Published in Sep 2019 / Updated in Oct 2021
Be honest. Can you recognize true love when you see it? What does it mean when a person says they have found true love? What does true love mean to you?
We all want it: that is a fact
We yearn for the day when that special someone will walk into our lives and assure us that the wait was worth it and that true love does indeed exists.
But, you cannot find something if you don't know what it is
So, if you are looking for this kind of love, you first need to understand what true love is.
That is easier said than done since many people who are never meant to be can make your heart race and your mind create beautiful fantasies about a happy future.
And even after getting into a stable and lasting relationship, how do you tell that you finally found "the one" and didn't just settle?
To understand true love, you have to know what a healthy relationship is like
True love is not a magical spell that lasts until it is broken. You have to nurture it with your partner because once you stop helping each other grow, the love, true as it is, will die a natural death.
Then try to understand that there is a difference between being in love and being in love with love.
For the record, being in love is not the same as being in love with love
When in love, you will feel secure, you love your partner as they are, you love yourself and cater to your needs, and understand that arguments are normal in any relationship.
Being in love with love is the complete opposite. You will feel insecure, you want your partner to satisfy a particular checklist, you put your partner's needs above your own, and you avoid conflict out of fear that it might kill the relationship.
Loving someone is not about knowing what makes them happy, but also understanding what makes them sad.
Are you ready for love?
Before you search everywhere for the love of your life, you need to look within and ask yourself: I'm I ready for love?
You cannot love another person without first loving yourself.
What does loving yourself mean?
This has nothing to do with brazen egotism. Instead, loving yourself is about accepting yourself and all your imperfections.
Are you happy with whom you are? Do you respect yourself, your feelings, and even your emotions? Are you ready to stand for what you believe and go after what you want?
If you can answer affirmatively to all these questions, then you can find true love.
How can you expect someone to love you if you can't love yourself? If you don't love yourself, you will not find someone who can.
Keep it real
Leave fairytales where they belong as you look for true love-in movie theaters. With true love, you will have some great times. But there will be hard times as well.
The difference is that with true love, you can overcome any challenge you face.
So, don't let beautiful song lyrics and touching scenes of happy couples on TV delude you into thinking perfect happiness exists where true love exists.
The only thing you will get out of such expectations is a perfect recipe for heartbreaks and a floundering love life.
Have common interests and hobbies
To be happy, you have to share happy moments, have common interests, and enjoy similar hobbies.
You should have a common purpose when working on projects, and you should work well together.
Hobbies improve your self-worth and satisfaction levels, and that makes you appreciate and love yourself more, which makes you feel the same towards your partner.
What's a healthy and lasting relationship like?
- You have mutual friends and your own friends as well. So, you can spend time together or away from each other without issues.
- You can spend time alone without feeling lonely.
- You feel respected and honored in the relationship.
- You let go of the past issues and focus on the future.
In the end, true love takes commitment. There has to be kindness and respect besides the love for the relationship to endure.
Is true love worth pursuing?
Studies show that being married improves cancer survival rates and triples survival rates for heart surgery patients in the first three months.