My dating methods have proven to be ineffective, and I acknowledge the need for a change. Starting from scratch is daunting, but it is necessary. To break old habits, I am implementing the following steps:
1. I'm Not Giving Dating So Much Weight
In the past, I would obsess over guys and analyze their every move, especially at the beginning of a relationship. However, I am now approaching dating as a leisure activity that is not crucial to my existence. If things work out, that's great, but if not, it's not the end of the world. Ultimately, dating should be enjoyable.
2. I'm Making It A Bonus Part Of My Life
I am content with not dating. My days are filled with various activities that require my time and energy. Although going out on dates is exciting, I am equally satisfied with spending a night in and appreciating my current lifestyle. Either way, I am content.
3. I'm Taking It Much More Slowly
Previously, I would dive into dating with reckless abandon. Since I struggle to find someone I genuinely like, I become overly enthusiastic when I do. Unfortunately, this leads me to become too invested before realizing we may not be compatible. To avoid this issue, I need to slow down and refrain from rushing into relationships.
4. I Give The Rest Of My Life Priority
I've learned not to make guys my top priority. It hasn't brought me any benefits in the past, so I try to maintain my usual lifestyle while making room for a new relationship. This approach allows me to avoid feeling devastated if things don't work out.
5. I Don't Put So Much Pressure On It
I have a tendency to make dating too serious too soon, which can kill the vibe. I am naturally intense, and if a relationship ends, I fear that I will never find someone I like again, especially since I don't come across many people I like.
6. I Talk Instead Of Hiding My Feelings
One of my biggest flaws when it comes to dating is my inability to address issues maturely. I tend to get anxious and worry that things will fall apart, which only makes things worse. I'm working on changing this behavior because it is detrimental to my relationships.
7. I Bring Up My Worries Immediately
I used to keep my thoughts to myself and let them fester until I became overly angry. Now, I make a point of addressing issues immediately, so they don't become blown out of proportion. This approach helps me stay level-headed and prevents me from losing my mind.
8. I Stay Out Of My Head
Retraining myself is no walk in the park, and I have to admit that it's easier said than done. However, I'm making progress, even though I tend to get trapped in my own thoughts and struggle to get out. It takes continuous effort to break the habit.
9. I Remind Myself Not To Take It So Seriously
Taking things too seriously has always been a challenge for me, but I'm learning to loosen up as I age. I still need to keep my intensity in check, though. Although I can't change who I am, I can choose to enjoy life more.
10. I Treat A New Guy Like A New Friend
Nowadays, I am more relaxed about my self-esteem. Instead of allowing it to be dependent on him, I view him as a new friend. After all, besides the physical aspect, is there really any difference? It should be a similar experience.
11. I Don't Make Every Fight A Huge Deal
It's always been tough for me to determine what issues are worth ending a relationship over and which aren't. As a result, I used to believe that any disagreement could end things. Now, I try to remember that we're all human and imperfect, and that differences exist.
12. I Speak Up For Myself
In all honesty, I have learned to express myself instead of concealing my thoughts and evading confrontation. If I keep my feelings to myself, the relationship is bound to fail. It is only when I communicate and my partner remains indifferent that I realize it is time to move on.
13. I Try To Remember That Guys Can't Read My Mind
I used to presume that my ideal partner would understand me to such an extent that I wouldn't have to say a word. However, that is an unrealistic expectation. In reality, I must make an effort to articulate myself. Only then can I be understood and appreciated by my significant other.
14. I Have Fun With It — That's How It Should Be!
Why would I bother with dating if it feels like an obligation? I already have enough responsibilities to deal with. I used to feel this way until I stopped overthinking and began to enjoy the process. It's funny how that works.
15. I Trust My Gut Instincts
Following your intuition is often suggested, but what people don't often acknowledge is that it can be difficult to differentiate between your instincts and your emotions. This is particularly challenging when other aspects of life are impacting your state of mind. Now, I take the time to evaluate my emotions and recognize when it is my gut, rather than my issues, that is guiding me.
