Published in Sep 2019 / Updated in Oct 2021
Dealing with anxiety is so challenging. Especially when you are in a relationship. Dealing with this issue myself, I know the struggles. Hiding my struggles are my specialty. Can you handle me or anyone like me?
1. Get me out of here
My anxiety is the absolute worst in public settings. Going to the store, driving down the road, even going out to eat is a struggle. We always think people are staring at us and then overthink the situation. I'll shrink back in my seat and my heart begins to race until I feel like I might vomit. I need out of here. I need fresh air to breathe.
I don't need you to tell me to stop freaking out. I don't need you to look at me like I'm crazy. Just hold me. Support me. Remind me of the steps I use to calm down. Please don't rush me.
2. Can I help you?
So often those of us with anxiety will push our own problems aside and make sure you are okay. We put other's well beings before ours. I'll make sure you have everything you need. I'll even go out of my way for you. We can encourage you to the end of the earth, but please know I can't even do that for myself.
3. No, I'm not okay
One of the most hated questions someone without anxiety asks is "Are you okay?" Well, no I'm not. But I will never tell you that. I'll put a smile on my face and seem as happy as can be. Inside though, I'm panicking. We won't tell you that we are struggling most likely. We just don't want you to worry about us.
4. Are you sure you love me?
Love and anxiety is a difficult situation. I'll go ever every little thing in my head that you say. Could I have done anything differently? Did I say something wrong? Does he still love me? Are we okay? I'll go overboard trying to make sure you are happy with me. I'll walk on eggshells for absolutely no reason. I won't vocalize my concerns, but they are there every day.
5. Leave me alone
When I'm having an episode, please leave me alone unless I ask for you. I don't want to put my thoughts on you. It's heavy enough. I want to cry in peace. I need to handle myself. You don't need this. I'll get it together, I promise.
6. I need quiet
If I can make it through an eventful day, surrounded by people I need time to recharge. To calm down. I need pure silence. I'll probably just lay in my bed. I'm not being lazy, I just need to gather my feelings and emotions.
7. I am strong
I've been dealing with this for years. I know I am strong. I will push through to the very end. I will overcome it. Sometimes my emotions may try to lead, but I'll get it together on my own. I will wake up every day and try again. I won't let anxiety control me.
8. I am worth it
I can be a lot to handle at times, I realize this. But I am so worth it. I will love you with every ounce of my being. I will try my hardest for you. I will try to help you understand. I will always be there for you. I listen so intently and take in every word you say. I'll remember the little details about you.