretting that things went too far.
Additionally, it's important not to focus on the mistakes and understand that some things take time.
13. Make Sure You Follow The Dom Sub Relationship Rules You Set
Once you have decided that you will abide by certain rules, it's absolutely critical that you don't break them. If you are the dominant partner, don't change up the rules for your own satisfaction.
Also, as the submissive partner, don't make unusual demands that your partner might not have agreed to. Yes, even the dominant partner can be uncomfortable doing some things, and it's important to respect that.
By sticking to the rules you laid out when you started, you ensure that the trust you have in each other is not compromised. Nobody deserves to be taken advantage of, even if it's by people who care about them.
14. Demonstrate Empathy In Your Dom Sub Relationship
Even though your partner is submitting to you, they are still human and require to be treated humanely. If you stop seeing the humanity in your submissive partner, then you have certainly crossed the line.
With empathy, you will know how far to go and when to stop.
Because of empathy, you will hear when your partner says it's time to stop because it has gotten uncomfortable.
15. Everyone Should Have Fun In A Dom Sub Relationship
What is the point of breaking all conventions if you are not going to have fun? That is the only reason you would venture into these kinds of relationships.
So, unless you think the Dom Sub relationship will bring more satisfaction into your love life, it's not worth a try.
And also, make sure the relationship will not ruin the respect you have for each other.
The whole affair is not about one partner lording it over the other, but about having a fun and exciting experience that strengthens your relationship or at least helps you to have fun.
If you have settled on giving a Dom Sub relationship a shot, then that's perfectly okay. But before you get started and end up making very avoidable mistakes or hurting your partner, make sure you understand all the rules involved.