There are things every heartbroken girl goes through. Most of these are usually tucked away in her heart or in her top-secret diary. The diary is her only trustworthy friend. If you happened to lay your hands on it, these are the confessions you would uncover.
I am stronger than ever
I’ve been through the worst heartbreaks but still managed to come out alive. Ask me, and I will tell you that what doesn’t kill you definitely makes you stronger. I have learned all the important lessons, and I am ready for anything. There’s still a place for love in my heart because I believe in myself. I also know that it was not always my fault, so I don’t care what my friends think about me. I know some pretend to be on my side, but they actually think I am a failure. Still, I keep them and act ignorant because time is coming for me to prove them wrong.
I am afraid
Just because I am ready to try again doesn’t mean I am not afraid. It is not because I don’t know what I want, it’s just that I don’t know if my new catch will appreciate me for who I am. I am complicated and sophisticated, and that’s why no one seems to be able to handle me. I, however, don’t intend to change who I am. I changed my closet a little to add spice to who I already am, but I don’t know if it’s too much for him. Even so, I know it can go either way, and there’s not much I can do other than be me and hope he’s brave enough to take me on.
Maybe this is God’s plan for me
Sometimes it’s so bad I just feel like giving up. Maybe I wasn’t meant to be with any man for the long term. Perhaps this is what God wants of me. Maybe I should find something that single people do and perfect it. I feel as if there is a place for me in society, only that I haven’t discovered it yet.
I hate being single
I know I said being single was cool, but that wasn’t true. I don’t like being alone, and I hate it that my friends think I cannot hold on to a man. I don’t think it actually hurts to constantly stalk my ex because it’s not like I want him back. I just want to see how miserable he is after leaving me for no reason at all. I don’t dare ask any of my friends about him because they will think I am desperate. But I am not. I honestly wish he could see me now and know that I can make it on my own. Soon, I will be in love again, and this time it’s going to last.
I cry alone at night
At least no one sees or hears me sobbing. Only my pillow shares in my sorrows. I am not trying to stop because it helps me sleep. Not because I miss anyone, it’s just that I don’t know why it has to be me. I am better than some of my friends, but they get to date all the good guys. I don’t care about all guys who didn’t know what they lost, but there is one of them who hurt me the most. Why did he leave? At least I gave him my all. His picture is still in my gallery, and I can’t help but look at it before I sleep. I wish he could dial my number by accident, but he doesn’t. So I cry some more and sleep.
I wish I could learn to trust again
I have tried to trust again, but it almost feels impossible. It is the only way I’ll be able to sustain a meaningful relationship, but I can’t seem to wrap my head around it. The good thing about trust is that it is earned, so I know it will come back if the guy is worth it. Still, I fear that if I trust him, he’ll betray my trust like all the others. But what have I to lose? Life is about trying and not giving up.