Hannah ActonPublished in October 2019 / Updated in January 2021
Okay here me out, guys – I know you think you’ve heard it all before. The young guys are too immature, they don’t want what we want.
I personally just love the salt and pepper look. Top stuff, gents.
But seriously, the classic reasons are all classics for a reason. Experience brings wisdom. Older guys generally know better than to treat you like trash. Or, they made those mistakes in their youth and are in a position to do better now. People forget that older men are the same men that were young, just grown up. Like, that’s just how the logic works, lol.
When we say we like older guys, we aren’t talking about an alien species.
It’s just a time jump that brings a little patience and support. We deserve the best. The right guy – who will treat you the way you deserve – is out there for you. There’s no reason you should pressure yourself or push for what you aren’t ready for. Don’t worry about what other people are doing around you – they don’t matter. Seriously, it’s your life that you need to live – not theirs.
You can’t judge your success on their terms, or constantly be comparing yourself to them, because then you can never win. Or feel satisfied. That will be because you are living your life by other people’s timelines and stressing yourself needlessly over something over which you have little control. Emotions and the heart are liable at any given moment in time to do whatever the hell they want. Therefore, it stands to reason that we are sort of wasting our time trying to fit into someone else’s template.
As soon as you accept that you aren’t in a rush to find your forever relationship with the first guy you come across as a teenager, the better you can assess the situation. I retain to this day that Romeo and Juliet would have never happened if they hadn’t been 13 and 18 and very stupid. I mean, bless them, obviously – but a little common sense and patience for the future goes a long way.
If relationships aren’t working for you at the moment, think about why.
It’s often the age range you’re looking at. There’s nothing wrong with you, either. People are constantly worried about whether they are behind or ahead in the cosmic game of life markers that we are constantly surrounded by the media. You can’t go three paces without a Facebook engagement announcement or honeymoon insta spree. Sometimes, that’s just not where you’re at. That’s perfectly chill. It’s better that you don’t waste any more of your own time. Or indeed, the guys your own age.
Maybe, it’s just the offer of something new. You’ll never know until you try it out. Sometimes you need to try something rogue just to know that you don’t like it. Maybe that’s the case for you guys too. I won’t pretend that older guys are everyone’s cup of tea.
But think about it.
Unresolved daddy issues? Financial security? Maybe damaged slightly but in all the right ways… Perhaps he just rocks the dad bod and it does something unexplainable to you. You don’t have to explain yourself. I just suggest that you don’t knock it ‘till you try it. Learn more about yourself and your needs!
I know the feeling. It’s late-night on a Tuesday evening and Taylor Swift’s RED album is playing. You’re feeling all sorts of feels. Mostly angsty heartbreak emotions, but you also circle back to the good old days. The rose-tinted, ‘god we were great, weren’t we?’ glasses are fully back on again. Whether or not they really ought to be. Maybe you just watched the Gilmore Girls revivals and you’re feeling nostalgic. Maybe it’s been long enough and your heart feels ready to give it another go.
Who knows, you might be right.
Some friends of mine are compulsive partners – they always need a Person that they can love. To put all their eggs in that emotional basket. That’s fine, most of the time, and as long as they’re fairly self-aware, that’s their cross to bear. But that’s often the cycle of relationships that you can get caught in when you’re going for younger guys because no one your age knows what they really want. nothing wrong with that, but maybe it’s just more efficient to start with one part of the couple who is a little older, and therefore does know what they want.
But again, I stress – that’s completely their decision and not something I judge them for. We all have our own distinct emotional needs.
In short: give it a go!
Maybe you’ll realise that your dish needs a little salt and pepper after all!