Experiencing dating jitters is normal, but it could be a sign of a deeper issue. If you have a genuine fear of dating and relationships, here are 12 indicators to look out for.
1. You Feel Physically Ill Before Dates
Feeling nervous before a date is one thing, but when it becomes all-consuming, it may be a sign of a more severe problem. You struggle to sleep or eat and worry incessantly about the upcoming meeting. While others may dismiss it as a simple coffee date, to you, it feels like attempting to climb Mount Everest without preparation.
2. You're EXTREMELY Fussy
While some may view you as picky, there may be a more profound underlying issue at play. For instance, you may have joined Tinder but swiped left on many potential matches, often for insignificant reasons. However, your behavior is not just about fussiness, but rather a fear of getting to know people and having to meet them in person.
3. You've Made A Quick Escape From A Date Before — Without Telling The Guy You Were Leaving
Canceling a date is not uncommon, but if you do it mid-date when everything seems to be going well, it may be an indication of a more profound issue. You may have panicked at the thought of seeing the person again, which terrified you. The prospect of mustering up the courage to go on the initial date was daunting enough!
4. When Things Get Serious, You Flee Before It Can Go Any Further
Relationship fear is something that plagues you. The idea of commitment and things getting too serious with someone makes you uneasy and sends you running. This fear has caused people to view you as unreliable or even a tease, but the truth is that your fear of relationships is the real issue.
5. The Fear Usually Stems From Childhood
The roots of our approach to relationships go back to our childhood. Our parents are the first people to demonstrate how to love and show affection. Unfortunately, if our experiences with them were painful or inadequate, those same patterns carry over into adulthood. If you felt neglected by your parents, for example, you may find yourself avoiding relationships for fear of being neglected again.
6. You Love To Flirt… But That's About It
Flirting and having fun with guys is something you enjoy, but when it comes to going on a real date, you often hesitate. The excitement of the chase is fun because it doesn't involve the pressure of commitment or love. However, when it comes time to take things to the next level, you might throw away that cute guy's number that you got at the bar.
7. You Feel A Nameless Fear
Even when things are going well in a relationship, you can't shake the feeling that something is off. This feeling can arise after just a few weeks of dating, even if there's no clear reason for it. You may find yourself feeling like you shouldn't be dating this guy, even if there's nothing inherently wrong with the relationship.
8. You Sometimes Really Want A Relationship
Despite what others may think, you are not a shallow person who seeks only pleasure. On the contrary, you are quite sensitive and feel deeply. While you desire a fulfilling romantic relationship, your anxiety about dating often hinders your chances of success. Unfortunately, your apprehensions cause you to flee before giving a potential partner a chance to express their feelings towards you.
9. You're Holding Onto The Idea Of Prince Charming
You may think that wanting to avoid relationships is contradictory to having an ideal partner in mind. However, these two ideas are intertwined. You may believe that the men you meet in person or online do not match the standards of your perfect partner, causing you to distance yourself. Perhaps you use this excuse to avoid confronting your fear of commitment or because it is safer to date someone in your imagination than in reality.
10. You Feel Anxious When Others Feel Excited
It's common to see your girlfriends getting nervous about their second date with a great guy, but you can also tell that they're excited. However, when you're in that situation, the nerves feel more like angry wasps of fear and dread instead of "butterflies". This type of anxiety is hard to understand for those who haven't experienced it.
11. When The Guy Ends Things, You're Actually Relieved
You might find that when a guy you're dating decides to end things before you do, you feel a sense of relief rather than stress. Being left alone means that you don't have to worry about sending texts or planning dates, and you can avoid the anxiety that often comes with dating.
12. You've Ghosted Guys Before
While ghosting is not a commendable behavior, you may have been guilty of it in the past because you didn't know how to end the relationships you were in. The anxiety of having to initiate a breakup was overwhelming, so you resorted to using your phone's "block" feature to send the message for you. Some might argue that it's unfair, but you don't intend to be hurtful. Your dating anxiety is simply making it difficult for you to handle these situations in a healthy way.