If you see changes in your relationship or need closure, one thing must be on your mind: perhaps he never loved you.
While love’s grand, the best feeling in the world, it can leave scars, hurt, make you question everything.
Being in a one-sided relationship or going through a realization that he wasn’t the one is toxic. Healthy relationships will make you grow, but there’s also a specific power in knowing when to say goodbye.
When you’re in love, your judgment’s not clear, so overlooking your lover’s flaws or shortcomings is quite normal. Yet, when you start noticing certain signs that he never loved you, it isn’t easy to face reality.
That’s why we’re going to talk about these signs, hoping the more you see things clearly, the easier it will be to mend a broken heart.
10 signs he never loved you or that he fell out of love
All guys are different, so no one formula could tell you exactly what happened. But, if you can inspect certain situations, behaviors, you can get a clearer insight into what went wrong.
Your heart might feel broken, but your mind isn’t, so focus on that. Try to be as objective as possible, talk to the ones who love you and who saw you together. Sometimes, these people can give you a new perspective and a wake-up call.
Without further a due, here are the top 10 signs he never loved you or that he fell out of love.
1. He doesn’t have time for you
When we fall in love, we (wrongfully) neglect other relationships because we want to spend our time with the object of our affection.
But, as we get more comfortable, we tend to get back to our responsibilities. This is very important because the moment you start realizing that you’re okay to spend time apart, it can be a sign of true love.
So you get from falling in love into loving someone. Yet, you want to keep the romance alive, and if he’s always canceling on plans, or he’s spending more and more time going out with his buddies, then it was lust.
It doesn’t mean that you meant nothing. His feelings didn’t develop as yours, and now you’re heading in two different directions.
He may feel cozy, but once you stop being a priority, there’s no balance. You’re doing all the hard lifting in a relationship, and that’s a red flag.
2. He’s bored
Obviously, the longer you’re in a relationship, the more flaws you get to know about each other. Yet, if there’s love, respect, communication, you should not have to listen to someone constantly complaining about the smallest things.
If a guy keeps telling you about his past and his adventures before you met, it’s a red flag.
This state of constant boredom while reminiscing about his old life is not healthy for either of you. Both of you are becoming less engaged with your relationship, and you go from love into the opposite direction – indifference.
3. Your sex life took a turn for the worse
Sex and intimacy are vital pieces of a relationship. Sex alone doesn’t make a relationship, but feeling desire, lusting for someone, opens communication channels and takes your intimacy levels above and beyond.
But what If there is no spark anymore? What if there was never spark, just two people who happen to be in the same room, doing the deed?
If your partner’s feelings were ever true, sex felt raw, powerful, and you both wanted to please each other as much as possible. There was no holding back.
Great sex doesn’t always involve loving feelings, but having sex with the person you love is majestic. And there’s no way to fake that feeling.
A combination of sex life and other signs he never loved you is enough for you to lock your heart and head for that man.
4. Playful teasing is one thing, but bringing our your flaws is not loving
Often, we want to think that we’re in love with someone, but the truth has to come out one way or another.
Usually, it’s in the small stuff. Was he playfully teasing you, or was he destroying your self-worth, self-confidence?
Did you feel like you’re not good enough? Perhaps you even felt as you’re irritating him. If he spent a lot of time complaining about everything you do, or you are, that was not love.
Perhaps he loved you, but all these little things point to one thing: he’s no longer in love. He just couldn’t bring himself to say it out loud.
5. No affection and no confirmation
Some couples can’t keep their hands from each other. Others are way more discreet. But, showing affection is essential, and it can be as simple as asking about your day.
If you felt the need to ask him about his feelings all the time, yet you were afraid to, you already know that he never loved you.
Affection, romance, small yet grand gestures, combined with being your man’s biggest fan and vice versa, are all parts of a healthy relationship.
Man doesn’t even have to talk about his feelings to let his woman know that he cares deeply. In fact, without action, words are useless.
So, do the hard part: remember how many times you had that dreadful feeling in your stomach that something’s wrong. How many times did you make him a romantic dinner, and all you got is more complaining? Or how much you waited for some signal that he’s in the same place as you.
Even if he said “I love you” million times, by not showing it, he gave you a clear sign that he never loved you.
6. Making plans is not possible
Perhaps you had it all figured out, but there was no feedback from your (former) partner.
Not talking about your future goals or making plans together is a sign of a one-sided relationship.
In healthy partnerships, things are pretty much equal all the time. You daydream together, mark places you need to see, talk about moving in or having kids. It all comes effortlessly.
Yet, if you didn’t have those conversations because he was always busy with his phone, friends, or simply didn’t feel like talking, that’s not love.
7. Communication was never there
Opening up about your feelings is just a small portion of communication in a relationship.
Being comfortable to ask hard questions to make plans is part of a healthy, steady relationship.
If the man in question seems bothered with your questions, even annoyed, he may be having a tough time.
But, if he’s simply failing to communicate with you, yet he has no problems talking to his friends, that’s a red flag.
Talking about everything and anything and being open, vulnerable can be rewarding. It’s a way of building a life together. But, if there are only you and your guy’s head is somewhere else, that’s not love.
8. In your gut, you already know that he never cared
Don’t dismiss your gut feeling. That annoying voice inside you knew how to read the signs that he never loved you long before you were ready to face them.
Stop ignoring your gut and that silly little voice. Instead of focusing on how much you love this guy, listen to what your body is telling you.
It’s hard to accept something that feels like the ultimate betrayal or defeat. However, it’s much easier to understand that it’s better to be single than to live in a lie.
Because, if you’re alone in a relationship, it’s all one big fat lie. Your relationship isn’t real, and no matter how you spin it, you know that you should move on.
9. You don’t trust him (anymore)
He promised you the world, but instead, all you got is pain, suffering, and stress.
If your former partner gave you promises or told you things because he felt that he should, he lost your trust.
Moreover, you felt neglected, ignored, and if you brought up his previous promises, he would act like you’re demanding.
When a man loves a woman, he does his best to see her smile, not frown.
10. Finally, he was (borderline) abusive
Abuse doesn’t mean that you had to have marks across your face or body.
Being rude, making you do things you didn’t want to, guilt-tripping you, manipulating are all clear signs that he never loved you.
Calling you names, forgetting about your plans, and never apologizing is enough to stop questioning yourself and start the healing.
He doesn’t care about your feelings. And that’s not just unhealthy. That’s unfair. There’s someone worthy of your love out there, so if you feel like your mind’s trapped with feelings about your ex, shift the focus on what a healthy relationship looks like.
Don’t punish yourself for loving someone who never loved you back. Celebrate knowing that you’re capable of loving, and there’s so much you will give to someone great.