Dating Red Flags Checklist: Should You Be Backing Away Slowly?

The first time you decide someone is worth dating, you often feel you have found the only perfect human being in the world. But time always has a way of revealing the ugly truth about people.

People are complicated, and it’s easy to get the wrong impression of someone if you are not careful enough. That is clearly why relationships can get so difficult.

But easy or not, some relationships are not worth pursuing. Sure, nobody is perfect, and even the perfect partner will have some flaws. If you see these dating red flags, then it’s clearly time to start backing off slowly and take off at top speed as soon as you are at a safe distance.

Here is a dating red flags checklist to help you know if your date is more than you signed up for:

1. They Put You On A Pedestal

Dating Red Flags Checklist: Should You Be Backing Away Slowly?

There are few things more satisfying than getting attention for what you are good at, especially from those we admire. However, being worshipped is something you should never take pride in.

Understand that to this person you are not real. What they see instead is an illusion of the partner they have in their minds. Needless to say, you can never live up to that, and sooner or later, that illusion will end.

This person will then see you as a deeply flawed human being, and they will be disappointed in you on a profound level. Few things can be as miserable as being vulnerable to someone who sees the worst in you.

Also, getting excessive praise and admiration is a huge red flag of an insecure man or woman. That is why being put on a pedestal should be high on your dating red flags checklist.

2. You Notice Signs Of Non-Commitment

Dating Red Flags Checklist: Should You Be Backing Away Slowly?

We are not saying your date should commit to you as soon as you decide to have a second date. But if the vibe feels right and everything seems perfect, and they are still holding back, then that is a huge red flag.

Here are some reasons you should steer clear of such dates.

First, there is always a reason someone has a problem committing, and it’s usually a serious one. For instance, the person may not be as into you as you might be expecting.

It’s also possible your date is committed to someone else.

If you notice commitment issues with your partner, then that is a serious red flag, and you should back off before it’s too late.

3. They Want The Relationship To Move Fast

Dating Red Flags Checklist: Should You Be Backing Away Slowly?

Those of you wondering if it is a red flag if a guy or girl moves too fast, the answer is yes, it is.

People who want to rush a relationship and accelerate its natural pace often have an ulterior motive or at least a reason you should be worried about.

One possibility is that the person is on the rebound and is trying to get into a serious relationship as soon as possible to wash off the terrible aftertaste of a recently ended important relationship.

Another reason people want to move fast is that they are serial monogamists. It’s also possible you are dating a malignant narcissist.

All of these scenarios should have you walking away from this person as fast as possible because no happy ending awaits you in such a relationship.  

4. They Only Get In Touch When They Need Something

Dating Red Flags Checklist: Should You Be Backing Away Slowly?

When you start dating, part of the process is doing each other small favors to build rapport. That is perfectly fine.

But someone who maintains radio silence until they have a favor to ask of you is a huge risk.

When dating the right person, that person feels the urge to talk to you all the time, and not just when they require something from you.

That is why being called up only for sex or money is a serious red flag to have on your checklist.

In all likelihood, to this person, you are nothing more than a means to an end. What you have is a transactional relationship. There are no real emotions holding your romance together.

5. They Are Always Badmouthing Their Exes

Dating Red Flags Checklist: Should You Be Backing Away Slowly?

One of the red flags you should never ignore, although many people do, is the negative comments some people make about their exes.

It means one of these two things: your date is a terrible person in general, or they still have some unfinished business with the ex. Both of these possibilities are giant red flags in a relationship.

Dating someone who is still bitter or resentful towards the exes is a powerful sign that they will soon have similar things to say about you. So, why wait?

Is that all as far as dating red flags go?

Obviously, no. There are many other dating red flags to put on your checklist, but these are pretty common. Even with online dating, you will find these problems during your involvement with imperfect dates.

Ignoring serious red flags is why many people end up in toxic and abusive relationships or suffer so terribly as victims of domestic violence.

And do you need a red flags checklist?

As long as you are dating, yes, you do. But before you pull the plug and call it a deal-breaker red flag, have a conversation with your date before ditching them. Try to understand where they are coming from.

If the red flag is brought about by insecurities, then it might be worth trying to help your partner feel more secure about themselves or the relationship. If your date underwent emotional abuse and now projects the fears that came with the experience onto you from time to time, it does not necessarily mean they are unfit for you.

Also, remember that no partner will ever be perfect for you the first time you meet. That said, some relationship red flags should never be ignored.