Being forced to pick between your relationship and career is a scenario that terrifies everyone. While in romantic comedies, the decision usually favors love, in reality, it's not always straightforward or wise. Ultimately, whether you should choose your career or love is a decision that nobody else can make for you. It requires careful consideration and can be a bewildering process. To clarify your thoughts, ask yourself these 11 questions.
1. Where's Your Heart At
A life driven by logic and reason may seem sensible, but if it doesn't resonate with your heart, then it's a waste of time. Consider what brings you genuine happiness. For instance, if your significant other is your soulmate, abandoning them to pursue your dreams abroad may not feel right. Even if you attain your goals, you may still feel unhappy. Similarly, if you choose your partner but yearn for a career that allows you to spread your wings, it's also not ideal. The key is to follow your intuition and passions, even if it doesn't always make logical sense. Ultimately, it's about finding happiness.
2. You Want It, But Why
It's crucial to have the right motivations for the things you want. Making decisions about your relationship based solely on guilt over a potential breakup is not a healthy approach. Likewise, pursuing a career solely for the sake of status and financial gain is also not advisable, as it won't bring genuine happiness. In fact, such choices may lead you to a dead-end.
3. What Price Are You Willing To Pay For Love
It's common to become completely immersed in a new relationship and not want to let go. While it's impossible to predict the future of your relationship, you can rely on your instincts for guidance. Consider whether your partner truly desires a long-term future with you and if they're fully committed and deserving of your time. It's also essential to determine the cost of the relationship and whether it's a price you're willing to pay or if it will leave you emotionally depleted.
4. Are You Going To Neglect Your Passions
If your career aligns with your aspirations and passions, it's important to always pursue it. Otherwise, you may regret missing out on opportunities. While it may seem harsh, it's unrealistic to expect your partner to fulfill the dreams you had for your life prior to their arrival. It's unfair to place such expectations on them.
5. Are You Being Passive About Things
Entering into a relationship that blindly steers your life is a recipe for pain and disillusionment. It's essential to determine your personal goals and direction before choosing a partner to accompany you on your journey. Otherwise, you may end up living someone else's life and pursuing their dreams rather than your own.
6. Will You Resent Your Partner In The Future
If you decide to decline a job offer across the country or a temporary job in Paris to stay with your partner, it's crucial to ensure that you won't harbor resentment toward them for your choices in the future. You must be entirely confident that you're making the correct decision, not just when it feels satisfying, but also when things don't go according to plan. Living a life without regrets should be a top priority.
7. Is Your Relationship Standing in Your Way
If you sense that your partner won't support you or if they explicitly state that they won't back you up if you pursue your dreams, then your decision has become much simpler. It's time to let them go.
8. Can You Have Both
It's not necessary to choose between love and a career as it's not always a black and white decision. Often, it's possible to have both, but perhaps not simultaneously. Maybe your relationship will need to become long-distance for a period while you study abroad or complete an internship in another state. Alternatively, you may not be interested in a relationship, marriage, or children until you climb the corporate ladder. That's alright; according to a YouGov study, 35% of women aged 18 to 24 in the UK postponed motherhood to pursue their careers. You still have plenty of time.
9. Could Your Love And Career Work Together
Having a supportive partner who wants the best for you is valuable in your life, particularly when pursuing your career goals. The love and encouragement provided by your relationship can positively impact your career. Consider this before dismissing a relationship due to being too busy. While a relationship may require more effort and compromise, the benefits can be worthwhile.
10. Are You Listening To Society Too Much
Society often presents conflicting messages, such as "love conquers all" versus prioritizing a successful career, or the fear of being single if you choose your career over a relationship. However, everyone will have their own opinion, and ultimately, it's up to you to live with the choices you make. So, there's no need to feel pressure from external opinions.
11. Who Says Your Life Is About One Thing
Trying to give your all to your career or relationship can lead to burnout and neglect of other areas of your life. It's important to find a balance that allows you to pursue multiple sources of happiness. Don't put all your eggs in one basket, as they say. If your job or relationship adds value and happiness to your life, it should enhance your overall well-being, not detract from it.