Determining whether or not he likes you is straightforward. In fact, it's so straightforward that it's absurd how much time women spend attempting to decipher a man's thoughts. To avoid overthinking, ask yourself these clear-cut questions the next time you're uncertain about the situation. They'll help you stay grounded and answer the age-old question of whether he's genuinely interested or just wants a casual hookup.
1. Who's Doing Most Of The Texting?
If a guy is genuinely interested in being your boyfriend, he will make a point to text you frequently, as in almost all the time, without you having to initiate the conversation. There are no exemptions to this rule: if he's into you, he'll text you. We assure you of this. Conversely, if he only wants a casual hookup, he'll only text you when he's in the mood or until you initiate a conversation. Therefore, if you're the one constantly texting him, it's time to halt. Unfortunately, we have to inform you that he's not interested in you; he's just using you.
2. What Happens Before You Hook Up?
When a guy desires to be your boyfriend, he will engage in a variety of activities with you when you spend time together, such as having a meal with you, inviting you to hang out with his friends, watching a film, and so on. Hooking up typically follows after spending time together in non-sexual ways. In other words, it's not a guaranteed outcome, but rather a supplementary benefit.
3. What happens after you hook up?
A guy's conduct before you both hit the sheets will generally be better by default since he's attempting to, well, have sex. However, what's his demeanor like once it's all over? Does he turn over and snooze or, even worse, jump out of bed and make a hasty escape? If he genuinely wants to be your boyfriend, he'll remain for a while after the act to engage in small talk and simply be near you. If this isn't happening, you can rapidly deduce where his interests lie.
4. Who Makes Most Of The Plans?
Who usually initiates the idea of spending time together? If a guy solely wants to hook up, you'll observe that when he does make plans, they're typically impromptu and mainly for nighttime activities. You rarely go out anywhere, instead choosing to hang out at his place or yours because, let's face it, hooking up in public is not an option (unless you want to get in trouble with the law). If you're interested in spending time together outside of the bedroom, but you're always the one suggesting such activities, it's evident that he's searching for something much more laid-back.
5. Does He Bail When Sleeping Together Isn't On The Cards?
When a guy is solely interested in hooking up, he won't be eager to spend time with you if he knows there's no chance of getting physical. You can easily gauge his intentions by informing him before your hangout that you're on your period or have had a long day and just want to relax on the couch. If he abruptly cancels or suddenly has other plans, it's evident that he's not interested in a genuine relationship (or any relationship at all).
6. What Do You Talk About?
A guy who desires to be your boyfriend will genuinely want to converse with you. You'll discuss your lives, friends, and future plans, and you'll feel a bond growing. However, a guy who perceives you as just a hookup won't be interested in your thoughts or emotions. While you may have occasional chats, as you converse with him, you'll sense that he doesn't genuinely connect with you.
7. What Kind Of Compliments Does He Give You?
This guy must have a magnetic personality, or else you wouldn't be intimate with him. However, when you reflect on the things he compliments you on, what are they? If he only praises your physical features rather than your personality or inner qualities, he hasn't delved beyond the exterior and has no intention of doing so.
8. Does He Focus On Your Pleasure At All?
When you engage in sexual activity, how does it go? A guy who wants to be your boyfriend will strive to ensure you also achieve pleasure, rather than just focusing on himself. He's not self-centered and cares about your satisfaction as well. If he's solely concerned about his own pleasure and leaves you to finish on your own, he views you as nothing more than a casual hookup.
9. How Active Is He In The Dating Scene?
Although it might be difficult to determine the definitive answer, it's relatively simple to tell whether he's still using dating apps while he's intimately involved with you. Perhaps he's transparent about seeing other women and prefers to "go with the flow." In that instance, he clearly isn't interested in creating a genuine bond with you or anyone else, and the relationship is unlikely to advance beyond casual intimacy.
10. What Does Your Gut Say?
If a guy wants to be your boyfriend, he will prioritize you and make you feel wanted. You'll feel his interest in you through his actions, and it will be a natural, instinctual feeling. On the other hand, if he only sees you as a hookup, you'll likely be confused by his behavior. He may seem hot and cold, leaving you wondering about his true intentions. Your gut will likely tell you that something's not right, and it's important to listen to it and consider walking away.
How To Make Sure You Don't End Up With A Guy Who Only Wants To Hook Up
Although there's no guaranteed method to completely filter out dishonest individuals and players who manipulate women into sleeping with them, there are some things you can do to significantly decrease the likelihood of ending up with a guy who only wants to hook up with you.
1. Make It Clear What You're Looking For From The Beginning
Being upfront about your intentions and desires is crucial if you're looking for a meaningful, long-term relationship. You don't need to start talking about marriage and children on the first date, but it's important to communicate that you're not just looking for a casual hookup and that you're seeking a deeper connection.
2. Don't Downplay Your Feelings
If you are starting to have feelings for a guy and are taking your almost-relationship seriously, it's important to stay true to yourself. Don't feel like you have to act casual just because he is. If you're concerned that expressing your emotions might scare him away, then he's probably not the right person for you. It's important to stay true to your feelings and not be ashamed of them.
3. Don't Give Him Boyfriend Benefits Before He's Earned Them
As you seek a boyfriend and are experiencing the rush of oxytocin due to being sexually intimate, you may feel the urge to act like his girlfriend even if he's not reciprocating the same level of commitment. If he realizes he can have all the perks of a committed relationship while only engaging in casual hookups, you'll be stuck in an unhealthy cycle. Don't settle for less than what you deserve, and make sure he puts in effort to earn your commitment.
4. Make Sure What Happens Is On Your Terms Too
Don't let a guy dictate everything in the relationship just because you have feelings for him. Don't feel like you have to agree with everything he says or does out of fear of losing him. Remember, you are a part of this relationship too, and if something doesn't work for you, it's not a healthy relationship. Speak up for yourself and your needs, and make sure that both of you are on the same page.
5. Don't Sleep With Him Every Time You Hang Out
Perhaps he suggested watching TV at his place as a way to imply that he wants to hook up, but don't be afraid to challenge that assumption. When you do go over, actually watch TV and engage in meaningful conversations. Take the time to get to know each other and participate in activities that don't solely revolve around sex. Treat it like a normal date and see how he responds.
Being upfront about their intentions would be great for guys, as it would save everyone a lot of time and energy spent trying to decipher their behavior, and it would also help us keep our sanity intact. Fortunately, figuring out where a guy's head is at doesn't require a lot of investigation, just a little honesty with ourselves about what's really going on.
