Is he interested in a relationship or just a physical connection? Unfortunately, it's not always clear. Some guys will say and do whatever it takes to get what they want, including pretending to be interested in a relationship when they are only interested in a casual physical connection. To avoid being misled by someone like this, be on the lookout for these warning signs.
1. Every conversation with him has sexual undertones (or overtones)
When you try to have a normal conversation about a TV show or food, he tries to turn it into something sexual. This is a clear indication that he is not interested in getting to know you on a deeper level, but rather just wants a physical connection.
2. He's trying to move everything at a faster pace
He is very eager to spend time with you, especially late at night. However, these "hangouts" are not romantic dates. He is not interested in taking things slow and getting to know you, but rather just wants to be around you as much as possible in the hopes of advancing the physical side of the relationship. Each time you spend time together, he will try to take things further. This behavior suggests that he is primarily interested in a physical connection.
3. He isn't interested in taking you out and being creative
He does not put effort into planning your time together and instead just suggests low-key activities like watching TV or going out for drinks. There are no special outings or surprises, and he does not seem interested in creating meaningful experiences or trying to intrigue you. This lack of effort suggests that he is only interested in a physical relationship and is not concerned with getting to know you on a deeper level. If he is not putting in any effort, this is a red flag.
4. He doesn't learn anything about you
If he is only interested in talking about himself and doesn't show any interest in learning about you, this is a major red flag. This behavior is not only rude, but it is also a sign that he is not genuinely interested in you as a person. Do not make excuses for this behavior or overlook it. It is important to recognize that he is likely only interested in a physical relationship, and not a genuine connection.
5. He'd rather make out than talk
While physical intimacy can be enjoyable, it is important to ensure that there is also an emotional connection. If he doesn't make an effort to have conversations with you, it is likely that he is not truly invested in you. While it is nice that he is physically attracted to you, it is important to ensure that he also values your personality and interests. Take the time to get to know each other before taking any further steps in the relationship.
6. Even if he does take you out, it's a means to an end
Some guys may try to win you over by showering you with attention and lavish gifts, but this does not necessarily mean that they value you as a person. They may be attempting to impress you or even buy your affection, but ultimately, they are only interested in their own ego and may not care about your feelings or well-being. It is important to recognize this type of behavior and not be fooled into thinking that their actions indicate genuine care or interest. You deserve to be with someone who values and respects you for who you are, not just for what they can get from you.
More Warning Signs To Be On The Lookout For
1. He forgets everything you tell him
He's not absent-minded, he just never pays attention. He's always thinking about himself and doesn't make an effort to listen to others. As a result, he doesn't hear what you have to say, even if you do manage to get a word in. This behavior is selfish and not acceptable in anyone you spend time with.
2. He only wants to hang out at night, on short notice
According to licensed clinical psychologist Dr. Holly Schiff, a person who only makes plans or sees you on their own terms and when it's convenient for them may not be interested in a serious relationship. This behavior may involve texts or calls in the evening or late at night, often when they are feeling lonely or have had a few drinks and are looking for a hookup. If they avoid seeing you in the daytime, it could be because they don't want to do anything that feels like a date. If you don't want a casual relationship and are not okay with this behavior, it's important to set boundaries and not accept it. Men continue to behave this way because women often let them get away with it, but it's important to remember that you deserve better.
3. He takes no interest in what you're doing with your life
He doesn't care about you or your interests, he just wants sex. You're just a conquest to him and learning about you as a person would get in the way of that. He has no plans for a future with you and isn't interested in your plans or passions. If he seems disinterested when you talk about your own interests, it's a clear sign that he's only interested in physical intimacy.
4. He actually attempts to Netflix and chill like you don't know what's going on
Women are not stupid and often know when a guy is trying to deceive them. Many guys are not smooth and will not take you out on dates. Instead, they may invite you to their place late at night and expect sex. If they are only interested in physical intimacy, they may become annoyed or irritated if you don't have sex. If a guy truly likes you and wants more, he will be respectful of your feelings and be happy to spend time with you, regardless of whether or not sex is involved. Sex would be a bonus, not the only reason for the interaction.
5. Once you have sex, his attention wanes considerably
He's gotten what he wanted and may not feel the need to try anymore. He may assume that you will have sex with him again without any effort on his part. If he loses all interest after you've had sex, it's a sign that you should have not slept with him. It's too late to change that, but you can regain your dignity by ending the relationship and moving on.
Steps You Can Take To Avoid Guys Who Only Want To Sleep With You
There's no way to be sure that a guy you start dating will be honest about his intentions. However, you can take steps to increase the chances of identifying players and commitmentphobes. Make it clear that he needs to earn the privilege of sleeping with you while you evaluate his behavior and determine if he is worth your time. Remember that you also have a responsibility to take care of yourself and not settle for less than you deserve.
It's important to engage in self-reflection and try to understand any toxic patterns or behaviors that may have led you to be in a situation where you were manipulated or used for sexual gratification. While it's not your fault if a guy treats you this way, it can be helpful to identify any patterns that may have contributed to the situation. Mental health therapist Abby Wilson suggests that women can lessen the chances of this happening by reflecting on past patterns and considering why they may have ignored red flags.
In order to find a meaningful relationship, it's important to be aware of your own patterns and do inner work to gain insight into yourself. When dating, try to stay grounded in reality and not get too caught up in emotions. Take time to reflect on the dynamics of the relationship and maintain a healthy perspective. This can help you make better decisions and avoid toxic or unhealthy situations.