choking during sex: everything to know about sweet sexual asphyxiation

Sexual asphyxiation is the act of choking someone for sexual pleasure. Yes, you heard it right! Choking during sex. We all know about this one!

Choking during sex falls under the umbrella of breath play when it’s being played safe. It is any sex act that makes it hard for you to breathe.

People may use their hands, plastic wraps or plastic bags, or specialized BDSM (bondage, discipline, sadism, and masochism) devices like hoods for breath play.

Chocking can even be done by placing something around the neck or putting a barrier in front of the mouth and nose of our sexual partner. Talking about fun sex, right?

Porn Illusion

choking during sex: everything to know about sweet sexual asphyxiation
choking during sex: everything to know about sweet sexual asphyxiation

Not everything is super fun about this particular sex act because there is a huge problem with how some people perceive choking, and it has something to do with your second favorite thing: porn!

Choking is common in porn, usually with a male in the dominant position, so many feel this aggressive action is part of being “a man” or providing strength/dominance in a sexual experience.

If you do it wrong, it could lead to serious injury or even death.

What’s not sexy? Losing oxygen for so long that it causes brain damage.

But guess what is sexy? Being choked in the right, consensual and proper way.

Safe word

choking during sex: everything to know about sweet sexual asphyxiation
choking during sex: everything to know about sweet sexual asphyxiation

If you’re into choking, you need to know what safewords are. They basically work as your getaway ticket if things get pretty rough, and you don’t want them to be!

It can be any word that isn’t a part of common play speech, like when choosing a common word like, “Stop,” is discouraged, as people tend to use stop playfully, and the confusion could lead to the play ending when you don’t really want it to, or someone not realizing when you do really want it to stop.

Some people may wonder if they really need a safe word. The answer is yes, you absolutely do.

Traffic light system

choking during sex: everything to know about sweet sexual asphyxiation
choking during sex: everything to know about sweet sexual asphyxiation

The most common safe-words are known as the traffic light system. They’re easy to remember in the heat of the moment, and each color communicates to your partner how you’re feeling.

Red: means stop. Saying this will mean you want your partner to stop everything they’re doing immediately. Yellow (or amber): means slow down. Maybe you liked what they were doing, but then it became a little too much. It can also mean you’re reaching your limit or are edging on physical discomfort. Green: means go for it. Use green if you like what your partner’s doing, you feel totally comfortable, and you want them to continue.

All the reasons we enjoy to choke or to be choked during sex

choking during sex: everything to know about sweet sexual asphyxiation
choking during sex: everything to know about sweet sexual asphyxiation

Why do people find breath play or being choked or feeling breathless during sex to be so appealing, and is there a psychological link to our sexual desires?

Like many other kinks and sexual curiosities, breath play is of interest to people for many different reasons.

During breath play, you or your partner restrict oxygen to your brain. This is step one of the process. When your oxygen levels are low, you may feel lightheaded or dizzy. But when the pressure is released and oxygen and blood begin to flow again, you may feel another type of rush. This is caused by a release of dopamine, serotonin, and endorphins that can cause head-spinning exhilaration.

Doms vs. Subs

give me some of that sweet sexual asphyxiation

Choking or breath-play can be erotic for both partners, not just the one who is left gasping for air. The dominants sometimes have more fun, trust me.

Being “in control,” dominating your lover, and feeling as though their life is in your hands can be exceptionally erotic for some people. That is how the dominant person in the situation can also feel sexual arousal or release from choking their partner.

As a submissive person, I can say something is compelling and magical about being in a position where you cannot speak, move, or have a voice of your own during sex. The thought of being choked by your partner might be “enough” for you to feel the same kind of sexual arousal.

Physical components

choking during sex: everything to know about sweet sexual asphyxiation
choking during sex: everything to know about sweet sexual asphyxiation

Besides the obvious, erotic, and psychological reasons, there is something physically enjoyable about it all. In the immediate aftermath of choking, suffocating, or strangling, your body may confuse the rush of endorphins and hormones as a positive, pleasurable thing.

In reality, those hormones were caused by your body’s protective reaction. But in the crossfire of emotions and pleasure, these sensations may feel more like “pain is a pleasure” rather than warning signals from your brain and body.

It can be a physical turn-on as your partner is physically doing things with their hands to your body that leaves you vulnerable. And to turn on, or to be turned on, is the only thing that matters, of course, after two or more consensual adults to fulfill their wildest sexual fantasies.