Let Them Know They Have More To Offer This World Than Their Looks
We have all seen our own mothers in front of a mirror with a frown on their faces. Pinching their extra skin and fat around their middle and shaking their heads, "I'm getting so fat" or "I need to lose some weight."
But you think your mother is beautiful. You wouldn't change a thing about her. Why is she so down on herself? You are a bit chubby, does she think YOU need to lose weight? Maybe you do. Better start cutting back those calories even though you are only 10 years old.
Don't Put Yourself Down In Front Of Your
There are very few people in this world who love their bodies.
There is always something that you would like to change. Maybe you
put on too much extra weight when you were pregnant. Maybe that baby
weight didn't come off as fast as you would have liked.
Even if you think these things, it is important to never voice these things in front of your daughter. I remember my own mother was always obsessed with those extra 10 lbs that wouldn't come off. She'd go on strange diets, exercise herself to exhaustion, all for the quest of losing that extra weight that never seemed to go away.
You Will Lower Their Self Worth When You Mention Your Own Hang-Ups
That left me, a chubby child, feeling like I was fat. It made me feel that how you look is the most important thing a woman had to offer this world. After all, my mom seemed to think so, so it must be true right? And I was "fat" so I wasn't good-looking. At least that's what I thought.
By voicing her displeasure with her own body, my mom taught me that looks are the most important thing. I wish I would have known differently a long time ago. It could have saved me a lot of grief and could have given me the self-esteem to go after my dreams.
Being Fat Isn't A Negative Thing In My House
Now that I have my own daughter, I choose to never mention my
weight around her. Yes, I am a larger woman and by society's
standards, I am fat. But I am still beautiful in my own way and I
have a lot to offer this world.
I am not afraid to own my fatness. I wear bathing suits to go swimming with my kids, I wear clothing that accents my body, and I carry myself in a way that shows I am confident in myself. Am I pretty? That's subjective. It doesn't even matter. That's not why I was put here on this earth.
Who I am
I am a kind and generous person and I make people laugh. I am a good friend and am a hard worker. I am a loyal person that you can count on. I'm fat.
I am tall and wear glasses. I have big boobs and short hair. These
are all just things that describe the way I look. Fat might be one of
them. But "fat" shouldn't be a negative thing. It isn't in my
My Daughter Knows Being Pretty Isn't All That
My daughter is adorable, everyone thinks so. I sometimes cringe when people tell her this though because I know she is so much more than her small stature, blue eyes, and blonde hair.
She is sassy and fierce. She doesn't let her brothers boss her around. She is smart and funny. She has messy hair that has a mind of its own. Her hair matches her personality. She is strong and knows her limits.
And, even if her small stature changes, even if she gains a ton of
weight, all of those things will still describe her. Her weight will
not change that.
So, instead of always telling her how pretty she is, I make sure I tell her how smart, funny, and strong she is. Those attributes get her further in life than looking pretty.
We Need To Do Better, Moms
As moms, let's agree to do better than our own mothers. Let's
not put ourselves down in front of our daughters. Show them that
their place in this world isn't to look beautiful. They have more
to offer than that. WE have more to offer than that.
Carry yourself with confidence and tell your daughters how amazing
and smart they are! Show them what they can do without worrying about
how they look doing it.