It's me again. We seem to meet in this place many times.
I know you are there and listening. But God I am having a rough time. My heart is hurting, I feel defeated. I feel so lost on what I need to do next.
Whenever I feel like things are finally going right and in the right direction, something always seems to be thrown my way. I am struggling with comparison. I see so many around me succeeding but they are doing things so wrong and different. They aren't living an honest life. God, I feel frustrated. I am trying so hard to be kind, and patient. Once I think, " Yeah! Things are finally looking up!" then something happens, I get bad news, or discouragement from the enemy.
I know that Your Word says we will have many trials and tests but I am slowly starting to feel burnt out. I know that as long as I persist and hold fast to Your promises, things will come to pass. Sometimes though God, I have a hard time remembering these things. When will it be my turn?
Whether it be my circumstances or people around me. My heart is tired, and hurting.
I give and give to those around me just to be forgotten about, left in the dust. To be honest it sucks. I know some people are in our lives for only a season. Some may even only be there to teach us lessons in life, which I am grateful for. Sometimes I miss how things used to be. In reality I know they are gone for good, and really they were pretty toxic to be around. My world is less chaotic and calmer.
Dear God, I'm exhausted.
Being a stay-at-home mom is hard. Some days it feels like no one sees me. I teach the kids, I clean up everyone's mess. No one says thank you. All they say is, "Hey mom can you make me a sandwich?" or, "Have you seen my keys?". Honestly, I feel like screaming some days. I know this seems to be my calling, and this is where you want me to be right now but gosh it is hard.
Sometimes I want alone time, quietness, be who I used to be. Then the guilt sets in. Please renew my heart and transform me so I can be the mom and wife I need to be. The one You created me to be. I know You gave those babies and husband to me for a reason, some times it is hard to see though.
Dear God, I am asking for a heart transformation.
Give me the heart to understand and see things the way You see them. Help me to see the good in whatever situation I may be in. Help me to continue to be a good friend regardless of how I may be treated. Help me to be the parent and spouse I need to be.
Thank You for the breath in my lungs. Thank you for my hurting heart, because I know it won't always be like this. You do everything for good. Thank You for always reminding me who I am.