Sexual attraction is a crucial aspect of any relationship. It's natural to desire someone you find appealing, but it's important to ensure that the experience is not underwhelming or uncomfortable. The feeling of being drawn towards someone is amazing, but can sexual desire transform into love, or is the relationship destined to be only physical? Here's what you should understand.
What's The Difference Between Lust And Love?
Love and lust should not be mistaken as the same, as they are completely separate emotions based on different experiences and connections with another person. According to Matt Langdon, Chief of Health and Mental Wellness at The Great Brain Experiment, lust is a physical attraction to someone who is sexually appealing, while love requires a strong emotional bond and a feeling of deep affection.
Can Lust Turn Into Love?
1. It's not common, but it does happen
Most casual sexual relationships like friends with benefits or one-night stands are often brief, casual, and drama-free. This is what makes them attractive to many individuals. Typically, these encounters start due to physical and sexual attraction. Although in rare cases, this attraction can turn into love, it's more probable that the relationship will naturally fizzle out.
2. It's important to consider what brought you together to begin with
For many people, the main attraction to casual sexual relationships is sexual chemistry and the idea of no-strings-attached. This is especially true if you are not interested in a serious relationship or are unable to commit at the moment. If both parties involved are in agreement, then engaging in sexual desires is not a big deal. However, it's improbable that this casual relationship will lead to a long-term commitment or finding your future partner.
3. There has to be more between you than sex
Although it's possible to develop romantic feelings for someone you feel attracted to, it's not the sexual connection that deepens your emotions. According to Heather Wilson, a licensed mental health professional, physical or superficial attraction can contribute to developing romantic feelings, but falling in love requires a deeper emotional connection. To truly fall in love, it's essential to get to know the person on a deeper level and form an emotional bond that extends beyond lust.
4. Could hormones be clouding your judgment?
Having sex, particularly enjoyable sex, can trigger the release of feel-good hormones like endorphins and oxytocin, which can create a sense of intimacy, closeness, and sometimes, an illusion of love. It's possible that the intense sexual connection shared with someone is mistaken for love when it's really just a result of a satisfying orgasm. Although it's easy to confuse the two, it's unlikely that the lust felt during sex will transform into love.
5. No matter how good the sex is, that doesn't mean you're meant to be together
According to relationship expert Harman Awal, lust is not the same as love, but rather a form of attraction that can lead to intense infatuation and desire. However, true love cannot develop without shared values and trust as a foundation. It takes time for both partners to determine whether the relationship will evolve into something deeper or just remain a casual fling. To determine if a person has the potential to be part of your life in the long run, it's essential to go through the initial "getting to know you" phase with them.
What's The Catalyst For The Change?
Although it's not typical for lust to transform into love, it's not entirely impossible. If you want to move from being casual hookup partners to serious relationship partners, there needs to be a significant shift. The question is, what brings about this transition to a more meaningful connection?
According to relationship expert Caramel Jones from The Big Fling, sex is inherently intimate, and even in purely physical relationships, people get to know each other. Intimate moments like cuddling, exchanging oxytocin, and opening up in ways that you wouldn't with others can lead to a shift in feelings for some individuals. This shift can occur when you start learning personal details about your partner that go beyond the sexual attraction.
What To Do If You Fall For A Sexual Partner
1. Be honest about your feelings
Mental health professional Heather Wilson advises being honest and expressing your emotions if you develop deeper feelings for someone. It's essential to respect their boundaries and give them time to process their feelings. If both parties are open to exploring a relationship beyond just physical pleasure, a deeper connection can be formed. However, if they don't feel the same way, it's best to have a clean break to avoid additional heartbreak.
2. Consider your compatibility
While sexual chemistry can be intense, it's important to consider compatibility beyond the bedroom. Do you share similar values and lifestyles? Sexual chemistry doesn't always equate to a fulfilling and lasting relationship. It's crucial to proceed with caution, as pursuing a relationship based solely on lust can result in heartbreak for both parties involved.
3. You may need to walk away
Relationship expert Caramel Jones suggests that once you've developed deeper feelings, it's difficult for them to go away. Continuing to have sex with the person may feel like torture, especially if you're seeking a serious relationship. It's best to communicate your feelings calmly and see how they respond. If they're not interested, it's time to move on. If they're unsure, give them space to think and consider taking a break during this time.
