A dad wants to know if it was okay for him to clean out his daughter's college funds account after she ruined her aunt's wedding dress. Of course, the internet never disappoints, and he quickly got many opinions about his drastic actions.
What do you think about this? Here is the whole story.
Wedding Dresses Are A Big Deal For A Bride
A bride takes a lot of time choosing a wedding dress, and once they pick one, they attach a huge sentimental value to it.
We even have a few superstitions attached to this special gown. For instance, allowing the groom to see you in your wedding dress before the wedding is believed to bring bad luck.
On top of that, these dresses can be quite expensive, and they can represent a huge financial commitment. Some people save for years just to afford their dream wedding dress.
Dad Wanted To Know If It Was Okay To Ruin His Kid's Life For A Dress
The dad put up his story on Reddit. The young dad was curious to know if he was wrong for using his daughter's college savings to compensate for the dress she had ruined.
This is the story he shared:
"Ex(31) and I(m32) had C, (F16) way too young. We're friendly co-parents. One big rule we share is if our daughter breaks something, she pays for it."
"Now, sis (27) and I are the only grandkids. Aunt never married. Instead, she worked with Gma and Gpa at their store, and took it over when they retired."
"Sis's girlfriend (29) proposed last year. Gpa offered to make FSIL a custom suit, which she was over the moon about. Gma had me ask Sis what her dream dress was and record the convo. Sis, thinking it was just between us, told me in great detail what her dream dress was, though said it was way too expensive, so she would get something much cheaper."
"Well, a few months later Gma surprised Sis with her dream wedding dress. It fit perfectly and everyone cried."
After Making The Wedding Dress, Grandma Passed On
"Sadly, Gma recently passed away, which hit us all hard. Sis was devastated, but decided that the dress meant Gma would still be there with us at the wedding."
Daughter Told Not To Try The Dress
"The issue comes in with C. She's very large, much larger than Sis. Three days ago, we decided to go visit Sis and see how she was doing. It was great, but then C asked if she could try on the dress. Sis politely said no. C made a face, but dropped it."
"Later, we decided to go grab dinner. Sis and I went to pick up our orders, but C decided to stay and play with Sis's dog."
Dress Hacked To Bits
"We got back, and the dress was destroyed. C had apparently tried to get it on, popping some seams, and got stuck. Instead of waiting for help, she cut her way out. The dress was hacked to bits."
Dress Mainly Handmade, Cost 12,000 Dollars
"Sis was devastated and asked us to leave. I grounded C, and called Aunt with some pictures, asking if it could be saved. She said no. She said she'd make a new one, but it wasn't the same. Then she dropped the bomb on me - Gma had hand-sewed most of the dress, used super expensive fabric, and put almost 500 hours in making that dress since it was the only family wedding we'd have. In total, the dress cost 12,000 dollars, give or take."
Daughter's 15,000 Dollars In College Savings Used To Cover The Damage
"C has about 15,000 saved from various jobs, as well as winning writing competitions. This was supposed to help her in college."
"I took her to the bank and set in motion transferring all the funds since as her parent I still have control over it. $12k to Aunt to pay for the new dress. $3k to my sister's wedding, as an emotional distress tax."
"I explained exactly why this was happening to C, but she sobbed the entire time, asking what was she supposed to do for college and saying it wasn't her fault. I told her she could get a job if she didn't get a scholarship, and it was her fault for trying on the dress after she'd been told no, and for not waiting until we got back. A few popped seams could have been fixed. Hacking the dress to pieces couldn't."
Ex Says Dad "Ruined" The Girl's Future For A "Free" Dress
"C told my ex, and while she agreed C was in the wrong after the full story, said I shouldn't have "ruined her future" for a "free" dress. I reminded her of our rule, and she still thinks I'm wrong."
"So, am I the as*hole here?"
The man later made these edits to the story:
"Since people are mentioning they don't understand the 3k, that was to make up to my sister that C destroyed the last gift our dead grandma ever gave her. I consider that part of the price of destroying the dress since even if Aunt remakes it, it lost a great deal of its sentimental value."
"I pointed out how young we had her because I wanted to explain how a 31-year-old has a 16-year-old kid. I do not resent having her, she's the best thing I've ever done. I also brought up C's size because Sis has Crohn's disease, and thus is very tiny. The dress was made for her size, and C is much larger than Sis. I love C as she is, but just holding the dress up, it was clear it wouldn't fit."
"To clarify, the money was C's "have fun at college" money, not her college fund. My ex and I are paying for whatever scholarships don't. When she was asking what she would do for college, she was asking what'd she do for fun and to buy things we didn't pay for. Again, the character count is very limiting, so I had to cut details to post."
The Internet's Opinion On The Matter
Many people were of the opinion that the girl "ruined" her own future. Apparently, a wedding dress isn't worth $12,000 or even more, it's priceless.
Such dresses are usually passed down for generations, and it's therefore horrifying for the girl to do such a thing. In other words, the dad was right to use her savings to compensate for the dress, considering that many college students don't go to college with all that cash as savings.
Another pointed out that the family had a "you break it, you pay for it rule," which means the dad did the right thing by making the girl pay for the dress.
Commenters also noted that the girl was warned about trying to wear the dress, but she did it anyway. Therefore, the dad was not the a**hole for using her savings to compensate for the damage she caused.
The Girl Should Have Known Better
According to another comment, the girl was old enough to know better because a 16-year-old knows that actions have consequences. This commenter applauded the dad for making the girl pay for her thoughtlessness.
Yet another mentioned that the dad was a good parent and that the punishment was very fitting. It should help the girl understand the impact of what she did.
Did She Destroy The Dress On Purpose?
Some were suspicious of the girl's actions. One particular person wondered why the girl would respond by hacking the dress to bits with scissors, which sounds intentional.
Another person thinks the dress was worth more since 12k was just the cost of raw materials. That means the dead grandma's labor was worth more than 3k.
All in all, lots of people believed the girl ruined the dress on purpose. Normal people don't cut up clothes with scissors when they are a little too tight.
While saying the punishment was appropriate, another commenter said that it would also be fitting if the girl was not invited to the wedding since the dress meant so much after being handmade by the girl's deceased grandma.
Clearly, the online moral court thinks the dad did the right thing by emptying his daughter's college account to pay for the dress she had ruined, even though the girl's mother thought otherwise. To be honest, some reaction was clearly warranted here, but do you think the dad went too far?