Ahh, Aquarius. An often underrepresented zodiac sign. In a world full of Geminis and obnoxious Virgos that use the fact that Mercury is in retrograde to excuse their relationship status, Aquarius men tend to be more chill.

However, that said. Relationships can often be difficult and fraught for such headstrong and assertive personalities. 

In a situation like this it’s so important to set boundaries and make sure that you communicate what you want out of the relationship.

Otherwise it’s down hill and there’s nothing you or I can do about it. 

The thing is, Aquarius guys think they can stick it alone. 

They can’t, trust me.

I’m not going to lie to you, guys, being alone is tough. Really tough. It’s also not helped by the changing seasons as the hot girl summer migrates into autumnal nostalgia when the leaves fall, the first rounds of gingerbread mochas are ordered, and the early notes of the Gilmore Girls theme rings out. Yes, it’s 2019 and your Lorelai still hasn’t found her Luke. Woe is me.

But as you rewatch an ungodly amount of wholesome noughties feel good television and consume an entire pint of Ben & Jerry’s it will occur to you that you don’t want to feel sad and alone. You might be single, but it doesn’t mean you have to be sad or pitiful (not, of course, that watching Gilmore Girls constitutes being pathetic, that would be sacrilege).

We all want to feel like we should be able to cut it alone, but that’s easier said than done.

It’s our natural instinct to band together and form communities around adversity. But not always. Sometimes, it’s the lone wolves that, through necessity, grow stronger and more resilient than the pack wolves with a soft underbelly. 

While I love a pep-talk with my mum as much as the next gal, there are some realisations that we must come to alone. Not just when we are on our own, but when we feel at our lowest or drifting away, that can often bring the greatest perspective and clarity. It’s a long journey and there isn’t necessarily a specific end-goal in learning to be comfortable alone, but it’s so worth it if you feel even slightly more self sufficient. 

I mean, not that there’s anything wrong with being alone – they just can’t generally last it out.

Equally, having spent so much time in their own company, relationships often pose a threat of their own. 

This is contentious, but the independent streak and inability to take orders often leads to Aquarius men – in particular – being cheaters. That is by no means universal or to say that all Aquarius men are that way inclined.

But it is what it is. 

That’s where you need to trust yourself enough to walk away if the relationship is not for you.

We all have those moments of doubt and insecurity in relationships. That’s inevitable. Humans aren’t infallible, nor should they be. If everyone was just robotic and said exactly what we were meant to say, where would the fun and surprise of life be? That said, we also acclimatise to toxic environments which aren’t good for us.

We need to be better at recognising that we deserve better than what we sometimes get. Often, we might be investing more of ourselves and putting our time on the line for a relationship that isn’t being reciprocated in the same way. also, we often feel guilt for thinking about stepping away from such relationships, as though we are withdrawing a service that we ‘owe’ another person. We don’t owe people anything in this world, not inherently. Not if they’re not giving us the same in return, it’s just not emotionally sustainable. You end up expending and exhausting yourself and having nothing left for yourself. 

Therefore, we need to recognise and relearn our power to say ‘no’ and mean it.

Or to tell the people around us what we need when we need it. We don’t need to become dictators or totalitarians to do this, or to control the relationship, we just need to have an active and equal part in it. If we want to know where the relationship is headed, that’s perfectly within our rights. Should your partner not be on the same page as you, that’s fine – but that’s the signal to leave the relationship. If you explicitly do not have a future there, then you’re both wasting each other’s time and effort, and making things harder for yourself in the long term. 

Basically, if the problem can’t be resolved through conversation or communication, the only other pathway is to breakup. If you aren’t going to put the effort in, both of you, then you have to be able to leave. Maybe you got used to how the relationship dynamic worked, being left on read, not able to make solid plans, and feeling like you’re never prioritised. But that’s not how relationships should be.

You should be prioritised. Simple as. 

If you are your partner’s favourite person, then obviously their conduct with your should reflect that. If not, then you should feel no guilt in exiting a rapidly progressing situation. As soon as it’s toxic, you’re in trouble, because it becomes harder and harder to extract yourself and your emotions. 

So, in conclusion…

It’s well worth your time dating an Aquarius man, however, be careful. 

Trust your heart and listen to your instincts.