Sadly, many beautiful and promising relationships don't last a lifetime. So, can you measure how long a relationship will last? How many years does it take before most couples separate?
Nothing in life lasts forever, but it's nice to contemplate that possibility. We often wish every new and beautiful relationship will last a lifetime. That, unfortunately, is not what happens in most cases.
Experts have found out how we can tell how long a relationship will last right from the start. That certainly raises questions.
For example, is a relationship only valuable and successful if it lasts an eternity? Here are some facts about love and how long it lasts.
Yes, We Can Tell How Long A Relationship Will Last
There are a lot of statistics about how long marriages last. Research says that an average marriage lasts for almost 15 years.
That's three and a half years longer than they lasted in 1990. In general, marriages are lasting longer and divorces are less common today.
On the other hand, statistically, unmarried couples don't last that long. They tend to end things after about 4 years.
The problem is that most couples marry after almost 5 years. That also means that, if your relationship survives past the 4-year mark, chances are that you are likely to walk down the aisle.
So, when considering how long a relationship will last, there is one common pattern: The longer a couple has been together, the lower the risk of separation. That is why those who have been in a relationship or marriage for more than 15 years are significantly less likely to separate.
Does It Make Sense To Predict How Long A Relationship Will Last?
The desire for security in a relationship is understandable. It's nothing new. Still, it contradicts the true nature of love.
Love requires courage and trust from the partners to grow. When it comes to how long a relationship will last, an important question is: how much do you trust your partner?
Love is a choice and it changes. At best, it grows over the years. The consoling fact is that it can be rekindled once it has cooled down.
Several factors make relationships fail. These factors also determine how long a relationship will last. For example, when the connection between the partners is lost after an affair or a significant loss of trust, the future of the relationship becomes very uncertain.
Otherwise, most people are fundamentally optimistic and think that as long as both partners want a relationship, anything is possible, regardless of the differences between them.
Happiness Can Dictate How Long A Relationship Lasts
The most important issue is not how long a relationship will last, but how satisfied and happy the partners are with each other. Fortunately, relationship satisfaction has been increasing for years.
Even if many people are searching for partners, which is particularly exhausting, people are more likely to start a satisfying relationship today. Being happy in a relationship is a very conscious decision.
For a long time, experts recognized the following: couples didn't break up because they are unhappy, but because they thought they could be happier with another partner. This meant that a wandering eye could predict how long a relationship would last.
Today, however, relationship length can no longer be determined using this method. More couples than ever are seeking support in form of therapy and counseling. In short, partners are willing to work on their relationships, which makes them last longer.
How You Started Your Relationship Can Determine How Long It Will Last
Relationships that start with difficulties usually remain difficult. This usually suggests that there is a fundamental issue plaguing the relationship, such as one partner wanting the relationship more than the other.
This means the partner's choice was wrong, and one of the partners would have to change fundamentally for such a relationship to work. That usually doesn't happen.
Unfortunately, many couples enter into a relationship in the hope that the other would adjust or realize that they have to adjust.
However, if both partners want a relationship with each other, then they can overcome their conflicts or at least compromise in a way that creates a lasting bond. It's never about solving all conflicts, but about coming to terms with the unsolvable conflicts.
These are cases where no compromise can save the relationship. After all, if you only get half of what you want, you will eventually lose optimism about this relationship because you cannot imagine being happy with this person in the future.
This means we do not have to wait months or years to determine how long a relationship will last.
So, be on the lookout for things about a new relationship that can tell you whether or not it will last to avoid wasting your time, energy, and emotions.
How You Handle Differences Can Determine Relationship Length
In the getting-to-know each other phase, people look for things in common that give them security and comfort.
During the limerence phase, which is the scientific name for the infatuation phase with its euphoric hormone cocktail that controls us, we hardly notice the differences and often ignore them.
Differences are good and necessary, but they must not be experienced as a threat but as an advantage. This means that differences should not affect how long a relationship will last, although that depends on how we choose to deal with them.
Online Dating Can Affect How Long A Relationship Will Last
There is no security in love. The concept that love should give us security is a very recent idea. Today, the desire to know at an early stage whether the investment in the relationship and the partner will be worthwhile is understandable.
Thankfully, marriages have been stronger since the introduction of online dating. Luckily, we have mostly moved on from many unhappy relationships that took place when people got together for economic reasons.
Nevertheless, long-term studies on how long relationships last today are understandably not yet available, because online dating is only 20 years old.
Although the supposedly large selection of potential partners on the Internet certainly overwhelms many singles, at the same time, this allows them to choose better partners. The decision may be difficult, but it also seems more conscious.
At least a third of relationships today began online. Therefore, we should be optimistic. The desire for a long-term love relationship is greater than ever and the internet seems to be helping out with this.
In love, it is not necessarily the length that matters, but the quality of the partnership created. A relationship doesn't have to last forever to be unique, beautiful, good, right, and important.
Otherwise, there are many factors that determine how long a relationship will last.