Does He Love The Real You Or Just The Idea Of You?


Being in a relationship with a man who accepts you for your true self, including your imperfections, is a precious and uncommon blessing. Regrettably, there may be instances where you discover belatedly that he is only interested in the concept of you and his ideal version of you, leaving no possibility for a genuine connection. The following are indicators that this may be the situation:

1. He Cares Most About Your Looks

While physical attraction can spark a potential romance, it can also be superficial and hinder a deeper connection if it's the only basis. If a guy repeatedly emphasizes your physical appearance to you and his friends, rather than boasting about your other admirable non-physical attributes, it's conceivable that he is merely drawn to someone who appears attractive.


2. He Knew You Liked Him First

The concept of girls being interested in them often intrigues guys. Even if a guy isn't particularly interested in a girl, he may still give it a try since he's a guy. However, if he's easily persuaded but doesn't reciprocate your emotions in a meaningful way, it's possible that he simply enjoys the attention.

3. He Isn't Over His Ex

When a guy incessantly discusses his ex or maintains a close friendship with her, he may not be genuinely invested in your relationship. While it's acceptable to bring up an ex occasionally to share past experiences and foster openness, if it becomes a regular topic of conversation, he's likely not considering your emotions. If he's fixated on his ex, he may view you as a rebound.


4. He's Been Lonely For A Long Time

Perhaps he hasn't had much success in his past relationships. When a woman reciprocates his interest, it can significantly boost his ego, and any opportunity to receive validation will likely make him return for more. If he enjoys the feeling of being with another person, he may not genuinely care about who it is.

5. He Likes Your Lifestyle

Does he explicitly express how awesome you are, or appear overly interested in your social circle and activities? This behavior might suggest that he appreciates your liveliness and thrill-seeking nature, but only because of the exciting events and individuals in your life. If he's overly invested in exploiting your connections or using you as a stepping stone, it's a cause for concern.


6. He's Always Wanted A Stable Relationship

Desperation for a stable relationship can signal that someone is merely drawn to the idea of you. If a guy quickly acknowledges your emotional and mental stability, he might derive a high from that and believe that he no longer needs to worry about tumultuous relationships. If he becomes comfortable too quickly, it's possible that he's simply relieved to finally catch a break.


7. He Likes Doing Things That Happy Couples Do

Having a weakness for "relationship goals" can imply that he's more drawn to the concept than putting in the effort to maintain a genuinely fulfilling relationship. If he always desires to be on the move and showcase to others how wonderful you two are together, he's likely just swept up in the hype.

8. He Thinks He'll Never Be Able To Find Someone Else

Surprisingly, uttering phrases such as "I'll never find someone else like you" is a significant indication that he's simply drawn to the concept of you. When you genuinely love someone, you realize that there are other potential partners out there, but you elect to be with that one person. If he's apprehensive about not finding another partner, it's likely because he's fearful of being alone.


9. He Loves The Feeling Of Love

Distinguishing between loving the person and loving the sensation is crucial. A guy who craves your kisses, embraces, and adoration might be solely satisfying his desire to be loved by someone. This phenomenon is not uncommon among couples. Don't allow it to happen to you.