The simplest clingy def is this: unwanted attention. If you have given your partner a reason to think the attention you give them is a little too much, then you might be clingy and not even know it.
It does not matter if you do it with the best intentions. Being clingy is a very personal thing, and what one person might call clingy might be normal behavior for another.
Why It’s Hard To Have A Single Clingy Def
You have to understand the definition of clingy in the context of your relationship.
That said, there are broad indicators that you might be clingy, despite the kind of partner you are involved with. For instance, do you wait patiently for your partner to reply to you or do you go crazy wondering when they will get back to you after texting them?
Also, when you don’t hear back, do you assume the worst and even get mad at them? Similarly, do you insist on being with them practically wherever they go?
What about the questions you ask this person–do you ask too many prying questions that make you seem suspicious?
And there is also another sign of clinginess many people miss because it seems like a good thing in any growing relationship: putting your life on hold for their sake.
So, have you ignored your interests and often cancel your appointments at the drop of a hat for the sake of your partner? It might be love and devotion in your book, but to your partner, that could be the worst kind of clinginess.
Giving up your own happiness for the sake of theirs will similarly make them feel that you are clingy. And so does showing blanket resentment to anyone they are close to, whether it be friends or family.
There’s A Difference Between Clingy And Caring
Apparently, clinginess depends on the intentions behind the actions you take.
If you are being nice because you are a caring person, then that’s not clinginess. But if your ‘concern’ for your partner is a way to soften them up so you can get something in return, then that would be clinginess.
Similarly, putting your life on hold until your relationship is going well would satisfy the clingy def.
It means that you have all your attention on your partner and nothing else, and that’s sure to overwhelm them. You should never put your life on hold for the sake of your relationship. It is not healthy for you, your partner, or even the relationship you have.
The greatest difference between being clingy and being caring is the level of trust that exists between the two of you.
If your partner is caring and doesn’t trust you, then that is probably just clinginess. However, if they care about you while also putting your full trust in you, then that’s different.
Besides, when you care about someone, they benefit more than you do from your actions. So, when the so-called caring benefits the giver more than the receiver, then that’s clinginess.
The difference between clinginess and care can also be understood based on how the partner feels about it. When a person receives care, they will feel loved. But when the care and concern are based on insecurity, they will feel uncomfortable and even smothered.
Unwanted affection is basically clinginess. Unfortunately, people sometimes misunderstand their partners. Maybe your boyfriend or girlfriend is genuinely caring and totally into you, but you might interpret that as clinginess, especially if you are not into them as much.
What Happens When You Are Clingy?
You might be clingy and not know it. That is why you should be on the lookout for these signs of clinginess to avoid being a burden on your partner.
When you are clingy, you might notice these things.
1. You’ll Neglect Your Friends
While it’s normal to want to give your partner the bulk of your time, if you are neglecting your friends entirely, then you might be spending too much time on your partner.
Be on the lookout for when you feel the pressure to always be with your partner, and can’t relax or enjoy yourself when with your friends or family just because your partner is not close by.
2. You Follow Them Constantly On Social Media
If you always ask your partner what they are up to on social media, then you might be clingy. If you trusted the person, you would not stalk them on social media.
3. You’ll Feel The Urge To Speed Things Up
If you feel you can’t wait for the relationship to reach its next level, and that seems to be your primary focus in the relationship, then you might be clingy and not even know it.
For instance, you might say “I love you” too early, or start using relationship labels too early. That shows you have underlying insecurities that are being manifested in the form of clinginess.
How To Stop Being Clingy
Everyone is susceptible to clinginess. And if you are fortunate enough to know you suffer from this problem, here are some solutions you can explore.
1. Learn To Trust
Trust issues make many people clingy. They feel they have to know everything that is going on with their partners to trust them. Usually, this behavior comes from past experiences in which the person was betrayed.
If you have crippling trust issues, look no further, you might be the walking clingy def.
2. Grow Your Confidence
Clinginess often comes from a point of insecurity. That means when you are unhappy with yourself, you are afraid that other people will feel the same way towards you and leave you alone and unloved.
That can make you react by being overly attached to the person.
So, with a confidence boost, you appreciate that you are deserving of someone’s love and affection, and will not get desperate to earn it.
3. Know How To Relax
Anxiety about loss or loneliness can make people very clingy. The fear of not knowing the right thing to do in a relationship to keep it going can also make someone a little overbearing and hence clingy.
This problem can be resolved by taking deep breaths and working on your self-esteem to realize that you are a valuable person and anyone would be lucky to have you as a lover or friend.
4. Go After Your Passions
Clinginess usually means you depend too much on your partner, which is often a sign that you have no hobbies or interests.
If you were busy doing the things you love, you would not be obsessing over your partner. Even in a relationship, you need to pursue your individual interests. That could be anything from piano lessons, gardening, and so forth.
5. Stop The Jealousy
Jealousy often comes off as clinginess to many people. If you are constantly worried about your partner’s loyalty to you, then they might be thinking you are too clingy.
This can make you want to hang out with the person throughout the day to make sure they don’t get any opportunities to betray your trust.
As you probably know, being in a relationship where you are not trusted can feel terrible, since you will constantly feel the need to prove you can be trusted. So learn to trust, or you might destroy the relationship.
So, What’s Your Clingy Def?
We can understand one thing from this discussion regarding the clingy def: it is all about dependence.
Yes, you might not know you are being clingy, but to your partner, your behavior might be demonstrating how incapable you are of having a life, being happy with who you are, or having the ability to deal with personal issues such as lack of trust.
That said, I also understand that people define clinginess differently. After all, some people need more attention than others, just as some people need more space than others. So, it’s all about knowing where to draw the line because no relationship is exactly like the other.
Ultimately, the true clingy def as far as you go is all about where you think the limits of dependence between you and your partner lie.