Published in May 2019 / Updated in Aug 2021
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As I walked out of the bedroom of the most luxurious apartment we had shared with my bags packed the pain rippled through my body. I could not believe that such an incredible night had ended in a way that would change me for the rest of my life. I didn’t know if I would ever be able to look at Hugh the same way again. I wanted to crumble to the ground and let the pain consume me. The man I had trusted with my heart, my soul, my body, and, my life had shattered my reverie in the blink of an eye. I couldn’t bear to look at him, I couldn’t bear to be in the same universe as him. I was blinded by my love for him and it had cost me more than I had thought I wagered. In the game of love I gambled my heart and lost in such a way that I wasn’t sure I would be able to put the pieces back together…I was officially broken.
I carried my bags through the bedroom door, placed my hand on the front door, and heard his voice on the phone doing such a simple task of speaking to his assistant. I turned and took one final look at him for an instant until I couldn’t bear it anymore, he looked at me with a look of utter confusion and stopped speaking as tears began streaming down my face again. I turned and pulled down the handle and heard the familiar click of the door opening. I pulled it towards me and walked through the threshold. I heard him yell “Fuck” as the door closed behind me and I stood there struggling to breathe, I prayed that he wouldn’t come after me, I prayed that he would stay in the apartment and never contact me again.
I knew that if I turned around at that very moment in time I would never be able to walk away. I knew that I would fall into his arms and would shake uncontrollably as the tears stained my cheeks for what would be an eternity…I knew if I stayed…It would literally kill me. I had already lost so much just by being with him and the only thing I had left to lose was my sanity. As I watched the elevator made its way to the penthouse I saw out of the corner of my eye the door to the apartment being yanked open. I couldn’t even look at Hugh.
“Ava, what the fuck is going on?” he asked with a hint of panic in his voice. I turned and looked at him.
“I can’t be near you right now Hugh, I have to go” I responded as my eyes filled with tears again. At that very moment, before he could say anything the elevator arrived, I jumped in and pressed the ground floor and began punching the “close door” button. Just as the elevator doors closed he ran to stop them but he was too late…I slumped to the floor and allowed the debilitating pain to finally consume every corner of my body and soul and reality set in…It was over…FOREVER!