Love can be complicated. You may meet someone, fall in love, and eventually break up. This is just a natural part of life: sometimes relationships last forever, and sometimes they don't. When a relationship ends, does the love ever truly disappear? Is it possible to stop loving someone? That really depends on the individuals involved.
1. Love Vs. Lust: Which Is It?
Love is an unconditional emotion. Think about the love between family members, which is typically an unbreakable bond. In a romantic relationship, love can often be confused with lust, which is a temporary attraction fueled by chemical reactions. Lust fades and dies, while true love endures. Love does not dissipate over time.
2. Being In Love Isn't The Same Either
It's possible to love many people and things, but not be in love with them. You may love your pets, your shoe collection, or a beautiful sunset, but these things don't have the power to completely change your life the way love can. When you're in love, those feelings are deeply ingrained in your psyche and can stay with you for a lifetime, whether you want them to or not.
3. Time Doesn't Change Things
We all have friends who we can go long periods of time without seeing, but when we're reunited, it's like no time has passed at all. Being in love with someone is similar in that the emotional intimacy shared with that person creates a lasting connection. If there isn't a strong bond of emotional intimacy, it's possible that you never truly loved that person.
4. It's More Than Just Chemical Reactions
Some researchers believe that love is simply a chemical reaction in the brain caused by surges of feel-good chemicals. While this may be true to some extent, it seems more accurate to view this as chemically-induced infatuation. If you still feel love for a former partner after years of being apart, this suggests that there was more to the relationship than just biology. The love you feel is likely to remain for a long time.
5. It's Too Spiritual To Disappear
Being in love with someone can be a deeply spiritual experience. When you're in love with someone, you create a unique energy together that gives birth to a new life force. This can't be destroyed, not even by the passage of time.
6. It Stays With You Because It's Real
Many people claim to have fallen out of love, but when they're in the same room as their "big ex," the feelings come rushing back. This isn't because they have unresolved issues from the relationship, but rather because true love is enduring and cannot be easily forgotten.
7. There Are Different Types Of Love But Only One Reigns True
Being in love with someone can be similar to feeling lustful toward them. It's an intense, passionate feeling that may fade over time. However, when you truly love someone, you will always want what's best for them and want them to be happy, regardless of what happened between you.
8. Pain Is No Match For Love
Even if a person has hurt or betrayed you, it's possible that you'll still love them if it was true love. This is different from the feelings of lust or infatuation, which can be easily damaged by hurt or betrayal. When someone you're infatuated with hurts you, it can feel like a blow to your ego. You may feel angry because you trusted them and because you think it reflects poorly on you. When someone you love hurts you, you may be more willing to try to forgive them.
9. Death Proves That Love Is Lasting
Death is the one constant that demonstrates that true love never dies. If you lose someone you love, whether it's a parent, friend, spouse, or grandparent, you will continue to love them for the rest of your life. The love doesn't disappear just because they are no longer present. Love is enduring and long-lasting.
10. It Doesn't Have To Be A Bad Thing
It's unlikely that you can truly stop loving someone you were once in love with. However, that doesn't mean that love has to hold you back in life. The ability to love someone so deeply that it stays with you forever is a gift that not everyone is given. It's best to embrace this love, use it, and appreciate it. Love is, after all, one of the most powerful forces in the universe.
How To Stop Loving Someone If You're Struggling
1. Acknowledge The Truth: It's Never Going To Happen
Sometimes it is difficult to walk away from someone who doesn't feel the same way about us because a small part of our brain always holds out hope that things might change. We might wonder, "What if he suddenly realizes how amazing I am and wants to give a real relationship a try?" This nagging thought can keep us stuck until we confront the truth, which is that things are not likely to change. Until we face this reality, it can be hard to move on.
2. Unfriend, Unfollow, Delete
The fact that "can you stop loving someone?" is such a commonly searched question shows how difficult it can be to do so. The prevalence of social media and the internet can make it even harder to move on, as we may still see the object of our affection online. If you've accepted that things are not going to work out, it can be helpful to remove the person from your social media accounts and block them to avoid temptation. You may also want to delete their phone number and remove any other reminders of them to help you move on.
3. Give Yourself Time To Grieve What Never Was
It's completely normal and healthy to mourn the loss of someone you loved and hoped to have a future with, even if they didn't feel the same way. It's okay to admit that you were invested in the relationship and to grieve the death of the feelings you once had for them. This is a natural part of the process of moving on.
4. Think About What You Need
It can be frustrating to be in a relationship where you don't feel fulfilled, especially if you find yourself chasing after someone who isn't meeting your needs. To move forward, it's important to identify what you want and need in a relationship and a partner. This will help you focus on finding someone who can give you what you deserve in the future. It may also help you realize that the person you were with was not the right fit because they were unable to meet your needs.
5. Build A Plan For The Future
Remembering that there are many other things in your life that you want to do and people you want to meet certainly helps. Getting excited about these things can help you move on from a relationship that didn't work out. While it's natural to feel disappointment, it's important to remember that there are plenty of other options out there and that your future will be bright regardless of whether this particular relationship works out. It is possible to stop loving someone and move on, and focusing on the other aspects of your life can help you do so.