Since our childhoods, we have let Disney fairy tales tell us what romance, true love, and happiness is all about, but happiness takes more than being the love of princes who find their way to us through glass slippers. Real happiness takes conscious love and emotional maturity.
True love is not about finding the perfect person, because no such person exists. Even we ourselves can admit that we are not completely perfect in our sight. So, why would anyone else?
What you need to focus on is finding the ideal person for you. Perfection is a fantasy, and true love does not come from other people, it comes from within. If you are not aware of true love and what it feels like, there is no way it will mean anything to you even if it comes from someone else.
True love is self-aware, it takes effort, dedication, and understanding. Equally important, it needs emotional maturity.
Against this understanding of true love, being alone is no longer a scary proposition. With conscious love, you are already complete as you are.
A couple whose relationship is built on conscious love does not believe that each needs the other to be complete. In other words, the idea of “soul mates” does not exist for them. What they have are a union that involves sharing from a point of contentment and emotional maturity.
In “unconscious” romantic relationships, there is a lot of immaturities. Each person actually needs the other to fill the emotional voids and other imbalances in their own lives.
This is a very toxic relationship where manipulation, emotional blackmails, and power plays are central to holding the relationship together. Neither of the two knows how to deal with their emotional immaturity.
However, when someone who is complete finds someone just as mature as they are, what develops between them is conscious love. In this kind of love, nothing is forced since no one has voids that need to be filled.
With this kind of love, what exists is mutual understanding and confidence that helps nurture a healthy relationship. It may not be perfect, but it is as real as it gets; and a good one at that.
When you want to find conscious love, you do not struggle to find the perfect person, you are already whole, and all you need is someone who is whole as well.
Here’s how you get this kind of love:
First of all, understand that it starts with you. Be the best you possible, a version of yourself that you truly love.
Then work on improving your emotional maturity, and strengthening your self-esteem, and learning to defend your personal values.
Also, find contentment in yourself without thinking that you need another person to be satisfied. Being single should not seem dangerous, being with the wrong person because you are afraid to be single is what is truly dangerous.
You also need to let go of any fears you have. That means still finding the enthusiasm to begin new relationships without being afraid of making past mistakes. Use them to make better decisions this time around.
Try to be the person you would like to have beside you so that the person you seek is reflected in who you are.
Lastly, remember that you are worth loving, and don’t let anyone convince you otherwise.