Relationships have many deal-breakers, and for some people, herpes is a big one. At least it is until you realize that this person has more to offer than any other partner you have ever had up until that point in time.
Having herpes is certainly a big shock, but it does not mark the end of your dating life. After all, about 1 in 6 people aged between 14 and 49 years have this condition.
The way the person tells you about the condition obviously matters.
Someone who is usually struggling with telling someone they have HSV-2 after sleeping with them is probably not worth dating. Honesty in weighty matters such as this can make all the difference.
As you know, learning that you have herpes can completely turn your life around. So, when someone hides this important information from you and insists on dating you, that's a huge red flag.
However, if the person comes straight out and lets you know they have this condition and would like to date you, then he/she might be worth a shot.
Many people get the disease innocently.
Maybe their partner cheated on them, and they ended up getting the infection in the process.
So, while it's generally not a good idea to date someone with herpes since you increase your risk of contracting the disease, it can still be done if you know how to go about it.
Is Dating Someone With HSV-1 (Herpes) A Good Idea?
Any well-adjusted human being would feel bad for taking it out on someone simply because of a health condition. But that guilt does not necessarily mean dating someone with herpes is a great idea.
No. You are not a jerk if you don't want to date someone with herpes.
If you don't understand the risks or feel comfortable in that relationship, then it does either of you any good to keep the relationship going.
A healthy relationship should bring satisfaction and joy to both partners.
So, if the idea of kissing someone with HSV-1 does not register in your head, it might be worth giving your infected date a pass until you are comfortable with the idea of dating someone who suffers from this condition.
A simple way of knowing that someone is worth dating despite the herpes is that they remain your ideal partner despite their condition.
Use Protection All The Time
If you use protection all the time, then you can probably date someone with herpes and still avoid contracting the disease. Obviously, there are times you can have sexual contact with someone who has the virus and not get infected. But to be completely safe, you have to use protection all the time.
And while we are on the subject, you should know how to use a condom properly.
Incorrect condom use might be all it takes to end up getting the virus.
Protection, however, does not begin and end with condoms. Your infected partner should also use dental dams and antiretrovirals. Many couples have spent years together without infecting each other with herpes despite having regular physical intimacy.
It's all a question of learning to keep yourself and your partner safe.
You'll Have To Get Past The Stereotypes
The biggest problem with herpes infections is that they attract a lot of stigma from society. Generally, people with this condition are assumed to have serious moral flaws.
To be honest, that is the main reason most people refuse to date people with this condition. And yet, the condition can be effectively managed, and its rate of transmission brought very low.
Besides, freedom from STIs does not mean someone is not guilty of sexual promiscuity or perversion. Some people get the disease while trying to pursue normal and honest relationships.
There is no point letting the love of your life slip away, so you are left saying, "if only he/she didn't have herpes… " many years later.
If Your Love For Your Partner Is Greater Than Your Fear Of Herpes, Then It's Worth It
At the end of the day, we want partners who bring out the best in us. If you think being with this person is worth the risk of contracting HSV-1 or HSV-1, then it might be a worse idea if you bail on the relationship.
In any relationship, there are usually concerns, and with herpes simplex, it's no different. You have to know if you are ready for a life with this person despite their imperfections. Nobody is perfect, so it's all a matter of tolerance.
As far as some people are concerned, some people are worth getting herpes from. In other words, these people are worth a shot, and there will always be such folks around us.
When it's all said and done, we should date people for who they are.
If they have a condition you are not particularly crazy about, then understand them and bear with it. After all, people date people with life-threatening health conditions far worse than herpes all the time without feeling like that should be an issue.
So, why should it be any different with this common sexually transmitted disease?
Still, what's important is not whether anyone else says that it's okay to date someone with herpes. The most critical decision to make is whether someone is worth dating regardless of whether they have HSV-1 or HSV-2.
Let's face it; true love can endure a lot more than a manageable and mildly embarrassing health condition. That is why we have guys saying my girlfriend has HSV-1 and I still love her and live with her because herpes is not the ultimate determinant if the person is worth dating or not.