If you've just met a great guy, exchanged numbers, and agreed to go on a date, you should try to remain relaxed and not get too attached too quickly. It's important to remember that you don't know this person yet and there is no need to start thinking about a future with them. It's okay to be excited about the date, but it's important to keep things in perspective and not get carried away.
It can be difficult to try to control your excitement and let things progress naturally, especially if you have a tendency to get too attached too quickly. However, it is possible to change your behavior and enjoy the present moment. Here are some tips that may help.
1. Avoid getting wrapped up in a fantasy
If you find yourself frequently daydreaming about this guy and idealizing him, it's important to try to stop and focus on the reality of the situation. It's natural to want to imagine a perfect relationship, but it's important to remember that no one is perfect and no relationship is without its challenges. Instead of focusing on an idealized version of this person, try to focus on getting to know the real person and building a healthy and realistic relationship. It's better to be aware of the potential flaws and challenges in a relationship rather than being caught off guard by them later on.
2. Don't sleep with him
When you have sex with someone, it releases the hormone oxytocin in your body, which is often referred to as the "bonding hormone" because it can cause feelings of attachment. If you're not sure about your connection with this person, it may be a good idea to try to keep intimacy emotional rather than physical. This can help you to get to know each other better and make sure that you are on the same page before becoming more physically intimate. It's important to make sure that you are both comfortable and ready before taking any big steps in a relationship.
3. Take some time to hang out with your friends
It's understandable that you may want to focus on building a relationship with a new guy, but it's important to remember to make time for your friends as well. Spending time with your friends can help to keep you grounded and give you a different perspective on your relationship. It's important to maintain a balance and not neglect the other important relationships in your life. Remember to prioritize your friends and take care of yourself as well.
4. See his flaws, not just his good qualities
It's important to remember that no one, male or female, is perfect. It's natural to idealize someone when you first start dating, but it's important to try to see them realistically and accept their flaws. In fact, recognizing and accepting someone's flaws can be an important part of building a strong and healthy relationship. Instead of being put off by someone's flaws, try to see them as a natural part of who they are and appreciate their unique qualities.
5. Don't rush into trying to become official
If you've been single for a while, it's natural to want to find a relationship and start using labels like "boyfriend" and "girlfriend." However, it's important to try to let things develop naturally and not push for a label too soon. The moment you put a label on your relationship, you may feel more attached to it and put pressure on the other person to meet your expectations. Instead, try to focus on getting to know each other and letting the relationship develop at its own pace.
6. Call him out on his BS
At the beginning of a relationship, it's normal for both people to try to impress each other and put their best foot forward. However, if you notice that your new special someone is bragging excessively, exaggerating, or behaving in a way that is disrespectful or inappropriate, it's important to address it. Letting them know that you don't appreciate this behavior can help to set boundaries and determine whether or not they are worth investing in as a partner. It's important to be honest with yourself and the other person about your expectations and values in a relationship.
7. Keep your contact to a minimum
In order to build a real relationship, it's important to spend time with the person and communicate with them regularly. However, it's also important to maintain a balance and not become overly obsessed with them. Try to keep your communication regular but not overly frequent, especially if you are not sure if the person is interested in being in a relationship or dating exclusively. It's important to respect boundaries and give the other person space to make decisions about the direction of the relationship.
8. Hang out with your family and friends
If you find yourself getting too attached to someone, it's important to remember to maintain balance and continue to nurture your other relationships as well. It's easy to get caught up in the excitement of a new relationship, but it's important to make time for your friends and family and continue to prioritize these important connections. These relationships will be with you even if the person you are dating is not, and they can provide valuable support and perspective.
9. Don't let your life revolve around him
It's important to remember that a relationship should not be the only thing you are focusing on in life. While it's natural to be excited about a new relationship, it's important to maintain balance and not neglect other aspects of your life. It's important to remember that you are complete on your own and a relationship should be an addition to your life, not the sole focus. Make sure to continue to pursue your own interests and passions and not lose sight of your own goals and desires.
10. Don't meet his friends or family just yet
It's understandable that you may be eager to meet your partner's friends and social circle, especially around the holidays when there are many social gatherings. However, it's important to make sure that you are both comfortable and ready for this step. Introducing each other to your social circles can be a big step in a relationship and it's important to make sure that you are both on the same page. If you feel like it's too soon to meet each other's friends, it's okay to take things slow and wait until you both feel ready.
11. Forget about the future… for now
If you tend to have a very organized and planned approach to life, it can be easy to get too attached too quickly in a relationship. However, it's important to remember that plans don't always work out and it's okay to let go of a strict schedule and enjoy the present moment. Love and relationships can be unpredictable and it's important to be open to letting things unfold naturally. Instead of trying to control the future, try to focus on the present and let things happen as they are meant to.
12. Dig a little deeper
If you find that you tend to get attached too quickly, it may be because you are not taking the time to get to know the person you are dating and fully understand what they are like. It's important to screen potential partners and make sure that they are worth your time and energy. To do this, try to have deeper conversations and get to know them on a deeper level. This can help you to understand their values, motivations, and what they are really like as a person. It's important to be honest with yourself and the other person and make sure that you are both compatible before investing too much in a relationship.
13. Ask yourself what you really want
It's important to take some time to reflect on why you are getting attached to this guy and what you really want in a relationship. Are you desperate for a relationship or do you genuinely see potential with this person? It's important to be honest with yourself and make sure that you are not settling for someone just because you are looking for a relationship. Consider what you want and need in a partner and make sure that this person aligns with those values. This can help you to avoid getting into a relationship with the wrong person and prevent emotional heartache down the line.
14. Discover your triggers
There can be a variety of reasons why someone might get attached too quickly in a relationship. Some possible causes could include a fear of abandonment, a desire to avoid being single or feeling lonely, or a tendency to become overly invested in a relationship before fully getting to know the other person. It can be helpful to try to understand the underlying reasons behind this behavior in order to change it. Consider seeking therapy or talking to a trusted friend or family member to help you explore these issues and develop healthier relationship patterns.
15. Enjoy the casual bit — it doesn't last forever
It's important to remember to enjoy the early stages of a relationship and not rush things too quickly. The beginning of a relationship can be exciting and it's important to take the time to get to know each other and build a strong foundation. Whether you end up getting married and having a family or breaking up, this early stage of a relationship is fleeting and it's important to savor it. Don't rush things or try to force a relationship to move faster than it naturally would. Instead, try to focus on the present and enjoy getting to know each other.
Why It's Such A Bad Thing To Get Attached Too Quickly
It's natural to feel excited and invested in a new relationship, but it's important to make sure that your behavior doesn't become obsessive or harmful to your emotional well-being. While it's okay to have strong feelings for someone you are dating, it's important to maintain balance and not become too attached too quickly. This can help to protect your mental and emotional health and ensure that you are in a healthy and stable state to pursue a relationship.
1. You neglect the rest of your life
If you get too attached too quickly in a relationship, it can be easy to become so focused on the person that you neglect other important aspects of your life. This can lead to falling behind on responsibilities and goals, as well as damaging your relationships with friends and family. It's important to maintain balance and not lose sight of your own needs and priorities. Taking care of yourself and continuing to pursue your own goals and interests can help you to feel more fulfilled and satisfied, and can also make you a stronger and healthier partner.
2. You overlook red flags
If you get too attached too quickly in a relationship, it can be easy to overlook warning signs or negative behaviors that may be red flags. You may convince yourself that these behaviors are minor or that they will change, but it's important to be honest with yourself and pay attention to these signs. It's important to remember that no one is perfect, but it's also important to be aware of toxic or unhealthy behaviors and to set boundaries to protect yourself. Don't ignore red flags or dismiss negative behaviors - instead, try to address them openly and honestly with your partner.
3. You miss out on the fun part of dating
The early stages of a relationship can be a fun and exciting time, as you get to know each other and explore the potential for a deeper connection. By getting attached too quickly, you may miss out on this carefree and lighthearted stage and instead rush into a more serious dynamic. It's important to take your time and enjoy getting to know each other, rather than rushing into a deeper level of commitment too soon. Trust that things will progress naturally and that you will get to where you are meant to be in due time.
If you have a tendency to get attached too quickly in relationships, consider watching a video by dating expert Adam LoDolce for tips and advice.
