2019, what a year you were.

What a year you were! It is April in 2020, and I just now found the time to reflect on our experience together. It is not because I was too busy. I find it hard to finally open my heart to emotions I cannot seem to understand and express fully.

To be honest, it is not that I did not have time. I did not have the courage and persistent will to face myself, my ghosts and my angels. But memory cannot be put permanently on the shelf of our being. It is time I open my books and take account of one or two things that made me who I am today.

Thank you for the pain.

Thank you, 2019, for the pain. I did not know I would have it in me to thank you for all the trouble and distress you have brought me. Back then, I cursed you for being cruel and distorted, a burden to my weary existence. I fell in love and I was turned away. Having tried to make friends, I felt discouraged, because they refused me.

I did not understand why love and friendship offerings are looked down upon. What happened to us, humans? Have we lost the heart to love and reach out to our fellow neighbors? How come fear has made a permanent mark in our hearts and deprived love of its shelter?

The Big City Spins.

The big city, the lights, the business have all struck us indifferent to the needs of our family, friends, and fellow strangers.

Our phones and the internet have made communication fast and easy to the expense of real, fleshed-out, face to face conversations and relationships.

I am not trying to bury the phone and the internet. I am trying to shed light and understanding to our convoluted preference for the fast delivery of information, without real meaning and warmth to its message.

We are not robots. We are men, women, gays, and lesbians, and other members of the gender spectrum who have something honest and real to tell each other. In 2020 I will be more real and honest with my relationships and dealings with other people.

Thank you for the life.

I will not thank you as much for the joy, 2019. Joy makes me forget the lessons and insights I worked hard to live by. But for the record, thank you, nonetheless, for the short bursts of happiness and long intervals of inner peace and confidence I enjoyed, because of the values you taught me.

Thank you for the strength to work to pay the light, the rent, and phone bills. We are grateful for the extra money, time, and energy to give to strangers who are in need. We rejoice for the love our family and friends have given and showed us, so we can be better people.

2019, thank you for this letter. Because you have taught me what the universe knows and the principles it lives with accordingly, I am more compassionate. Thank you for the hard work and trust in one another to go after another year.

2020 is as good as any other year. It is up to me to make it so. Farewell, and thank you. We are all alive and grateful.